One Thread to Fix All of 3.5

infected slut princess · Wed Dec 04, 2013 7:09 pm

Enough of all these dumb fuck threads full of dumb fuck house rules trying to "fix" 3.5 or whatever. From now on, this thread will be the ONE AND ONLY THREAD that will fix ALL 3.5'S PROBLEMS.

I'll get started:

PROBLEM: Fighters pretty much blow.
SOLUTIONS: Fighter class is banned!

PROBLEM: Lack of differences between the sexes.
SOLUTION: From now on, female characters start with -2 str and -4 int. Gay men get a +4 competence bonus to Profession: Waiter checks, and lesbos get +2 str, -8 Cha, and a +4 bonus to disguise when attempting to look like a dude of their own race.

PROBLEM: Little kitty cats are too powerful and can totally kill a level 1 character..
SOLUTION: Kitty cats just inflict subdual damage instead of regular damage.

virgil · Post by **virgil** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 7:23 pm

Problem Solved!

shadzar · Post by **shadzar** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 8:03 pm

burn it and play a real game that works. problem solved.

Cyberzombie · Post by **Cyberzombie** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 9:11 pm

shadzar wrote:burn it and play a real game that works. problem solved.

Like what?

sabs · Post by **sabs** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 9:29 pm

AD&D 2nd edition, phb and dmg only.

Zaranthan · Post by **Zaranthan** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 10:06 pm

So, we're all just posting our own one-paragraph fantasy heartbreakers? Cool.

Take Shadowrun 4th edition. Slice off every rule that interacts with electricity (inernal combustion engines have alternators, so they're out, too). Make Magician, Adept, and Mystic Adept qualities free, but PCs are forced to take one, because magic is why you're not an NPC. Apply preferred high magic campaign setting.

Korgan0 · Post by **Korgan0** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 10:07 pm

Alternatively, play the only game that really matters, namely burning the capitalist order to the ground.

Tumbling Down · Post by **Tumbling Down** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 10:13 pm

B-but you guise, you can totally just use my homebrew 3.5-rebalance classes!

Rogue
Cleric
Wizard
Fighter
Necromancer
Druid
Ranger
Paladin
Barbarian
Knight
Archivist
Soldier
Fire Mage
Blackguard
Sorcerer

I call it 3.C

Leress · Post by **Leress** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 10:16 pm

sabs wrote:AD&D 2nd edition, No splats, phb and dmg only. Final Destination!

Had to.

Tumbling Down wrote:B-but you guise, you can totally just use my homebrew 3.5-rebalance classes!

Rogue
Cleric
Wizard
Fighter
Necromancer
Druid
Ranger
Paladin
Barbarian
Knight
Archivist
Soldier
Fire Mage
Blackguard
Sorcerer

I call it 3.C

No bard, 2/10, will not play.

Josh_Kablack · Post by **Josh_Kablack** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 10:23 pm

The big problem with 3.5 is that decimals are hard. It's much better to round it down to 3 or up to 4.

Ice9 · Post by **Ice9** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:12 pm

Just call it "D&D half of seven"; much clearer.

Mask_De_H · Post by **Mask_De_H** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:21 pm

Dice and abilities only get in the way, so every action is adjudicated by playing Bloody Knuckles with the DM.

Chamomile · Post by **Chamomile** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 12:37 am

Mask_De_H wrote:Dice and abilities only get in the way, so every action is adjudicated by playing Bloody Knuckles with the DM.

About halfway through the evening, players just lose the ability fail at anything, ever.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 2:43 am

The problem with D&D is a lack of granularity. To fix that, all d20 modifiers are multiplied by five and we roll d100 for any d20 roll. Additional tables of +1 to +4 fiddly bonuses are added for RAELIZARM.

Also, six second combat rounds are stupid and lack granularity. Everyone gets to act for six seconds while everyone is frozen. Combat rounds are now one second long. Movement speeds are divided by six. You get one standard action every six rounds.

The combat grid will have the squares changed from five feet to six inches.

I think that pretty much fixes everything. Once it's sufficiently realistic, everything else falls into place.

Mask_De_H · Post by **Mask_De_H** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 3:30 am

Chamomile wrote:
Mask_De_H wrote:Dice and abilities only get in the way, so every action is adjudicated by playing Bloody Knuckles with the DM.
About halfway through the evening, players just lose the ability fail at anything, ever.

