- More of a focus on collaborative storytelling, like a PbtA game
- more systems for combat than just "If you're hitting someone with a sword you roll this ONE move"
- good systems for talking with NPCs and convincing them of things
- Actual systems that encourage roleplaying your character rather than treating it like a game to be won, and encourage you to make time for little scenes between characters
- that same feeling of growth and leveling up from D&D.
I can list off and talk about plenty of different systems, and did, but I'm curious if people here have any suggestions I can take to her.
Looking at it myself, I don't know of one system that does all that, or even a system that feels like a clear winner. For collaborative storytelling and encouraging rp, there's FATE. For talking to npcs, there's After Sundown and Fate. For more tactically deep combat, I don't really know of a system that really does "different characters have different feeling combat stuff" (or does it well, I should say). Fate sort of comes out on top, but it doesn't really have much in the way of an advancement system. And combat doesn't necessarily feel different from one character to another.
Now.... yeah. I think 3.5 could work well, with some hacked in subgames. But, my friend and most of the group isn't really up for the deep mechanical grind of 3.x. For that matter, I think Storyteller could be molded into something that works well. But she's got a job and not necessarily the inclination to dig into Storyteller and take on the project of making it work.
So, after those, the only real strong contender is FATE with some hacks, but I'm not sure FATE can be hacked to have character advancement in a satisfying form.