5 Second Hooks

unnamednpc · Post by **unnamednpc** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 6:51 pm

The meat circus is coming to town.

ishy · Post by **ishy** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 8:15 pm

Wiseman wrote:Just to show off my E-peen, Beholders are genderless and reproduce asexually.

But they can still look cute:

Almaz · Post by **Almaz** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 8:42 pm

ishy wrote:
Wiseman wrote:Just to show off my E-peen, Beholders are genderless and reproduce asexually.
But they can still look cute:

More importantly, a beholder can still feel lonely. Even if they have no biological inclination to seek out others of their species per se, the lack of an adequate peer to communicate with can result in intense boredom.

Alternately: the goddess of love is the one who cursed the beholder with such mushy feelings as "lovesickness" in the first place.

Also:

There is a bounty on an "ultimate monster" that was created by hybridizing several creatures, both ancient, modern, and future(?), together.

Omegonthesane · Post by **Omegonthesane** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:06 pm

The Inevitables have decided that the international XP Generation Tournament flouts several parts of the Pact Primeval and must therefore be stopped. You get to inform the multiple high-level wizards and clerics who were hoping to become even more high level by participating.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:25 pm

Wiseman wrote:
RobbyPants wrote:
hyzmarca wrote:Extremely depressed lovesick Beholder has cast a spell that will destroy the world in thirty minutes.

You must help him find love in time to cancel the spell.
Everyone in the group draws straws. Whoever draws the short straw is polymorphed into a beholder by the group wizard and now has 29 minutes and 30 seconds to get the beholder to change his mind.
Just to show off my E-peen, Beholders are genderless and reproduce asexually.

and

A young vampire noble has somehow been convinced that she will sparkle in the sunlight. At the request of her parents, they party must find a way to convince her otherwise before sunrise.

Hmmm... I stand corrected. Interestingly enough, that second example would be solvable by Polymorph and sex. In fact, most non-violent encounters could be, I think.

Grek · Post by **Grek** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:30 am

Somehow I doubt that you're going to have an easy time convincing Vampire Dad that 'draw straws to see who gets to be polymorphed into a vampire and bone his daughter' is the best solution to the problem.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:46 am

I was being facetious.

ishy · Post by **ishy** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 10:47 am

I thought the idea was to use polymorph any object on the vampire.

Omegonthesane · Post by **Omegonthesane** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 10:53 am

But at what point does sex come into it if you're polymorphing the vampire who thinks they'll sparkle instead of combusting?

Corsair114 · Post by **Corsair114** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 11:02 am

Omegonthesane wrote:But at what point does sex come into it if you're polymorphing the vampire who thinks they'll sparkle instead of combusting?

Actually, since this a vampire daughter, you'd probably want to polymorph yourself into a somewhat nerdy teen with a flair for gothic attire and self-esteem issues.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 11:19 am

Corsair114 wrote:
Omegonthesane wrote:But at what point does sex come into it if you're polymorphing the vampire who thinks they'll sparkle instead of combusting?
Actually, since this a vampire daughter, you'd probably want to polymorph yourself into a somewhat nerdy teen with a flair for gothic attire and self-esteem issues.

I can tell you from experience that doesn't work.

Corsair114 · Post by **Corsair114** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:03 pm

Prak_Anima wrote: I can tell you from experience that doesn't work.

The only rejoinder I can think of is "At least it didn't suck." That's kinda the point you were making. :/

Back on topic, though!

The local Baron wants an entire regiment of trained and tamed owlbears for his cavalry to ride. You and your travelling companions were assigned to acquire them, but it turns out they're completely sentient and unionized.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:08 pm

The party is sent to investigate a house haunted by two ghosts. The older ghost was the original owner of the house, murdered by his niece, so she could inherit the house. The younger ghost is the niece, who was murdered by the ghost of her uncle for revenge. Both ghosts are bound to the house.

In order to put the ghost of the uncle at rest, the ghost of the niece needs to be destroyed. In order to put the ghost of the niece to rest, the ghost of the uncle needs to be destroyed. So long as one is alive, the other will rejuvenate.

