Zombiefication as meat preservation method
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Zombiefication as meat preservation method
Zombies don't decay, nor do they need to eat. These two properties are very useful when you're slaughtering your livestock at the end of harvest season and stocking up for the winter.
So after you slaughter an animal, you animate it as a zombie and order it into a cell, where you lock it in until you need to rekill it for food. Repeat as necessary.
This would allow a community to harvest more livestock than it can reasonably eat, saving some for lean times years, perhaps centuries, down the road.
This would be superior to most preservation methods in that the meat would remain fresh no matter how long it was kept, but inferior in that you have to worry about killing zombie cows and zombie pigs when you get hungry.
So after you slaughter an animal, you animate it as a zombie and order it into a cell, where you lock it in until you need to rekill it for food. Repeat as necessary.
This would allow a community to harvest more livestock than it can reasonably eat, saving some for lean times years, perhaps centuries, down the road.
This would be superior to most preservation methods in that the meat would remain fresh no matter how long it was kept, but inferior in that you have to worry about killing zombie cows and zombie pigs when you get hungry.
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I don't think zombies continue to decay at an appreciable rate in D&D, otherwise there'd be stat penalties for zombies that had existed for more than like a week.
However, feeding an agricultural community is an errand beneath the notice of all beings capable of creating zombies in D&D, so that's also a nonstarter.
However, feeding an agricultural community is an errand beneath the notice of all beings capable of creating zombies in D&D, so that's also a nonstarter.
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There's ways to animate dead for no material component cost, or with a single startup cost, but still, this is a terrible idea that probably doesn't work anyway. It relies upon a compliant DM to accept the pretenses that they don't decay and are safe to eat.
As get rich quick schemes, this ranks below buying 10' ladders and splitting them into 10' poles for resale.
As get rich quick schemes, this ranks below buying 10' ladders and splitting them into 10' poles for resale.
Well, it isn't a get rich quick sceme so much as an excuse to have the PCs walk into a cellar full of zombie cows.erik wrote:There's ways to animate dead for no material component cost, or with a single startup cost, but still, this is a terrible idea that probably doesn't work anyway. It relies upon a compliant DM to accept the pretenses that they don't decay and are safe to eat.
As get rich quick schemes, this ranks below buying 10' ladders and splitting them into 10' poles for resale.
Zombies in DD run on negative energy which is specifically harmful for the living.
Plus notice that a destroyed undead cannot be reanimated further proving that they are not normal meat anymore.
After all zombies get damage reduction out of nowhere so yeah good luck digesting that.
Plus notice that a destroyed undead cannot be reanimated further proving that they are not normal meat anymore.
After all zombies get damage reduction out of nowhere so yeah good luck digesting that.
FrankTrollman wrote: Actually, our blood banking system is set up exactly the way you'd want it to be if you were a secret vampire conspiracy.
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I'm pretty sure "zombify some cattle" has already been tried by Umbrella Corp. It was one of their T-Virus experiments.
"Experiment: injected T-Virus into cow.
Results: cow turned into a giant zombie monster animal, just like every other fucking animal we tried this with. Giant zombie cow now on the loose, eating guards and blocking access to medical bay."
"Experiment: injected T-Virus into cow.
Results: cow turned into a giant zombie monster animal, just like every other fucking animal we tried this with. Giant zombie cow now on the loose, eating guards and blocking access to medical bay."
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Yes, but what did the giant zombie cow taste like? That's what we all want to know.Koumei wrote:I'm pretty sure "zombify some cattle" has already been tried by Umbrella Corp. It was one of their T-Virus experiments.
"Experiment: injected T-Virus into cow.
Results: cow turned into a giant zombie monster animal, just like every other fucking animal we tried this with. Giant zombie cow now on the loose, eating guards and blocking access to medical bay."
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This.maglag wrote:Zombies in DD run on negative energy which is specifically harmful for the living.
Plus notice that a destroyed undead cannot be reanimated further proving that they are not normal meat anymore.
After all zombies get damage reduction out of nowhere so yeah good luck digesting that.
But maybe quick bursts of Negative Energy can be used to kill bacteria and preserve food for transportation.
There should be more uses for Necromancy on the food industry, besides "skeleton peasants".
