Beat this monster!

[Jerry]

Alright, look at the stats.

Now, make a character that can kill this golem.

P.S. Bonus points if you can name the source.

[Talisman]

Hey, I can beat a white box containing a red X on my worst day.

[Jerry]

Hey, I can beat a white box containing a red X on my worst day.

Oops, it was probably a glitch or something; right click it and select "View Image."

[Talisman]

...Still a No Picture Golem.
I'm on IExplorer; maybe it's a browser problem? Can you see it?

[Jerry]

I use Mozilla.

The monster is a Neutronium Golem.

[Leress]

I use Mozilla.

The monster is a Neutronium Golem.

I'm using Firefox and I can't see it.

EDIT:Now, I can.

[Calibron]

This thing is CR 9721. Do you have any idea what you can do with epic spells when you have over 9000! levels to play with?(the answer is no, btw, no one knows because that is a purely retarded level to attempt to play D&D at) Suffice it to say that at least 8500 levels ago you made a spell or two that automatically erases all potential threats from existence at the instant prior to their creation.

[Jerry]

Good point, Caliborn; Epic-level D&D breaks down rules-wise quicker than a car with a stick of dynamite up its exhaust pipe.

[shau]

My only thought is to summon something fireproof and order it to get near the thing and shove a portable hole into a bag of holding for the free trip to the astral plain effect. Not a kill but close enough.

Then again, you could just have a fire immune diplomancer walk up to the thing and convince to accept something a really expensive gem that trap the soul has been cast on.

[Psychic Robot]

What, exactly, is divine fire damage? Is it fire damage that isn't stopped by fire resistance?

[RiotGearEpsilon]

Divine fire damage is fire damage that is not stopped by fire resistance unless that fire resistance explicitly blocks /divine/ fire damage.

[Nihlin]

My only thought is to summon something fireproof and order it to get near the thing and shove a portable hole into a bag of holding for the free trip to the astral plain effect.

I'm not seeing any Plane Shift-type ability at all, so yeah, shoving it through a portal or a gate or whatever is a pretty good approach. There's bound to be some plane somewhere that is deadly to this thing, just send it there.

[angelfromanotherpin]

I don't see that it has any resistance to it's own heat aura. If that's the case, then it should defeat itself in short order.

[shirak]

As far as I can tell, this thing can do precisely fvck-all against a Wizard with Ethereal Jaunt, Teleport and Forcecage. After it's in a Windowless Cell Forcecage (for a minimum of 26 hours at min level 13) you can just throw Permanent Walls of Force around it and, um, ignore it for eternity? Or something.

This will be a lot easier with Extraordinary Spell Aim and Ye Olde Quickened Forcecage/Antimagic Field combo. I am not sure what happens to a Permanent Wall of Force in an Antimagic Field but whatever. Also, isn't there a Create Sphere of Annihilation spell around (SpC I think)? That should solve the Stay-Around-To-Keep-An-Eye-For-Idiots-Who-Want-To-Free-This-Thing problem if you can't get your hands on an actual Sphere.

Alternatively, a Spell Dancer (say, a 12th+ level Artificer) can teach it a couple of things about Blasphemy it wont like.

[Koumei]

What, exactly, is divine fire damage? Is it fire damage that isn't stopped by fire resistance?

Essentially, it's utter bullshit.

[RandomCasualty2]

The thing still has int as a non-ability so it's easily tricked. Even a simple illusion to look like it's creator or something would work.

The hard thing is getting close to it, so basically you'd want some kind of illusion you can teleport somewhere. A remote illusion that acts as clairvoyance/clairaudience senor shoudl be possible even pre-epic. Then it's just a matter of convincing it to go away. Since it has no intelligence, that can't be all that hard.

As a second option, a hulking hurler + a gate spell could probably do it. The hurler can literally do billions of damage in a hit and the gate spell would let you project the rock at your target without getting within its death aura. You'd need that psionic feat that turns a ranged attack into a touch attack as well, then just a hell of a lot of buffs, like true strike and moment of prescience, to hit the 88 touch AC.

[virgil]

I only glanced at it when you first showed it, and now it's giving a 404 when I try to view the image again. But a prior poster already made a very valid point; it doesn't have any form of teleportation, magical attacks, or ethereal interaction. This means you can get right up to it in the ethereal plane and cast force cage, followed by half a dozen permanent walls of force. You don't even have to be epic to take it out, so long as you get warning of its existance on a particular plane.

[Psychic Robot]

Divine fire damage is fire damage that is not stopped by fire resistance unless that fire resistance explicitly blocks /divine/ fire damage.

Ah.

So, basically, you can create a weak epic spell that negates its abilities.

[Jerry]

But does anybody know its source?

