Twilight sucks.

Psychic Robot · Post by **Psychic Robot** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 5:13 am

If you like it, you're a terrible person who is going to burn in hell. Bella is Stephenie Meyer's fucking self-insert Mary Sue, and Edward is a goddamn wish-fulfillment Mary Sue. There is no real conflict in the story. Meyer is a shit writer and her legion of mindless followers cause me to boil with unending and impotent rage.

And a werewolf falls in love with one of Bella's ova.

This is a better version of the movie script. Here is an analysis (and summary) of the books by an ex-Mormon.

Your life is now richer for having read this post.

koz · Post by **koz** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:25 am

No offence, PR, but you are preaching to the converted so hardcore, any worse would be a televangelist talking to himself.

Crissa · Post by **Crissa** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:13 am

Yeah, I'm pretty much sure I already linked to that.

-Crissa

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:36 am

Well now you have it linked twice.

Still, can you really hate Edward's eternal mope? He fucking sparkles.
Who cares if he's ungodly fast and immortal, he sparkles.

Draco_Argentum · Post by **Draco_Argentum** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:27 am

sigma999 wrote:Who cares if he's ungodly fast and immortal, he sparkles.

I don't know about you lot but sparkling is not on the list of traits I'm after in a guy.

koz · Post by **koz** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 10:24 am

Draco_Argentum wrote:
sigma999 wrote:Who cares if he's ungodly fast and immortal, he sparkles.
I don't know about you lot but sparkling is not on the list of traits I'm after in a guy.

Me neither.

PhoneLobster · Post by **PhoneLobster** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:16 am

I could dig a sparkly chick. But that's what glitter and skin safe glue is for.

TOZ · Post by **TOZ** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:01 pm

Twilight sucks.

Thread complete.

Judging__Eagle · Post by **Judging__Eagle** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 4:59 pm

Well.... I'm not really looking for a guy.

Sparkles on a girl though..... I guess it depends on how sparkly they are?

Also, PR, you missed the last thread that we had about this. XD

Psychic Robot · Post by **Psychic Robot** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:24 pm

It needed to be said again.

koz · Post by **koz** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:28 pm

Psychic Robot wrote:It needed to be said again.

There are only so many times one can state the obvious before it becomes trite.

mean_liar · Post by **mean_liar** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:32 pm

We're still not there yet.

Twilight sucks.

...

Hm. Nope. Not there yet.

Surgo · Post by **Surgo** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 10:50 pm

I don't really understand why everybody feels the need to rag on a novel written to be liked by and comprehensible for tweenagers. It's like ragging on Goosebumps for having trite and stupid plots.

Psychic Robot · Post by **Psychic Robot** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:01 pm

Harry Potter vs. Twilight. Go.

CatharzGodfoot · Post by **CatharzGodfoot** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:19 pm

Oh, come on. Goosebumps was awesome.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:36 pm

CatharzGodfoot wrote:Oh, come on. Goosebumps was awesome.

I was just about to say that, actually...

Parthenon · Post by **Parthenon** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:26 am

No Goosebumps wasn't awesome. Were they supposed to be in any way scary?

In terms of sparkly, I can almost see the romantic aspect of your true love standing out of the crowd, always being able to see them and up to seeing them sparkling. Almost. If it was a personal thing and only you could see it. Maybe. If you were on drugs at the time.

Okay, fine, its retarded.

Someone I know really liked the series, and I can't call them an idiot because I'm currently borrowing his Wii.

Ever noticed how they don't teach sex education in Harry Potter? And there is no contraception? You can't really put it off by saying that its for kids when the last couple of books really aren't. Can you really see yourself explaining to your child about the second world war and about how in the book it was all about fighting evil wizards? Anyone under the age of puberty won't understand much of it, if any.

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:30 am

Contraception would be bad because that would mean fewer wizards and STDs aren't a problem that a little bit of magic couldn't fix.

erik · Post by **erik** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:38 am

All I know is a bunch of my female coworkers are passing around that Twilight book and talking about how much they like it. I asked them if it truly made any sense that 100+ yr old vampires were in a highschool and lusting after a dumb chica and also how ridiculous was the sparkling.

Unanimously it was declared that the highschool setting made sense and the sparkling was ominously blamed on diamonds. I dared not ask more.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:51 am

ubernoob wrote:Contraception would be bad because that would mean fewer wizards and STDs aren't a problem that a little bit of magic couldn't fix.

except it's a co-ed boarding school with students between the ages of 13 and 18, I'm sure they don't want students having sex, but I'm sure they also realize it's inevitable, and would rather not have students bringing babies into classes (especially since the babies could interrupt exacting potion brewing and cause, at best, small explosions, or the babies could be harmed by something.) I would think the students get some form of sex ed, possibly folded into magical beast husbandry taught by Hagrid.

However, I'm just an american that spells (some) things the british way, I don't really know much about the british attitude toward sex.

koz · Post by **koz** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:51 am

clikml wrote:All I know is a bunch of my female coworkers are passing around that Twilight book and talking about how much they like it. I asked them if it truly made any sense that 100+ yr old vampires were in a highschool and lusting after a dumb chica and also how ridiculous was the sparkling.

Unanimously it was declared that the highschool setting made sense and the sparkling was ominously blamed on diamonds. I dared not ask more.

Inequivocable proof that most people are retards.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:55 am

Mister_Sinister wrote:Inequivocable proof that most people are retards.

I'd be willing to be charitable and call it proof that people are just willing to suspend disbelief as much as necessary for something they enjoy.

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:16 am

Prak_Anima wrote:
ubernoob wrote:Contraception would be bad because that would mean fewer wizards and STDs aren't a problem that a little bit of magic couldn't fix.
except it's a co-ed boarding school with students between the ages of 13 and 18, I'm sure they don't want students having sex, but I'm sure they also realize it's inevitable, and would rather not have students bringing babies into classes (especially since the babies could interrupt exacting potion brewing and cause, at best, small explosions, or the babies could be harmed by something.) I would think the students get some form of sex ed, possibly folded into magical beast husbandry taught by Hagrid.

However, I'm just an american that spells (some) things the british way, I don't really know much about the british attitude toward sex.

Well, that's simple. Hogwarts has a magical enchantment that inhibits any sort of conception while the students are enrolled.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:45 am

ubernoob wrote:Well, that's simple. Hogwarts has a magical enchantment that inhibits any sort of conception while the students are enrolled.

that works. Hell, there's already, apparently, one in place to inhibit technology...

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:05 am

Well, in-universe, that's not true.

It's explained that technology just frizzes out because of all the magic in the area.

Which, really, that was...unsatisfying. Rowling says there's magical auras. Hogwarts has a powerful one because, let's face, it's an artifact-level building. Dumbledore could even sense the auras. But it only gets mentioned twice.

But there's stuff to get keep muggles away from the castle...there's stuff to make them see the castle is just an uninteresting ruin. Which is only mentioned by Hermione because she read the book about Hogwarts to be dutiful in her role as Information Repository.