5 Second Hooks

JigokuBosatsu · Post by **JigokuBosatsu** » Tue Jun 18, 2013 8:54 pm

Wizard School Field Trip- A group of teenaged wizards are touring nearby magical locations. Their chaperone, laid up in an inn with a bee sting on his bottom, asks the heroes to check up on them at their visit to a local dungeon's entrance. Their student teacher has decided to ENTER the dungeon, and now the young wizards are lost and having shenanigans.

Suspiciously Advanced Wolf Empire- The ancient ruins outside of town were once the domain of an ancient empire, but now home to several packs of wolves. A necromancer has come to the area to negotiate with the wolves- who are actually modelocked ancient imperial werewolves- for support with his evil prjoects.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue Jun 18, 2013 10:16 pm

I really need to use some of these...

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Tue Jun 18, 2013 10:53 pm

Extremely depressed lovesick Beholder has cast a spell that will destroy the world in thirty minutes.

You must help him find love in time to cancel the spell.

unnamednpc · Post by **unnamednpc** » Tue Jun 18, 2013 10:54 pm

It's the maiden flight of the Hindenmark - the World's largest airship - from Wilhelmshaven to New Amsterdam. On board are various dignitaries, hundreds of passengers... and several thousand war-ready automatons, hidden in the cargo hold.

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Tue Jun 18, 2013 11:26 pm

The splinter cult of chastity through Gruumsh has kidnapped all the whores and put an embargo on ale. Go raid the Orc camp and put an end to this nonsense.

angelfromanotherpin · Tue Jun 18, 2013 11:34 pm

An old favorite: Your best friend the ranger is locked up for some reason. You should get him out. If only any of you had thumbs...

erik · Post by **erik** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 12:47 am

angelfromanotherpin wrote:An old favorite: Your best friend the ranger is locked up for some reason. You should get him out. If only any of you had thumbs...

Heh, that looks akin to the time one of my friends did a one-shot D&D adventure. I'll summarize it to fit this thread.

"Your party is polymorphed into various tiny animals and forced to battle to the death other animals for an underground gambling racket."

We rolled up 1st level characters and then all got polymorphed into various tiny animals (weasel, snake, badger, and such I think determined by picking random numbers) and we had to fight some larger creature, maybe a dog or something, and later we managed to whup the human who was arranging the animal fights. I don't remember if we ever got un-polymorphed.

flare22 · Post by **flare22** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:19 am

the local lord massacred all his peasants when the went on strike and now he wants you to capture some necromancers so he can replace the peasants with zombies

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:40 am

You are guarding a cargo boat that's secretly transporting the prince. Yuan-ti terrorists have snuck on board and hijacked the plane boat.

Grek · Post by **Grek** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 2:32 am

An envoy from a distant viceroy informs you that the peasants are revolting. Literally. Apparently you've obtained a colony of troglodytes without anyone noticing. Begin the process of civilizing them!

psychognome · Post by **psychognome** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 3:00 am

Grek wrote:An envoy from a distant viceroy informs you that the peasants are revolting. Literally. Apparently you've obtained a colony of troglodytes without anyone noticing. Begin the process of civilizing them!

So going into my next game. What? I'm a sucker for puns.

Also, content: A goblin warlord has arrived into the civilized world claiming that due to their lineage they have a de jure claim on all the lands of a human kingdom. What's worse, they have all the proper documentation, tracing their way back to a time before the first humans ever settled those lands.

Another one: An orcish chieftain has recently founded an organized religion around the orcs' primal faith, declaring themselves not only a political leader but also the spiritual leader of all orc-kind. While a small schism of orcs leaning to their old faith exists, the new faith is gaining traction, and the chieftain is getting ready to mount a fullscale holy war on the lands of all non-orcs.

(Yeah, I've been playing a lot of Crusader Kings 2 recently.)

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 3:19 am

The Infernal Courts of Baator have tasked your party with serving a Child Support order to an infamous shapeshifting Red Great Wyrm.

psychognome · Post by **psychognome** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 3:46 am

hyzmarca wrote:The Infernal Courts of Baator have tasked your party with serving a Child Support order to an infamous shapeshifting Red Great Wyrm.

Personally, I would've had it been the Inevitables, but provided it was an EVIL Child Support order Baator works just fine.

Wait, why are the Infernal Courts of Baator involved anyway? Are these half-dragon/half-devil babies we're talking about?

Grek · Post by **Grek** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 4:49 am

Modron Jerry Springer.

Vebyast · Post by **Vebyast** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 5:41 am

psychognome wrote:Personally, I would've had it been the Inevitables

I misinterpreted which party you proposed replacing with Inevitables. Nearly laughed myself to death imagining the party delivering a baatorian demand for child support from to a modron.

psychognome · Post by **psychognome** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 5:47 am

Vebyast wrote:
psychognome wrote:Personally, I would've had it been the Inevitables
I misinterpreted which party you proposed replacing with Inevitables. Nearly laughed myself to death imagining the party delivering a baatorian demand for child support from to a modron.

And that's how great campaign hooks are born!

