Let's Play Fighting Fantasy #8: Scorpion Swamp

[Dr_Noface]

Sword and then..... frog man?

[Username17]

Do we get to have a showdown with the real Grim Shady at the end? If so, we might want to save the last Cursycurse for then.

-Username17

[Starmaker]

Sword him, we can buy Stamina in the village.

[ishy]

Can't we make an evil deal with the evil spiderman?
Perhaps get a black suit out of the deal?

[Darth Rabbitt]

(3-1 for swording him. Again. I did some peeking, and he kills you with his poisonous spiders if you try to talk to him, so it's for the better that we don't. Also, if you Curse him you get what is probably the most metal illustration in the book, spoilered below.)

You sense that the Master of Spiders is wholly and foully evil, and you attack him with your sword. He counter-attacks with a gleaming wand. You see that its tip is sharply pointed, and smeared with a foul greenish substance. Each time the wand strikes you, it does 1 extra point of damage to your STAMINA score.

MASTER OF SPIDERS SKILL 9 STAMINA 6

Combat Log:

Master of Spiders 14, Sir Puppykicker 22. Master of Spiders is at 4.
Master of Spiders 18, Sir Puppykicker 21. Master of Spiders is at 2.
Master of Spiders 12, Sir Puppykicker 19. Master of Spiders is dead.

(Another Flawless. Ironically, it seems that the things Sir Puppykicker is worst at kicking are Puppies Wolves. This may be why he set out to be an adventurer.)

Withdrawing your sword from the body of your foe, you sigh with relief. But all around you the Spiders are lurking, they start drawing closer and closer. You bend down and take the Spider Amulet from the body. When you pull it free, a spark seems to jump from it. Suddenly, the body bursts into flames! You leave hurriedly. Behind you, the flames are spreading and you hope they will wipe out the evil Spiders as well.

There are only two exits from this clearing.

Do you go north or go south?

(I've seen votes for going after the Master of Frogs next, and votes for going after the Mistress of Birds next. Either way, going north would be the next step to reaching them.)

After a short walk, you enter a pleasant, grassy clearing. You see two other exits. This is Clearing 24. (Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) You stand still for a moment, looking around you. Then you realize that there is something strange about the grass. It is growing up around you, so fast you can see the movement. As you watch, you see nippers form at the end of the stalks. They snap at you. You are in the middle of a patch of CRAB GRASS! Do you:

Attack it with your sword?
Use a Wither spell?
Use a Fire spell?

Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 11/11 (12/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 11/16
LUCK 11/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel
Amulets: Wolf Amulet, Spider Amulet
Potions: None
Spells: Curse x 1, Wither x 2, Skill x 1, Stamina x 1
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)

1: Crossroads and entrance/exit to/from Scorpion Swamp.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves.
5: A former battleground. Contents unknown.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels.
9: A Thief's picnic site. The Thief carries a Red Cloak.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The legendary Fear Flowers, which damage the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The home of some Swamp Orcs, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: Home of a Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen.
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.

EDIT: fixed broken tags.

[Omegonthesane]

We've not had access to the Evil list before; let's see what Wither can do.

[ishy]

Let's just sword these and save our wither spell for the SWORD TREES and other stuff.

[Whatever]

Just sword it.

[Darth Rabbitt]

(2-1 for swording it. The two Wither spells can be used on those Sword Trees and Fear Flowers.)

You hack at the CRAB GRASS with your sword. The nippers are easy to cut down, but more keep growing up around you. Fight the hungry lawn as though it was a single opponent:

CRAB GRASS SKILL 6 STAMINA 16

Combat Log:

Crabgrass 18, Sir Puppykicker 21. Crabgrass is at 14.
Crabgrass 18, Sir Puppykicker 17. Sir Puppykicker is at 9.
Crabgrass 9, Sir Puppykicker 22. Crabgrass is at 12.
Crabgrass 11, Sir Puppykicker 17. Crabgrass is at 10.
Crabgrass 11, Sir Puppykicker 18. Crabgrass is at 8.
Crabgrass 13, Sir Puppykicker 21. Crabgrass is at 6.
Crabgrass 14, Sir Puppykicker 20. Crabgrass is at 4.
Crabgrass 12, Sir Puppykicker 18. Crabgrass is at 2.
Crabgrass 10, Sir Puppykicker 18. Crabgrass is dead.