Exactly. DMs are all power tripping assholes, so spilling their blood is figuratively and literally empowering to the players.

JigokuBosatsu · Post by **JigokuBosatsu** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 5:16 am

I should get my old friend Squid to hunker down with me and rewrite the "GURPS-killer" we came up with in high school, "FWOCK". ("Fantasy World Of Coin Kinetics". Yes, flipping a coin is the RNG.)

Leress · Post by **Leress** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:46 am

JigokuBosatsu wrote:I should get my old friend Squid to hunker down with me and rewrite the "GURPS-killer" we came up with in high school, "FWOCK". ("Fantasy World Of Coin Kinetics". Yes, flipping a coin is the RNG.)

So you mean like Bean.

http://www.rpgnow.com/product/89574/BEA ... nd-Edition

TiaC · Post by **TiaC** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 7:49 am

JigokuBosatsu wrote:I should get my old friend Squid to hunker down with me and rewrite the "GURPS-killer" we came up with in high school, "FWOCK". ("Fantasy World Of Coin Kinetics". Yes, flipping a coin is the RNG.)

The image called to mind by that name is you flipping a coin into the air and then sucker-punching your friend when they follow it with their eyes.

Sakuya Izayoi · Post by **Sakuya Izayoi** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 10:20 am

Nerf clerics, or, more specifically, the shrine miko prestige variant.

codeGlaze · Post by **codeGlaze** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 12:21 pm

Who needs to fix 3.5 when the future of gaming is already here?

There's an MC, there're player, classes and items. There are people telling stories and screaming at each other. It hits all the markers!

side note : Jigo, you and your daughter might like this. We ordered it for christmas. :3

OgreBattle · Post by **OgreBattle** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 1:19 pm

How did they raise 300,000$?

codeGlaze · Post by **codeGlaze** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 2:19 pm

OgreBattle wrote:How did they raise 300,000$?

I have no idea.

But the game looks like it could be incredibly fun with kids and imaginative adults. It's like :

"I SHOOT YOU WIT MAH LAZA BEEMZ!"
* 'NoWAI! I huz forcefeld up!!!!11'
"MAI LAZA BEEMS PENETRATE FORCEFELDZ!"
* 'Well I have forcefeld-penetrating-laza-beam reflectors!'

...except, you know, with a couple of rules and some general structure bolted on.

Seerow · Post by **Seerow** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 3:09 pm

Dungeons and Dragons players will often overlay D&D rules onto the game - don't even try to convince a D&D-playing judge that the Giant can defeat the Dwarf!

Dwarves confirmed OP. D&D Dwarves are reduced to humans with slower movement speed, no bonus feats or skills, and magnificent beards.

JigokuBosatsu · Post by **JigokuBosatsu** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:50 pm

TiaC wrote:
JigokuBosatsu wrote:I should get my old friend Squid to hunker down with me and rewrite the "GURPS-killer" we came up with in high school, "FWOCK". ("Fantasy World Of Coin Kinetics". Yes, flipping a coin is the RNG.)
The image called to mind by that name is you flipping a coin into the air and then sucker-punching your friend when they follow it with their eyes.

Since the two of us were co-priests of a fairly active Discordian group, I would not be surprised if that actually happened, though I have no specific memory of it.

radthemad4 · Post by **radthemad4** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 8:52 pm

Restrict play to levels 1-5. If a player hits level 6, they are back to level 1 but in a higher tier. They now always succeed at anything against a lower tier opponent without needing to roll, but have to repick their abilities (their old abilities are useless against people in their current tier), which function normally against Tier 2 levels 1-5 opponents. All checks automagically succeed against lower tiers and conversely, fail against higher tiers. This is fully backwards compatible as you would merely have to divide a monster or (N)PC's ECL by 5, round up to calculate their tier, and if the tiers are different from the party, no need to bother any further, but if they are the same tier, you have to merely have to subtract the closest multiple of 5 below the ECL from the ECL and thematically rebuild the creature from scratch as a creature of this calculated level. As for non confrontational difficulty checks, use the same mechanism as the one for calculating creature level.

There we go. Fixed forever.