Omegonthesane · Post by **Omegonthesane** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:16 pm

Someone in Sigil has put up a want-ad offering Wish Economy materials for fresh Braavosi bagels. This would be easy, but they don't make bagels in Braavos.

deaddmwalking · Post by **deaddmwalking** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 8:10 pm

Omegonthesane wrote:Someone in Sigil has put up a want-ad offering Wish Economy materials for fresh Braavosi bagels. This would be easy, but they don't make bagels in Braavos.

They should be cronuts. Or Dosaints. It sounds like some people are paying for those with Astral Diamonds and other similar Wish Economy items.

name_here · Post by **name_here** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 8:32 pm

The training academy for mad wizards who build towers has decided to hold their ten-year alumni and current student reunion/meeting trip somewhere they don't get to see very often. Since they're mad wizards, this is a perfectly ordinary town with no tyrannical overlords or other problems whatsoever. Specifically, your town.

The trip lasts a month.

rampaging-poet · Post by **rampaging-poet** » Sat Jun 22, 2013 3:20 am

A local mine has breached...

... an underground lake inhabited by an aboleth wizard.
... a rift to the Elemental Plane of Earth, and the elementals want their gems back.
... the long-forgotten tomb of an ancient king. Who knows what treasures await within?
... the ceiling of a Drow settlement under siege from below.
... the ceiling of a mysteriously empty dwarven fortress. Find out what happened to them before it happens to you.
... a thriving colony of Deep Dwarves convinced that they're still at war with a long-forgotten hobgoblin warlord.
... a mysterious iron complex. The runes without defy magical translation, and a faint hum drones on from within.
... a massive cavern covered in razor-sharp crystals with mirror-like faces. Suspicious mining accidents suggest it may not be entirely uninhabited.
... the prison of a malevolent ghost. It must be recaptured or put to rest before it finds a way to break the rest of its wards.
... an uncharted passage from the the lord's castle to the Underdark. Who's been using it, and how long has it been there?

downzorz · Post by **downzorz** » Sat Jun 22, 2013 3:38 am

The King's new pleasure palace is built atop an ancient Dwarven burial ground. Fight off the swarms of ghouls upset by the desecration of their holy lands or convince the King to move his palace somewhere else.

Vebyast · Post by **Vebyast** » Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:33 am

The king's new pleasure palace is built on the site of an ancient aboleth pleasure palace. The disturbed ghosts are producing phantasms of a singularly distressing nature.

DSMatticus · Post by **DSMatticus** » Sat Jun 22, 2013 5:02 am

The dwarves have built their new ceremonial crypt atop an ancient pleasure palace. The owner and his harem may be long dead, but there's no stopping this party. Between the owner's privacy complaints, the inability to mourn loved ones without undead nasties doing the nasty in your face, and more than a few deceased dwarves deciding eternal indulgence beats death, the situation is both disgusting and unstable.

rampaging-poet · Post by **rampaging-poet** » Sat Jun 22, 2013 5:27 am

Disproving clerics have put a curse on the king's new pleasure palace. Convince them to lighten up or find another way to break the spell.

Corsair114 · Post by **Corsair114** » Sat Jun 22, 2013 5:51 am

The hills have Eldar and the Inquisition thinks you and your group have something to do with it.

Vebyast · Post by **Vebyast** » Sat Jun 22, 2013 5:52 am

A rogue druid has Awakened all the animals in the king's new pleasure palace. The king has them besieged for now, but has quietly hired you to kill them all before they find a way to escape. The other kings have equally quietly hired you to break the siege. And there's sure to be a bard somewhere that would pay through the nose for the inside scoop...

Grek · Post by **Grek** » Sat Jun 22, 2013 7:21 am

A rogue, Ithilid druid has Awakened all of the animals in the nearby jungle founded a religion where the priest-animals rip the brains from commoner-animals and feed them to the druid. The other mind flayers want him to share the delicious animal brain meats, the King wants the mind flayer driven back to the underdark, and the local druid circle is appalled by that he isn't eating the entire animal.

rampaging-poet · Post by **rampaging-poet** » Sat Jun 22, 2013 5:48 pm

Every one of the king's advisers has been replaced by an imposter. None of the imposters know about each other.