(I can't believe that thing fucking hit us. Seriously, it rolled 2 natural 12s in a row, and we rolled just low enough for it to hit. Do we want to cast our Stamina spell now?)

You have destroyed the Crab Grass; you have no doubt that it is dead. You search the clearing. On a tree, you find some scorched lettering: "Beware of Orcs!" That is all. You leave.

There are three exits from the clearing. Will you go:

South?
East?
West?

(So do we want to start by going after the Master of Frogs, or do we want to take the Mistress of Birds next? The Master of Frogs is closer.)

Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 11/11 (12/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 9/16
LUCK 11/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel
Amulets: Wolf Amulet, Spider Amulet
Potions: None
Spells: Curse x 1, Wither x 2, Skill x 1, Stamina x 1
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)

1: Crossroads and entrance/exit to/from Scorpion Swamp.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves.
5: A former battleground. Contents unknown.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels.
9: A Thief's picnic site. The Thief carries a Red Cloak.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The legendary Fear Flowers, which damage the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of freshly cut Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The home of some Swamp Orcs, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: Home of a Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen.
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.

[Omegonthesane]

Frogs. We're only working for Team Evil, we don't have any philosophical beef with Good wizards like the Mistress of Birds.

[Shrapnel]

Aren't we supposed to kill all the Wizard Masters and steal their Master Weapons and finally take on Dr. Not-Wily?

That being said, I, too, say that we should shin-kick Frog Man.

[Darth Rabbitt]

You can see signs that others have walked this way recently. Ahead is another clearing. This is Clearing 26. (Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) As you enter the clearing, an arrow whizzes past your head. You see three mangy-looking SWAMP ORCS armed with bows. The other two let their arrows fly. (Sir Puppykicker does not have the Golden Magnet charm.)

You dodge to the side. One arrow misses you; the other nicks your arm. Lose 1 SKILL point. Will you:

Attack with your sword?
Use a Fear Spell?
Use an Illusion Spell?
Run for your life?

(I know you'll all want to attack.)

You charge the Swamp Orcs. They are surprised at your bravery, but they drop their bows and grasp their own weapons. You are fortunate that they are not skilled fighters, because they all attack you at once.

First SWAMP ORC SKILL 6 STAMINA 7
Second SWAMP ORC SKILL 7 STAMINA 7
Third SWAMP ORC SKILL 6 STAMINA 5

Each Swamp Orc will have a separate attack on you in each Attack Round, but you must choose which of the two you will fight. Attack your chosen Orc as in a normal battle. Against each of the other two you must throw for your Attack Strength in the normal way, but even if your Attack Strength is greater you will not wound it. You must just count this as though you have defended yourself against its blow. However, if its Attack Strength is greater it will have wounded you in the normal way.

(Note: We got a Flawless but my computer erased the post because it's a fucking piece of shit despite being new out of the box last year and so I'm not bothering to try to rewrite the log or reroll what is the lengthiest fight in the book. I'm already copy pasting descriptions from earlier pages. So please just take my word that we didn't get scratched, and I apologize for the inconvenience.)

You search the bodies of the dead Swamp Orcs. Their weapons are of poor quality, and their provisions are too disgusting to touch. However, one of them has a few gold pieces which you add to your store, and another one has a crude map! Comparing it with your own, you soon find your present location, but you learn little that is new. However, directly to the south, there is a picture of a frog with a crown over its head.

You have a choice of three exits from this clearing. Will you go:

North?
South?
West?

(South leads to the Master of Frogs.)

As you follow the path southward, you hear the croaking of thousands of frogs . . . tiny ones, huge ones, and all sizes in between. The path leads into a clearing dotted with little pools. This is Clearing 8. (Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) At first, all you see is a number of huge mushrooms. Then you realize that there is a man sitting on one of them. He is very short, but stout, with snapping black eyes and a wide mouth. Around his neck there hangs a silver Amulet in the shape of a frog, and sitting on the ground on either side of him are two huge green bullfrogs. "I am the MASTER OF FROGS," he greets you. "What brings you to my home?"

Do you greet him in return or attack him?

(So do we think chatting him up or stabbing him will make it easier to loot his bling?)

Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 10/11 (11/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 9/16
LUCK 11/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel
Amulets: Wolf Amulet, Spider Amulet
Potions: None
Spells: Curse x 1, Wither x 2, Skill x 1, Stamina x 1
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)

1: Crossroads and entrance/exit to/from Scorpion Swamp.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves.
5: A former battleground. Contents unknown.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels.
9: A Thief's picnic site. The Thief carries a Red Cloak.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The legendary Fear Flowers, which damage the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The former home of some Swamp Orcs we killed, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: Home of a Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen.
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.

EDIT: noticed a typo, fixed
DOUBLE EDIT: another typo

[Shrapnel]

AH GOD THE FROG THING IS EVEN WORSE THAN THE ORC THINGS. KILL IT WITH SWORDS!

I mean, we are

evil, so we kinda have to kill it.

[Darth Rabbitt]

(Does that make Grimslade this guy?)

You rush towards him with your sword raised. His eyes bulge in surprise, and he leaps off his mushroom. His jump carries him several feet backwards. He gestures towards you, and his two Frogs jump in your direction.

Do you run back the way you came or fight the Frogs?

(If we run we certainly won't get the amulet. If we fight it's possible that we can get the Master of Frogs before he runs off.)

(No, there was no actual image here. I really just wanted to make this reference.)

There are two huge Frogs. They attack you at the same time. To your surprise, you see that their mouths are filled with tiny, sharp teeth!

First GIANT FROG SKILL 5 STAMINA 6
Second GIANT FROG SKILL 6 STAMINA 5

Both Frogs will have a separate attack on you in each Attack Round, but you must choose which of the two you will fight. Attack your chosen Frog as in a normal battle. Against the other, you must throw for your Attack Strength in the normal way, but even if your Attack Strength is greater you will not wound it. You must just count this as though you have defended yourself against it. However, if its Attack Strength is greater it will have wounded you in the normal way.

Combat Log:

Giant Frog A 7, Giant Frog B 16; Sir Puppykicker 14, 19. Giant Frog B is at 3.
Giant Frog A 12, Giant Frog B 13; Sir Puppykicker 13, 18. Giant Frog B is at 1.
Giant Frog A 9, Giant Frog B 17; Sir Puppykicker 14, 20. Giant Frog B is dead.
Giant Frog A 13, Sir Puppykicker 16. Giant Frog A is at 4.
Giant Frog A 10, Sir Puppykicker 19. Giant Frog A is at 2.
Giant Frog A 13, Sir Puppykicker 14. Giant Frog A is dead.

(Flawless again. Slaadi Giant Frogs are no match for us!)

You have slain the Giant Frogs, but their Master is nowhere in sight. He must have hopped off into the swamp. Fastidiously, you wash the blood and slime off your blade before you search the clearing, expecting him to appear and attack you from behind. You find nothing.

(Shit, we missed an Amulet!)

The only exit from the clearing is the path you took to get there. You travel north, towards the place where a short time ago you fought the Swamp Orcs. You grasp your sword, in case you have to fight again.

You are in the clearing where you met the Swamp Orcs. (Sir Puppykicker slew them.)

You have a choice of three exits from this clearing. Will you go:

North?
South?
West?

(I imagine North, to get some sweet STAMINA.)

You come across a small, overgrown clearing. You are in Clearing 3. You look around, but you see nothing. There are three exits. Will you go:

South?
East?
West?

As you walk along, you sense that you are far to the east of the point where you entered the swamp. You wonder if you have taken the right paths. Suddenly, you step into a grassy glade. This is Clearing 21. (Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) There is a crystalline pool in the middle of the clearing, with an inviting sandy beach to one side. There are no other paths leading out. Will you:

Leave and go back to the west?
Watch a while for danger?
Drink from the pool?

(We know the water is safe. So I'm assuming we drink.)

You feel revitalized. The water in the pool has healing properties. Regain 3 STAMINA points. You leave and go back to the west.

You come across a small, overgrown clearing. You are in Clearing 3. You look around, but you see nothing. There are three exits. Will you go:

South?
East?
West?

(Regardless of who we go after next, we'll be going west from here.)

You can see that ahead of you two other paths join yours in a small clearing. You are in Clearing 13. (Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) You feel a prickling sensation around your Brass Ring. Looking down, you see dozens of small SCORPIONS scuttling towards you. Test your Luck. (1,5=6; Lucky!)

Your reactions are quick. You have time to decide how to deal with the Scorpions. Will you:

Stamp on them and strike with your sword?
Cast a Fire Spell?
Leap over them to safety?