Edit: Immortal's Handbook

[Jerry]

Next monster to beat:

Tarrasque with a Fly Speed.



But seriously, folks: Midnight Bliss, brought to you by 4chan!

Living Midnight Bliss (CR 20; Neutral)

Huge Ooze
HD: 15d10 (70 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
AC: 18 (-2 huge +8 Deflection +2 Dex)
Base Attack/Grapple: +11/+19
Attack: Slam +14 (11 BAB 3 STR) (1d8+6((One and 1/2 STR) plus Disrobe, Orgasmic Vibrations, Reverse Gender)
Full Attack: Attack: Slam +14 (1d8+6 plus Reverse Gender, Orgasmic Vibrations, Disrobing)
Space/Reach: 15 ft/15 ft
Special Attacks: Engulf, Disrobe, Reverse Gender, Orgasmic Vibration, Tentacle Rape
Special Qualities: Ooze Traits, DR: 10/Magic, SR 25 (10+caster level)
Saves: Fort 17, Ref 15, Will 15 (resist bonus +8 )
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 15, Con 18, Int --, Wiz 15, Cha 18
Skills: -
Feats: Improved Grab
Enviroment: Underground

A huge, swirling mass of undulating, dark blue vapor edges its way towards you. As the mass moves closer, it throbs as faint, pearly spurts expel from it - leaving a sticky trail in its wake.

Living midnight blisses are a huge conflagration of 3 spells (Disrobe, Reverse Gender, and Orgasmic Vibrations) given life as an ooze. These creatures are exceptionally rare - as only by a truely freak accident or by the fevers of a depraved madman are they ever created.

A living midnight bliss would likely be encountered underneath ruins where decadent, hedonistic rituals were performed in the distant past, or within the Shadowfell where it would overlay with popular material plane brothels.

Combat

A living midnight bliss is most often encountered by surprise - swirling out of its hiding spot and engaging a target with its slam attack. If successful, it may attempt to grapple the victim and engulf them as a free action.

While engulfed, the victim is constantly assaulted with the ooze's three spell-like abilities. This is very traumatic and stressful (if not enjoyable) for the victim, and as such, they suffer 1 point of Wisdom damage each round. Spellcasters must make a Concentration check (DC 28 ) to cast spells. Skills requiring patience must also pass this save to be used.

If a victim's Wisdom score is reduced to 0, they are rendered unconscious and expelled by the creature. Unlike standard ability score damage, any Wisdom damage caused by a living midnight bliss will be regained at the rate of 1 per minute of rest. If no other living and conscious targets remain in the area - or if bloodied - the living midnight bliss will attempt to flee and find a hiding spot to rest in.

A living midnight bliss does not intentionally kill its victims to prey on them. However, it may inadvertantly slam its victim to death trying to grapple them, or they may die from other sources once they have fallen unconscious and been stripped of their armor.

Engulf (Su): A living midnight bliss can flow around a Huge or smaller creature as a standard action. It cannot make a slam attack during a round in which it engulfs. The living midnight bliss merely has to move over the opponents, affecting as many as it can cover. Opponents can make attacks of opportunity against it, but if they do so they are not entitled to a saving throw. Those who do not attempt attacks of opportunity must succeed on a Reflex save (DC 24) or be engulfed; on a success, they are pushed back or aside as the spell moves forward. Engulfed creatures are subject to the full normal effect of all three spell-like abilities composing the living midnight bliss each round on it's turn, and are considered to be grappled.

Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, a living midnight bliss must hit with its slam attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can engulf.

Spell-like Abilities (Su): A creature struck by a living midnight bliss' slam attack is subjected to the normal spell-like effects it is composed of - Disrobe (DC 18 ), Orgasmic Vibrations (DC 24), and Reverse Gender (DC 18 ).

[Prak]

Divine fire damage is fire damage that is not stopped by fire resistance unless that fire resistance explicitly blocks /divine/ fire damage.

or a less powerful form of hellfire...

So, basically, you can create a weak epic spell that negates its abilities.

hell, you don't even need that, fire immunity should do it.

Living Midnight Bliss (CR 20; Neutral)

Huge Ooze
HD: 15d10 (70 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
AC: 18 (-2 huge +8 Deflection +2 Dex)
Base Attack/Grapple: +11/+19
Attack: Slam +14 (11 BAB 3 STR) (1d8+6((One and 1/2 STR) plus Disrobe, Orgasmic Vibrations, Reverse Gender)
Full Attack: Attack: Slam +14 (1d8+6 plus Reverse Gender, Orgasmic Vibrations, Disrobing)
Space/Reach: 15 ft/15 ft
Special Attacks: Engulf, Disrobe, Reverse Gender, Orgasmic Vibration, Tentacle Rape
Special Qualities: Ooze Traits, DR: 10/Magic, SR 25 (10+caster level)
Saves: Fort 17, Ref 15, Will 15 (resist bonus +8 )
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 15, Con 18, Int --, Wiz 15, Cha 18
Skills: -
Feats: Improved Grab
Enviroment: Underground

A huge, swirling mass of undulating, dark blue vapor edges its way towards you. As the mass moves closer, it throbs as faint, pearly spurts expel from it - leaving a sticky trail in its wake.