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It's even listed under Necromancy instead of Conjuration.nockermensch wrote:This.maglag wrote:Zombies in DD run on negative energy which is specifically harmful for the living.
Plus notice that a destroyed undead cannot be reanimated further proving that they are not normal meat anymore.
After all zombies get damage reduction out of nowhere so yeah good luck digesting that.
But maybe quick bursts of Negative Energy can be used to kill bacteria and preserve food for transportation.
There should be more uses for Necromancy on the food industry, besides "skeleton peasants".
Kaelik wrote:Because powerful men get away with terrible shit, and even the public domain ones get ignored, and then, when the floodgates open, it turns out there was a goddam flood behind it.
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I believe they try this trick with the immortality juice in the Anne Rice Mummy book, but it turns out regenerating steak is not a great idea.
Omegonthesane wrote:a glass armonica which causes a target city to have horrific nightmares that prevent sleep
JigokuBosatsu wrote:so a regular glass armonica?
On the other hand for two levels lower you can turn a big chunk of rotten food edible again.Omegonthesane wrote:It's even listed under Necromancy instead of Conjuration.nockermensch wrote:This.maglag wrote:Zombies in DD run on negative energy which is specifically harmful for the living.
Plus notice that a destroyed undead cannot be reanimated further proving that they are not normal meat anymore.
After all zombies get damage reduction out of nowhere so yeah good luck digesting that.
But maybe quick bursts of Negative Energy can be used to kill bacteria and preserve food for transportation.
There should be more uses for Necromancy on the food industry, besides "skeleton peasants".
Last edited by maglag on Wed Jul 20, 2016 6:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
FrankTrollman wrote: Actually, our blood banking system is set up exactly the way you'd want it to be if you were a secret vampire conspiracy.
If you're not concerned with the ethical issues or stresses to the animal I imagine casts of lesser restoration or cure light wounds (depending on how you decide to model the action) to restore flanks of muscle you harvest from living livestock may also be viable.
Gentle Repose on the corpses of animals that have died either deliberately or from natural causes would then continue to extend their shelf life and as noted Purify Food and Drink extends it further.
Gentle Repose on the corpses of animals that have died either deliberately or from natural causes would then continue to extend their shelf life and as noted Purify Food and Drink extends it further.
"Experiment: subject A tasted the T-virus giant zombie cow.hyzmarca wrote:Yes, but what did the giant zombie cow taste like? That's what we all want to know.Koumei wrote:I'm pretty sure "zombify some cattle" has already been tried by Umbrella Corp. It was one of their T-Virus experiments.
"Experiment: injected T-Virus into cow.
Results: cow turned into a giant zombie monster animal, just like every other fucking animal we tried this with. Giant zombie cow now on the loose, eating guards and blocking access to medical bay."
Results: Subject A turned into another giant zombie mutant. Subject A now on the loose, eating the leftover guards and blocking access to exit."
When your zombies are produced by super virus, eating them may not be the wisest of plans.
FrankTrollman wrote: Actually, our blood banking system is set up exactly the way you'd want it to be if you were a secret vampire conspiracy.
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Seriously, salt. Just salt. All of these other 'ideas' are like trying to use a nuke to build an outhouse, it's overkill, and the wrong tool.
An idea that might actually work idea, would be to make salting &/or smoking casings out of Rope Tricks (via UMD'd wand)(smoking) & Portable Holes(salting).
Of course, a PH's 10' cylindrical extradimensional space is incredibly valuable in its own right. With any extradimensional space however you can: circumvent many regions dangerous traits via extra-dimensionalism (like Eberron's "you can't heal here" for the Mournland, Goodberry potions onlee; damn), store an adventuring parties many needs in your back pocket.
An idea that might actually work idea, would be to make salting &/or smoking casings out of Rope Tricks (via UMD'd wand)(smoking) & Portable Holes(salting).
Of course, a PH's 10' cylindrical extradimensional space is incredibly valuable in its own right. With any extradimensional space however you can: circumvent many regions dangerous traits via extra-dimensionalism (like Eberron's "you can't heal here" for the Mournland, Goodberry potions onlee; damn), store an adventuring parties many needs in your back pocket.
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