(I assume we jump, our STAMINA is 12 after drinking and so we now cannot fail.)

Roll two dice. (1,2=3.) If the total is less than or equal to your STAMINA (it is), you jump over them. If the total is greater than your STAMINA, you do not leap quite far enough, and you are stung. Lose 3 points of STAMINA.

Hurriedly, you choose an exit. Will you go:

North?
East?
West?

(So where now? We need at least one more amulet. Do we want to go after the Mistress of Birds or the Master of Gardens next?)

Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 10/11 (11/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 12/16
LUCK 10/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel
Amulets: Wolf Amulet, Spider Amulet
Potions: None
Spells: Curse x 1, Wither x 2, Skill x 1, Stamina x 1
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)

1: Crossroads and entrance/exit to/from Scorpion Swamp.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves. And his Wolf Amulet, which is now ours.
5: A former battleground. Contents unknown.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels, and hates being attacked. If attacked, he sends out 2 Giant Frogs as Pokemon, and then runs away. The latter is what happened this time, and therefore we lost the chance to grab his Frog Amulet.
9: A Thief's picnic site. The Thief carries a Red Cloak.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his recently looted Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The legendary Fear Flowers, which damage the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The former home of some Swamp Orcs we killed, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: Home of a Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen.
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.

EDIT: Guess.

[Omegonthesane]

I vote Birds.

[Darth Rabbitt]

(Birds it is then.)

You enter a rather pleasant glade surrounded by gnarled oaks. You are in Clearing 9. (Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) Leaning against a tree, eating lunch, is a small, cheerful man in dark clothes. His food is in a picnic basket. He has no visible weapons, except the knife with which he is cutting his cheese. He notices you standing there and hails you. "Good day, fighter, will you share my meal?" As he speaks, you feel the Brass Ring grow hot, warning you of evil. You realize that the man is a THIEF. Will you:

Attack him?
Ignore him?
Accept his invitation and sit down?

(I assume we attack, like the last two times.)

You hear a hiss of anger and the Thief is upon you. He has only a dagger, but he fights viciously.

THIEF SKILL 10 STAMINA 9

You may not escape, for the Thief is attacking you furiously.

Combat Log:
(lost due to copypasta errors. We got a Flawless, though.)

The body of the Thief lies at your feet. He was not as clever as he thought he was! You examine his pack. The only thing that you find that looks useful is a large Red Cloak, which you may add to your possessions if you like. (I assume we do.) Munching a bit of cheese you took from his picnic basket, you continue on your way.

There are three paths leading away from the clearing. The northern one seems to slope downwards. Will you go:

North?
South?
East?

(South, to get to the Unicorn.)

The knotted trees give way before you and you enter another clearing. This is Clearing 5. (Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) You realize immediately that there has been a battle here. The ground is torn up; blood is splashed over the dank swamp-grass, and you can see two arrows sticking in a tree not far away.

Do you examine the clearing to see what you can find or decide to leave as quickly as possible?

(Ah, fuck it. Let's see what's here.)

You decide to look around the clearing. Perhaps there is someone who needs your help - or something that can help you? Almost immediately you stumble over the body of a Swamp Orc. Quickly you search the loathsome carcass, but you find nothing of value. Then you see a wounded man leaning against a tree. You hasten to help him, but when you reach his side you find that he is already dead: three arrows have pierced his chest. Two more Orcs lie at his feet; they paid dearly for his life. You see no packs or weapons; the surviving Orcs must have looted the scene before leaving. You decide to give the fallen fighter what burial you can. As you do so, you see a golden pendant shaped like a small Magnet hanging around his neck. You may leave it, or add it to your possessions.

(I assume we take it.)

There are three paths leading out of the clearing. The one that leads east is somewhat narrower and darker than the others. Will you go:

North?
East?
West?

(West leads to the crossroads, which leads to the Mistress of Birds.)

The path dips slightly downwards and leads into a grassy clearing. This is Clearing 29. (Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) In the middle of the clearing lies a white creature. At first you think it is a horse, but when it turns to face you, you realize that it is a UNICORN. It appears to be wounded; great claw marks score its flank. But it gets to its feet and lowers its horn at you, snorting a challenge. Will you:

Run away?
Fight it?
Cast a Friendship spell?
Cast a Fear spell?
Cast a Bless spell?
Cast a Fire spell?

