So, I'm still talking about the same girl I always have, for anyone that actually remembers me talking about my girlfriend on here...
anyway, we've been going through some stuff, money's tight, and that always stresses a couple out, and apparently she thought we needed to really sit down and talk, but decided it should wait til after the first because she didn't want to ruin my holidays. Finally, it gets past the holidays, and we start to talk about, now, I've noticed she's been pretty withdrawn, and apparently she thinks we need to take a break, so I summon up all the strength I can, I knew this was coming, to some degree, because I knew our relationship was kinda hitting bottom, we'd talked somewhat, and she mentioned a few things I needed to work on and I had been. So we decided to take a break, and she goes out with friends. She comes home later that night, and eventually gets really emotionally distraught, and decides it was a stupid idea. So we're no longer a break, and I feel better. little bit later, like a day or two, on the ninth, ish, she decides that she really does want to take a break for about a month, so she can feel independent, and I, again, summon up what strength and maturity I can, and say ok. It takes a hell of a lot of strength, because I become very... reliant, I suppose, on significant others, to the point that having someone in my life is really the only thing that makes it worth it (I've got fuck all going on... no job, no things with friends, except a weekly game, and contrary to possible belief, gaming is not point in my life) and I think for me to be able to hold my head high, and say "ok, whatever we need to do" with maybe only a few shed tears, but no weeping, no begging, nothing, I think that takes a hell of a lot of strength on my part, knowing me. Plus, I figure if we're on a break, I can slake my fleshly desires on someone else, as we haven't been having sex. (somewhere in there we momentarily decided to just be non-sexually exclusive, but she decided we needed a real break.)
So, then she asks if she can have the (my) bed (we live together), initially I don't see a reason and just say "do we really need to not sleep in the same bed?" and we go to bed, her quite angry, apparently. The next day or the day after we talk about it and I decide, ok, I'll sleep on the couch while we're on a break, it's not a big deal, I can sleep anywhere. If nothing else, it's a show of respect for her, which can do nothing but earn me brownie points, as one of her issues is she feels I don't respect her.
Another issue is that she's not really sexually attracted to me anymore. This is several things taken together, first, apparently, as good as she has always said I am, I have no sense of rhythm motion wise. This is apparently a big deal... (I am completely open to suggestion on how to fix that, I have no god damned clue...), second she has a problem with my chest and ass. Now, I'm a big guy, 300-ish lbs but a good bit's muscle so it's not like I'm a damned blob, but more of...
fuck it, here's a pic:
that should be a good enough pic so you have some idea of what I look like size wise (yes, that's her beside me). Her problem is she hates the way my ass feels, so she wants me try to tone it (which I'm working on, I need to get in the habit of going down to the exercise room, but it actually felt pretty good to exercise the other day, I'm not sure it's ever actually felt quite so good to exercise, so it's a good start). The other thing, she hates my chest. Now, of course, I'm a big guy, so I have man-boobs, but again, fixable with exercise, which I'm working on. She doesn't much care about my gut, or anything else, but those two areas bug her. Plus, with any luck, my gut should get worked on too, I'm doing crunches and an exercise bike as part of my routine.
Anyway, beyond that, I know she likes the chase, she likes being pursued, and had frequently complained that I never did anything romantic anymore, so I'm working on that too. On nights I game, I leave her a movie, popcorn, candy, a soda, and I've put my writing talent and study of mythology to use by actually writing a short allegorical myth tracking our relationship. I split it into six parts, and planned on writing out two parts of it each week during the break that I had a game, and leaving a rose to go with each part. I screwed up the first week (the other week, no game last week) and wrote out only one part and left a single rose, so this week I wrote out the next three parts and left three roses. She loves roses, and has fifteen-ish dried roses on her desk from various sources (mostly me, actually). My plan is, well, there's one more week before we sit down and have another talk and figure out what we're doing, so another two roses and the last two parts of the myth, which actually includes, basically, my pledge to continue the pursuit, always, because she wants to be constantly pursued, even if I have her. Then the day we're supposed to make the decision, I will present her with half a dozen roses, for a total of 12 over the course of our break.
I need to get better about doing house hold chores when asked, I got better then got worse about it, and she works and I don't, I am the house-wife for all intents and purposes.
Now, fortunately, she doesn't expect my physical problems to be instantly solved, just being worked on, and she says she still loves me, and I believe her (or I believe she did... past couple days she hasn't said it back, even though throughout the break she hasn't denied she loves me, so I honestly don't know what's going on there).
So, I'd welcome advice and critiques from people, especially the, like, handful of women we have on the boards. If anyone's got pointers those are always good, especially if they can help me work on those trouble areas. Our diet is getting better just because my mother helped us out and put up a hundred dollars so we could get some groceries, and we focused on real food; meat, vegetables, and the like, rather than the quick cheap crap we'd been subsisting on. I figure a better diet will help with the body, right?
Count, I don't want you to not respond if you wish, but I know you have particularly dour views on women, and they really won't help here, so please keep any advice you might have off of the "forget her, women suck" track that I've seen come from you so much recently.
