I actually took a page out of Frank's book when regestring over here; Hicks is my family name. Although everywhere else (the old WotC boards and the Battletech Boards) I'm Alekzandr, the name of the first and second table top RPG characters ever played. Here's a poem about how the second one mercifully died:
Here lies the mind,
Who could not find,
A single, small success.
Killed by his friend,
In demon's den,
Damn Dwarf, who caused this mess.
It's because of the misadventures of that Alekzandr Madrigore that I locked myself in a room for a year to study 3ed edition, and ultimately became a powergamer.
Last edited by Hicks on Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Long ago, I was registering an account on Battle.net to play Starcraft.
I put in one name idea, can't remember what.
Taken.
Next one. Taken.
So I finally, put in I_Got_This_Name. Not taken. Since then, that's been me. For everyone's convenience, I've started shorting it to the acronym lately.
SphereOfFeetMan is a joke character I envisioned after reading the Dnd 3.0 Fiend Folio (FF). The FF was the first book to include extended rules for grafts and symbionts. You can see where this is going. Happily, there are no rules stating that you must restrict yourself to a sane number of limbs. So I looked at what a 20th level character could get with this. Turns out, this gifts SphereOfFeetMan with 379 additional legs. 378 of which are Fast Legs which each add a +10 ft. unnamed bonus to speed. The last limb is a Trampling leg, which gives a trample attack.
In 3.0, there was no rule restricting you to trampling an enemy only once per round. Combine this with the 3,780 foot base nonmagical movement speed granted by the legs, and you reach insanity (quickly). Min/Maxing, my friend calculated the average damage inflicted to be close to a million points of damage per round. The fastest speed SphereOfFeetMan could reach (min/maxxing) was something like .1% the speed of light (Mach 875).
So, you are walking along in Dnd land, and you see this huge dust trail off in the distance. It rockets towards a nearby town, and in seconds it essentially vaporizes the town by trampling the people and buildings to dust. It pauses, just for a moment, and you barely make out this sphere of filthy feet pulverizing everything in its path. Then it runs off into the sunset. You are then hit with sonic booms so loud it sets your hair on fire.
I chose this pseudonym because it is unique, and the absurdity of it makes me smile.
There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
SphereOfFeetMan wrote:It pauses, just for a moment, and you barely make out this sphere of filthy feet pulverizing everything in its path. Then it runs off into the sunset. You are then hit with sonic booms so loud it sets your hair on fire.
I chose this pseudonym because it is unique, and the absurdity of it makes me smile.
Absurdly grafted characters unite!
Seriously though, that would be an awesome epic counterpart to the hecatonchires. Multiheaded template, eat your heart out.