(I assume we fight it.)

You draw your sword and wait for the Unicorn's charge.

UNICORN SKILL 11 STAMINA 4

You are fortunate that the creature is already badly wounded. You must fight it for two rounds. Then, if you choose, you may Escape.

Combat Log:
Click here to see the hidden message (It might contain spoilers)

(Damn, that thing hurt us bad. I assume we cast our Stamina spell to get back to full?)

The Unicorn is dead. Knowing that the horn of a Unicorn has great magical powers, you cut off its horn and put it in your pack.

Do you choose to leave now or stay and search the clearing?

Test your Luck. (5,4=9; Lucky!)

At the base of a tree near the edge of the clearing, you notice a spot that seems to have been disturbed. You dig and find two Spell Gems - one for Friendship, and one to restore LUCK. Add these spells to your Adventure Sheet.

There are four exits. Will you go:

North?
South?
East?
West?

The path becomes wider by degrees, and you see flowers growing here and there. This is Clearing 23. Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) But you feel the hairs on the back of your neck begin to stand up. Something is wrong! Your Brass Ring is warning you of evil. You look around and see nothing but the pretty flowers, growing thickly along the path. Then you remember the old stories of the FEAR FLOWERS. You know that the Flowers themselves are frightening you. Their pollen induces terror. You are shaking now; lose 1 SKILL point. Will you:

Try to run past the flowers?
Attack them with your sword?
Cast a Fire spell?
Cast a Wither spell?

Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 9/11 (10/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 16/16
LUCK 9/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel, Red Cloak, Golden Magnet, Unicorn Horn
Amulets: Wolf Amulet, Spider Amulet
Potions: None
Spells: Curse x 1, Wither x 2, Skill x 1, Luck x 1, Friendship x 1
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)

1: Crossroads and entrance/exit to/from Scorpion Swamp.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves. And his Wolf Amulet, which is now ours.
5: A former battleground. Contains a corpse wearing a Golden Magnet, which is now ours.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels, and hates being attacked. If attacked, he sends out 2 Giant Frogs as Pokemon, and then runs away. The latter is what happened this time, and therefore we lost the chance to grab his Frog Amulet.
9: A dead Thief's former picnic site. The Thief carried a Red Cloak, which is now ours.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his recently looted Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The legendary Fear Flowers, which damage the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The former home of some Swamp Orcs we killed, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: The former home of a dead Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair. Like us.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen.
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.

DOUBLE EDIT: fixed a massive fuckup on my part, accidentally editing this post into a copy of the next post.

[Omegonthesane]

Those flowers drained your Skill! WITHER them!

[Darth Rabbitt]

(I should really stop saying "this is the last image from Scorpion Swamp not on the Internet... there's always another.)

You cast the Wither spell on the Fear Flowers. Lo and behold . . . they shrivel and die! You look around to see if there is anything of use here; you find nothing but the bones of a less lucky traveler.

There are two exits from the clearing.

Do you want to go north or go east?

(North leads to Mistress of Birds.)

As you continue north, the swamp seems to change in character. It becomes less gloomy, and more like a tropical jungle. Brightly colored birds flit through the trees. This is Clearing 14. (Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) Ahead of you, on a low branch, sits a huge red and yellow Parrot. As you come nearer, it speaks to you! "Who are you, and what is your business with the Mistress of Birds?" it asks. Will you:

Attack the Parrot?
Ask to meet its mistress?

(We know we can get an audience with the Mistress of Birds if we talk to the Parrot. But we don't know whether or not that'll give us a better shot at taking the Amulet.)

Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 9/11 (10/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 16/16
LUCK 9/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel, Red Cloak, Golden Magnet, Unicorn Horn
Amulets: Wolf Amulet, Spider Amulet
Potions: None
Spells: Curse x 1, Wither x 1, Skill x 1, Luck x 1, Friendship x 1
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)

1: Crossroads and entrance/exit to/from Scorpion Swamp.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves. And his Wolf Amulet, which is now ours.
5: A former battleground. Contains a corpse wearing a Golden Magnet, which is now ours.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels, and hates being attacked. If attacked, he sends out 2 Giant Frogs as Pokemon, and then runs away. The latter is what happened this time, and therefore we lost the chance to grab his Frog Amulet.
9: A dead Thief's former picnic site. The Thief carried a Red Cloak, which is now ours.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his recently looted Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The withered remains of the legendary Fear Flowers, which in life damaged the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The former home of some Swamp Orcs we killed, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: The former home of a dead Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair. Like us.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen.
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.