Living midnight blisses are a huge conflagration of 3 spells (Disrobe, Reverse Gender, and Orgasmic Vibrations) given life as an ooze. These creatures are exceptionally rare - as only by a truely freak accident or by the fevers of a depraved madman are they ever created.

A living midnight bliss would likely be encountered underneath ruins where decadent, hedonistic rituals were performed in the distant past, or within the Shadowfell where it would overlay with popular material plane brothels.

Combat

A living midnight bliss is most often encountered by surprise - swirling out of its hiding spot and engaging a target with its slam attack. If successful, it may attempt to grapple the victim and engulf them as a free action.

While engulfed, the victim is constantly assaulted with the ooze's three spell-like abilities. This is very traumatic and stressful (if not enjoyable) for the victim, and as such, they suffer 1 point of Wisdom damage each round. Spellcasters must make a Concentration check (DC 28 ) to cast spells. Skills requiring patience must also pass this save to be used.

If a victim's Wisdom score is reduced to 0, they are rendered unconscious and expelled by the creature. Unlike standard ability score damage, any Wisdom damage caused by a living midnight bliss will be regained at the rate of 1 per minute of rest. If no other living and conscious targets remain in the area - or if bloodied - the living midnight bliss will attempt to flee and find a hiding spot to rest in.

A living midnight bliss does not intentionally kill its victims to prey on them. However, it may inadvertantly slam its victim to death trying to grapple them, or they may die from other sources once they have fallen unconscious and been stripped of their armor.

Engulf (Su): A living midnight bliss can flow around a Huge or smaller creature as a standard action. It cannot make a slam attack during a round in which it engulfs. The living midnight bliss merely has to move over the opponents, affecting as many as it can cover. Opponents can make attacks of opportunity against it, but if they do so they are not entitled to a saving throw. Those who do not attempt attacks of opportunity must succeed on a Reflex save (DC 24) or be engulfed; on a success, they are pushed back or aside as the spell moves forward. Engulfed creatures are subject to the full normal effect of all three spell-like abilities composing the living midnight bliss each round on it's turn, and are considered to be grappled.

Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, a living midnight bliss must hit with its slam attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can engulf.

Spell-like Abilities (Su): A creature struck by a living midnight bliss' slam attack is subjected to the normal spell-like effects it is composed of - Disrobe (DC 18 ), Orgasmic Vibrations (DC 24), and Reverse Gender (DC 18 ).

Easy, a dungeonomicon Monk/wiz/Boneblade reaper could do it no problem. The disrobe has little to no effect, and this character should be able to grapple better than the ooze.

[Jerry]

Thanks for contributing, everyone! I don't get why "power-gamers" and rules-lawyers are such negative terms; I'd want someone in my group to know the rules so that the group doesn't get stagnated over some obscure event.

2.) Living Midnight Bliss is over-rated for its CR; no powerful save-or-lose/dies, no big damage abilities, and it can't become ethereal, fly, and its base speed is slow. Orgasmic Vibrations stuns you for a number of rounds equal to the caster level, so the Midnight Bliss spell is harmless on its own, but can be lethal with a group of Rogues.

[mlangsdorf]

Is it just me, or could a Level 20 fighter built by a casual player solo this thing? AC35+ means it can't hit, the fighter has a better grapple bonus if does hit so he won't be engulfed, DR 10/Magic is irrelevant at that level if it can't disrobe it's opponent, and it only has 70 HP. Run up, ignore the attacks that will almost never hit, then whack the thing with a sword until it dies.

[Leress]

Is it just me, or could a Level 20 fighter built by a casual player solo this thing? AC35+ means it can't hit, the fighter has a better grapple bonus if does hit so he won't be engulfed, DR 10/Magic is irrelevant at that level if it can't disrobe it's opponent, and it only has 70 HP. Run up, ignore the attacks that will almost never hit, then whack the thing with a sword until it dies.

Hell you can do it with the Warrior NPC class with NPC wealth. I made one and killed this in one round. (Pure Core)

[RandomCasualty2]

Thanks for contributing, everyone! I don't get why "power-gamers" and rules-lawyers are such negative terms; I'd want someone in my group to know the rules so that the group doesn't get stagnated over some obscure event.

Power gamer isn't always negative but rules lawyer is negative because it's about a player who not only knows the rules, but is constantly slowing the game down to argue about them.