But seriously, that could be the beginning of a great D&D goes courtroom drama campaign. A half-robot/half-devil child is born in Hell. A modron gets handed a child support order. Whose side do the PCs take? The modron obviously denies everything, and a creature of pure order can't lie... right?

EDIT: and to borrow a bit from this:

Grek wrote:Modron Jerry Springer.

Maybe the PCs get hired as security guards on set as the paternity dispute of the century takes place?

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 5:53 am

(Yeah, I've been playing a lot of Crusader Kings 2 recently.)

The CK2 shout out made that post because in my games my rulers always seem to end up getting way fat, so basically now I'm imagining what Marlon Brando, Priest-King of the Orcs would be like.

psychognome · Post by **psychognome** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 6:10 am

Whipstitch wrote:
(Yeah, I've been playing a lot of Crusader Kings 2 recently.)
The CK2 shout out made that post because in my games my rulers always seem to end up getting way fat, so basically now I'm imagining what Marlon Brando, Priest-King of the Orcs would be like.

Have you got Old Gods yet? Because that DLC alone has given me so many cool ideas for stuff with barbaric civilizations I want to throw at my players at some point. (The orc warchief organizing the orcs' primal faith came straight out of Old Gods.)

Content! A circle of skulls and stones on top of a mountain in a dwarven kingdom turns out to be a holy place for the orcish faith. Unsurprisingly the dwarves are unwilling to grant the orcs free passage into their kingdom for religious worship. The situation could escalate into a full-blown orcish invasion on the dwarven kingdom unless it is diffused. What do you do?

Wiseman · Post by **Wiseman** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 12:01 pm

A dragon has decided that the princess would make a "lovely couple" with a prince of a neigboring kingdom. She intends to enforce this union by force if need be.

icyshadowlord · Post by **icyshadowlord** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:02 pm

For some reason, you find that the local dragon is infatuated with the king / the queen / one of the party members. Not only is she unwilling to take no for an answer, but she seems to be displaying the typical behaviour of a yandere as well. Probably the worst part for you is that she's a Mature Adult Red Dragon.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:48 pm

A group of teenage emo trolls has taken to listening to depressing music and cutting themselves. The problem is, they've started severing their own limbs, leaving them lying around where people can find them. The number of random claw and bite attacks has skyrocketed in the past weeks, and the local doctors are unable to keep up.

hyzmarca wrote:Extremely depressed lovesick Beholder has cast a spell that will destroy the world in thirty minutes.

You must help him find love in time to cancel the spell.

Everyone in the group draws straws. Whoever draws the short straw is polymorphed into a beholder by the group wizard and now has 29 minutes and 30 seconds to get the beholder to change his mind.

erik wrote: We rolled up 1st level characters and then all got polymorphed into various tiny animals (weasel, snake, badger, and such I think determined by picking random numbers) and we had to fight some larger creature, maybe a dog or something, and later we managed to whup the human who was arranging the animal fights. I don't remember if we ever got un-polymorphed.

If one of the party members was fortunate enough to be polymorphed into a cat, beating the human would probably be pretty easy.

Desdan_Mervolam · Post by **Desdan_Mervolam** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:53 pm

psychognome wrote: Also, content: A goblin warlord has arrived into the civilized world claiming that due to their lineage they have a de jure claim on all the lands of a human kingdom. What's worse, they have all the proper documentation, tracing their way back to a time before the first humans ever settled those lands.

So, what we're talking about here is a war campaign versus a goblin nation, because I can't see any civilized kingdom honoring a signed treaty to walk away from their land, much less a document that says "We were here first, Nyah, Nyah!".

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 2:42 pm

psychognome wrote:[. A half-robot/half-devil child is born in Hell.

Someone has to pay his fiddle school tuition

Sigil · Post by **Sigil** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 3:10 pm

Desdan_Mervolam wrote:
psychognome wrote: Also, content: A goblin warlord has arrived into the civilized world claiming that due to their lineage they have a de jure claim on all the lands of a human kingdom. What's worse, they have all the proper documentation, tracing their way back to a time before the first humans ever settled those lands.
So, what we're talking about here is a war campaign versus a goblin nation, because I can't see any civilized kingdom honoring a signed treaty to walk away from their land, much less a document that says "We were here first, Nyah, Nyah!".

What you don't realize is that he's brought along his team of Inevitable legal experts, failure to abide by the terms of the treaty will be responded to very harshly by the Mechanus Legal Action Enforcement Agency. A legal solution is called for.

Wiseman · Post by **Wiseman** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 6:06 pm

RobbyPants wrote:
hyzmarca wrote:Extremely depressed lovesick Beholder has cast a spell that will destroy the world in thirty minutes.

You must help him find love in time to cancel the spell.
Everyone in the group draws straws. Whoever draws the short straw is polymorphed into a beholder by the group wizard and now has 29 minutes and 30 seconds to get the beholder to change his mind.

Just to show off my E-peen, Beholders are genderless and reproduce asexually.

and

A young vampire noble has somehow been convinced that she will sparkle in the sunlight. At the request of her parents, they party must find a way to convince her otherwise before sunrise.