EDIT: fixed typo
DOUBLE EDIT: another typo

[Korgan0]

Ask.

[Shrapnel]

Jeeves.

[Darth Rabbitt]

The Parrot fixes you with a beady eye. "Just walk forward. She knows that you are coming." You go through a screen of low palm trees, and find yourself in a beautiful glade. Thousands of colored birds fill the air and the surrounding trees. Great Herons and Eagles stalk about. Seated on a low pedestal in the midst of this splendor is a lovely woman, who you know must be the Mistress of Birds. She greets you by name, and asks your business. Your reply, of course, depends on your patron. (It is Grimslade.)

Your ring is cold; you know that the Mistress of Birds is a good wizard. Around her neck you see the silver Bird Amulet you have been sent to steal. Will you:

Attack her?
Ask if she will give you the Amulet?
Cast a Curse spell?
Cast a Friendship spell?
Cast a Fear spell?

[Dr_Noface]

I find the "Just ask her" option hilarious. Do it.

I am curious what curse does though.

[Darth Rabbitt]

(If you cast a Curse spell she goes all crazy and shit and her army of birds goes all Hitchcock on your ass, and you die.)

You cannot bring yourself to attack her. You tell her about your quest and the evil wizard who sent you. She shakes her head pityingly. "I should not help you at all," she says, "for you are doing the work of an evil wizard. But you are not evil yourself, or you would not have been honest with me." She ponders for a moment. Then she smiles. "This is what I will do. I will make a false Bird Amulet. Anyone who sees it will believe it to be a true amulet. Thus, Grimslade will be deceived, and you will not have to bother my brother wizards. Though, in truth, if you meet the Master of Spiders you should slay him quickly, for he is evil." She waves her hand, and an Amulet, seemingly the twin to her own, lies in your palm. You thank her for her kindness and leave.

(I'm not sure how she thinks we're not evil, when we straight up killed one of her Neutral brother wizards and his pets for the sole purpose of looting his bling. And tried to do the same to the other Neutral one.)

The only way to leave the clearing is by the path on which you entered. Your footsteps turn south once again. Soon you will be in the glade of the Fear Flowers.

You are in the clearing where you met the Fear Flowers. (Sir Puppykicker killed them all.)

There are two exits from the clearing.

Do you want to go north or go east?

(We came from the north, so I assume we go east.)

This is the glade where you met the Unicorn, but there is nothing here now.

There are four exits. Will you go:

North?
South?
East?
West?

(So where do we want to go now? We have three Amulets now, assuming that the Mistress of Birds is right that Grimslade won't spot the fake. Do we want to go face the Master of Gardens to make sure that we have three that are the real deal, or just head back to Grimslade?)

Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 9/11 (10/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 16/16
LUCK 9/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel, Red Cloak, Golden Magnet, Unicorn Horn
Amulets: Wolf Amulet, Spider Amulet, Fake Bird Amulet
Potions: None
Spells: Curse x 1, Wither x 1, Skill x 1, Luck x 1, Friendship x 1
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)

1: Crossroads and entrance/exit to/from Scorpion Swamp.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves. And his Wolf Amulet, which is now ours.
5: A former battleground. Contains a corpse wearing a Golden Magnet, which is now ours.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels, and hates being attacked. If attacked, he sends out 2 Giant Frogs as Pokemon, and then runs away. The latter is what happened this time, and therefore we lost the chance to grab his Frog Amulet.
9: A dead Thief's former picnic site. The Thief carried a Red Cloak, which is now ours.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16. If you serve Evil and are honest to her about it she'll give a fake Bird Amulet.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his recently looted Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The withered remains of the legendary Fear Flowers, which in life damaged the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of freshly cut Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The former home of some Swamp Orcs we killed, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: The former home of a dead Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair. Like us.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen.
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.

[Shrapnel]

We can't go through Grimslade's Castle unless we have all of the Master Amulets and the Magnet Beam.

We go to destroy Garden Man. So swears me!

[Username17]

I think it is time to stabinate the Master of Flowers.

Also I think we should Skill Up, because he is guarded by an Eagle and a Ranger. We can walk around the Thief, right?

-Username17