Mixed Martial Arts

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Tue Dec 31, 2013 2:09 am

I imagine he's too busy doing really awful art.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue Dec 31, 2013 2:11 am

Deadpool may be really zany, now, but he's also pretty damned functional. The fact that he's nigh-immortal allows for him to be both.

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Tue Dec 31, 2013 2:13 am

Koumei wrote:I imagine he's too busy doing really awful art.

He's taken some art lessons since the 90s and was quite angry in 2010 when I mentioned that blog about his worst drawings.

CatharzGodfoot · Post by **CatharzGodfoot** » Tue Dec 31, 2013 4:14 am

Sigma, I thought you did praying mantis kung fu.

radthemad4 · Post by **radthemad4** » Tue Dec 31, 2013 5:13 am

Cynic wrote:I think I would be forced to somehow cosplay Danny the Street.

Awesome. I'm eagerly waiting to see how you pull that off and then watch you punch people.

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Tue Dec 31, 2013 5:42 am

radthemad4: I eagerly await the day that i can effectively punch people as well. I think the costume would be far easier to achieve than the second goal.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Tue Dec 31, 2013 6:23 am

I think I've actually punched people about five times including childhood scuffles, and in one of those times (high school) I sprained my wrist and needed to keep it taped for over a month. Possibly it was actually a fracture or something, I didn't see a doctor.

(Now chokeholds are another matter, I very quickly learned how to apply a kataha-jime.)

radthemad4 · Post by **radthemad4** » Tue Dec 31, 2013 7:51 am

Cynic wrote:radthemad4: I eagerly await the day that i can effectively punch people as well. I think the costume would be far easier to achieve than the second goal.

There aren't two goals. I wanted to see you punch people 'in costume'. Sure, Danny doesn't punch people, but MMA fighters don't shoot webs, fly, etc. so it's all good.

I've never actually punched anyone as far as I can remember. When I was in Taekwondo class we were only allowed to just kick people (not hard though) while sparring. My best memory of Taekwondo class was kicking a guy into the audience (we weren't on a stage and the 'audience' was everyone who wasn't sparring and they were sitting on the floor). We weren't allowed to kick hard, but we were allowed to push with a kick. The guy, and some audience members fell over, but there weren't any bruises or anything. It was hilarious. I got bored of Taekwondo after a while and haven't done it in years though.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Tue Dec 31, 2013 10:03 am

Koumei wrote:I think I've actually punched people about five times including childhood scuffles, and in one of those times (high school) I sprained my wrist and needed to keep it taped for over a month. Possibly it was actually a fracture or something, I didn't see a doctor.

(Now chokeholds are another matter, I very quickly learned how to apply a kataha-jime.)

I've broken my right hand twice, on heads that I thought needed some punching at the time. Let's see. I've got a few other notable punches, from being a nerd in elementary and middle school. And when I took kung-fu in elementary school, I once decked my sparring partner. As in his feet left the ground and he landed on his back. I don't know how that happened, to this day. I wasn't ever that strong as a kid. I do remember it happening because of the bitching-out I got all around.

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Tue Dec 31, 2013 10:02 pm

CatharzGodfoot wrote:Sigma, I thought you did praying mantis kung fu.

pffff nope.

I don't want to break my wrists.

EDIT: I have had common injuries in the college fight clubs such as some kind of minor fracture in my ankle from a blocked snap kick and wrist injuries from improper blocking. Some guys tried to pick on me because "hey look he's injured, we can take him" so I used wing chun and boxing and took them on with fairly steady stances that don't put weight on one foot entirely.
I learned not to use kicks unless it's the kind of Joe Rogan TKD spinning back kick that uses the heel of your foot, which I've only learned recently by watching fucking YouTube videos of Joe Rogan teaching GSP. Still practicing that, which is difficult having learned a different method through lung fu do that turned out to be only effective for point matches.

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Tue Dec 31, 2013 10:08 pm

radthemad4 wrote:There aren't two goals. I wanted to see you punch people 'in costume'. Sure, Danny doesn't punch people, but MMA fighters don't shoot webs, fly, etc. so it's all good.

Correction!
There was a Spiderman fighter in 2010 that entered the arena, rolled up his sleeves, and sprayed his foe before tackling them.
I thought it was ridiculous, but it was all for show.

As for my own retardisms in the cage, I've done things such as climb the siding and drop onto my opponent (it was a foul but it was funny), hump my opponent when they try to grapple me, dance when they back off, and crack jokes into the mic between rounds.
However, my knowledge of the Deadpool character was limited at the time, so when someone shouted "What do you think of Bea Arthur?" I said "Who is that?"

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue Dec 31, 2013 10:23 pm

sigma999 wrote:However, my knowledge of the Deadpool character was limited at the time, so when someone shouted "What do you think of Bea Arthur?" I said "Who is that?"

Do you speak in yellow word bubbles?

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Tue Dec 31, 2013 11:15 pm

Shrapnel wrote: Do you speak in yellow word bubbles?

I wish.

I mentioned the thought boxes and internal dialogue of new Deadpool to Rob Liefeld when I met him. He said that was not his intent for the character, but it's not his property any more so it doesn't matter.

I've been reading the vintage Deadpool series by torrent lately and found "old Deadpool" to be more entertaining than the new.
He would talk with himself as if he was his own audience rather than struggle with disembodied voice boxes.

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Wed Jan 01, 2014 12:22 am

I remember racing Jason Miller, an ex-Somalian ex-CIA sniper, and a bodyguard late at night in 2010.
Jason is FUCKING FAST. WHAT THE FUCK. I beat everyone else but him; he kept up with me easily and I swear he slowed down to make it a tie.

I was the second fastest runner in high school. I kept up with exercise since. Not a good jogger, but bursts of speed are my advantage.

Yet this guy... you'd think he was just this big 180 pound lug, but he's fucking FAST.

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:43 am

I talked with Joe Rogan briefly in the summer of 2010. Dana White or somebody showed him some clips of the costumed fights, which were becoming increasingly brutal, and Joe must have caught wind of it.

I had a brief chat with him online. I invited him to come over to DC and teach but he refused.
"Just watch the YouTube videos."

Later I heard he was legit scared of these kinds of people, these agents with license to kill, mixing with amateur MMA trainees. I think it's a kind of anti-government fear in general but with the introduction of rules changes thanks to communication with Dana there were some changes.
The more I talk about it the more I'm itching to get back there. Not much longer now.
2014 will be a great year.

However I'm trying to remember if I met Bas Rutten or not. I wasn't much into the celeb aspect of fighting three years ago.
There were quite a few tall white guys with shaved heads, but I remember using "the superman punch" on someone and they fell over dizzy.
I usually don't get scared in a fight, but this guy was a huge pro htat outmatched me in weight and muscle (not hard to do really) and he came at me low, failed, then tried to straightarm me so I dodged and did the same back.
He was just lying on the ground laughing for a while before the round ended...

The one time I was terrified for my life (among the times I've been shot at) was in a hospital. I was just admitted, standing alone with a nurse in the entry unit, and this three hundred pound 6'5" black dude comes waddling in demanding a fight.
I wasn't doing too well at the time so I kept backing up. Hit a wall. The guy puts me in a strangle, says "You can't win every fight!"
Some agents came to my rescue. He was given a sedative at gunpoint and dragged to the bathroom. I laid down thinking he was removed. I didn't know he and the agents were still there.
When he awoke he had teary eyes and was holding his ribs. Someone had "worked him over" with a bat while he was out, injuring him through all the fat and muscle, just to make me look good.
"Please just go" I said, "I'll fight you in the cage if you want to make it official" and he ran out.
And that was the last I saw of him.
How the fuck do you fight someone twice your weight anyway?

The Vigilante · Post by **The Vigilante** » Wed Jan 01, 2014 10:58 pm

OH MAN, this thread.

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Thu Jan 02, 2014 12:44 am

ugh am I going to get the label of "internet tough guy"

Where else can one discuss MMA and fighting? A fighting forum? They are all filled with low IQ roid-pumped "fite me irl" dudes. I've been there to discuss technique and all I got was shitposts.

I just want an intelligent discussion as an aficionado and practicer.

I'll stop posting about people I've met, I'm not trying to brag, it's just funny stories.

I had a heart to heart talk with an ex-Army steroid abusing friend that took a lot of "brain enhancing supplements" two years ago. We were standing in the woods when he wanted me to fight him.
I yelled "I don't want to fucking hurt you!" when he showed me his jeet kun do moves and I had every chance to plant a palm into his chin when he bent over, but this guy is 6'3" and like 200 lbs of workout fanatic muscle. He's fast, he's strong, and his eyes go wide with adrenaline when he fights.
"You don't know how to fight" he was yelling "They are just telling you that to make you feel better. What ever you are doing is not jeet kun do. I don't know where the fuck you learned it but that's not it."
That was the last time I saw him.
So there's that.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Thu Jan 02, 2014 1:31 am

I would suggest finding plain martial arts forum, as opposed to MMA. I think MMA is popular enough that, say, a Jeet Kun Do forum, would have some fans who are interested in discussing technique in MMA.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Thu Jan 02, 2014 2:30 am

I'm pretty sure nobody here believes a single word you are typing, sigma. This is becoming a bizarre tale kind of like when Count Aurioch did his "living in underground tunnels. Just me, my spider, and my pony fucktoy". Less entertaining though. I recommend adding more surreality, and less "So I was having dinner with the King of Uganda".

The Vigilante · Post by **The Vigilante** » Thu Jan 02, 2014 2:34 am

sigma999 wrote:ugh am I going to get the label of "internet tough guy"

Nah, more like mall ninja.

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Thu Jan 02, 2014 2:41 am

Koumei wrote:I'm pretty sure nobody here believes a single word you are typing, sigma.

I'm used to it. Burden of proof etc.
But even if I posted photos, you would state "That's not you" and "Photoshop" among other things. No one here know what I look like.
I'm not a searchable, verifiable, public figure like Frank Trollman.
Moving on.

And what the fuck is a mall ninja?

EDIT: I looked it up. I take it Urban Dictionary can be trusted.
Maybe that was meant to be an insult, maybe a joke, but I'm unfazed.

The key word here is "experience".

fite me irl

The Vigilante · Post by **The Vigilante** » Thu Jan 02, 2014 2:44 am

sigma999 wrote:And what the fuck is a mall ninja?

Someone who goes around the Inter-Nets posting stories like yours.

http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Thu Jan 02, 2014 2:51 am

Da fuck am I reading. This guy must have been as bored as I am lately.

Entertaining read.

erik · Post by **erik** » Thu Jan 02, 2014 6:11 am

Thank you, Mall Ninja! That was on the tip of my mind since this thread began and now a weight has been lifted from my tiny brain.

I too was reminded of Count's Spider Diaries as well, but sadly with less surrealism and more name dropping.

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Thu Jan 02, 2014 5:16 pm

Now I need to see Arioch's rants.

Is he even still alive?