PTA2: Topic Titles Hate Japanese

Stories about games that you run and/or have played in.

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PTA2: Topic Titles Hate Japanese

Post by Shrapnel »

So, as I may or may not have noted, we now have a new PTA campaign, already three sessions in. Because DarthRabbitt is apparently too cool to cover the new campaign in the old PTA thread, we now have a whopping total of two PTA dedicated threads. Ah, well.

Well, let's start with the basic premise:

There'z these things called Pokémon, and people befriend them and make 'em fight. Pikachu's the most popular Pokémon, and yet it's really hard to get in the games, and in some versions it's freakin' unobtainable. On top of that, Pikachu isn't even that good a Pokémon. The fuck, man.

Anyway, the campaign is set in PokéKanto, which may or may not be in Japan. It's like the real Kanto in that it's full of people and has buildings.

Now that that's out of the way, let's get on to the characters.

My character:
Image
Name: Cuil
Class: Psychic
Trainer Title: Pokémaniac
Pokémon:
- Ladybird, Male, Lv. 15, was trained to attack white people (the reason it doesn't attack Cuil is because it's colorblind, and thus can't tell that he's white)
- Sproutfrog, Male, Lv. 10, a sadist whose favorite tactic is to Leech Seed people in the crotch
- Why the Hell Can't I Think of a Name, Male, Lv. 10, space filler and cannon fodder
- Untitled, Male, Lv. 1, a baby Totodile who hasn't got a name yet

Description: Cuil is an stark raving mad Pokémaniac, and has a lithopedion constantly hovering over his left shoulder. He also wields a whip and a lollipop, and recently came into the possession of a rather large sword whose use of apostrophes defies the use of url tags. What he uses any of these things for is probably best left unknown. I don't know what his boner ultimate goal is, but whatever it is, it can't be good!
FACT: Darth custom made Cuil's sprite by sticking the hands of a Gen 1 Tamer to the arms of a Gen 2 Pokémaniac. Can you tell?
Darth's character:
Image
Name: Agahnim
I'll let Darth do the rest.
FACT: Did you know that Agahnim comes from another video game made by Nintendo? It's true!
I can't seem to remember who the other players were (there were at least two others).

Hmm, I wonder...

Oh, well. When I remember what exactly happened in the three prior sessions, then I'll put 'em here. Unless DR wants to. Till next time, Dodgers!
Last edited by Shrapnel on Mon Oct 07, 2013 7:48 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: PTA2: Topic Titles Hate Japanese

Post by Darth Rabbitt »

Shrapnel wrote:Oh, well. When I remember what exactly happened in the three prior sessions, then I'll put 'em here. Unless DR wants to. Till next time, Dodgers!
I'll do it.
Image
Name: Agahnim
Trainer Class: Breeder/Evolver (going into Move Tutor and Grass Ace)
Trainer Title: The Dark Wizard
Description: Agahnim is basically a really creepy looking guy of indeterminate age wearing a bright green and pink robe. All of his Pokemon are named after Zelda bosses, and his starter is a Squirtle named Ganondorf who he will do anything for. He is attempting to create hordes of super-powered monsters. Agahnim's goal is to make Ganondorf a Venustoise, so he can be the most metal thing on the planet and lead Agahnim's souped-up brood to victory. Once that happens, world domination will follow. Or something like that. Probably.
Pokemon of note:
Ganondorf "The Dorf" Dragmire: Wartortle male, Brave nature, level 15. Met at level 10 as a Squirtle. (starter.)
Mothula: Butterfree male, Bashful nature, level 12. Met as a Caterpie whose level I can't recall.
Helmasaur King: Aron male, Careful nature, level 14.
Special: Agahnim was inspired by my old game of Red/Blue where I named my Blastoise Ganon because it looked like the old 16-bit Ganon to me. Judge for yourself:
Image Image
I can't seem to remember who the other players were (there were at least two others).
The other two characters were:
Sincha Zelig, a 14-year old rabbi Ace Trainer going into Normal Specialist. Pokemon: The Gov'ner (Zigzagoon) and Kid Dropper (Rattata.)
Phineass (pronounced "fine-ass") Gorehound, a demon-worshiping shut-in Researcher. Pokemon: Fire Hazard (Litwick) and Load Bearing (Timburr.)

Next up: campaign log. But first: behind-the-scenes action!
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Post by Shrapnel »

Sincha (which is apparently Yiddish for pimp or something) got us perma-banned from Lavender Tower because he (and the rest of the party, minus me - I wasn't present at that session) scared some children for no good reason and then launched into an insulting tirade against the director of the tower that consisted of a bunch of insults that revolved around the director not being Jewish and/or circumcised.

Phineass wants to overthrow the government because he's an anarchist, but unlike ISP, he has fancy words to back up his false ideologies.

FUN NOTE: I originally was playing Kris in this campaign, but because everyone else was being WRONG I switched characters, and DR did too for some reason. I can't really remember the specifics of any of this, aside from the fact that it pissed off our DM, so it was worth it.

OTHER FUN NOTE: I came up with my current character (Cuil) at something like 4am while I was looking at porn. Make of this what you will.
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

Since as Shrapnel said he wasn't there, I'll explain what happened in the first session. As he implied, we were both going to play our characters from the previous game, but the way this game was going made that unfeasible. So I'm writing this as if we were playing Cuil and Agahnim from the beginning because retcons are all the rage these days.

A Priest, A Rabbi, and A Researcher Walk Into a Bar

So the party meets in Lavender Town, where there is some sort of conference going on or something like that. We meet a guy named Michael Strazinski, and Agahnim tries his best to avoid him, fearing that Strazinski will force him into a shitty deal with the devil where Dorf is aborted. Well, there's a battle where someone else's Butterfree is basically exploded by the Dorf Ice Punching it and some other things get their asses kicked too. Everyone gets some sweet, sweet XP and the world moves on. As do our heroes, to check out Lavender Town.

The Conspiracy Begins

So a company called Cloverleaf Industries seeks to convert Pokemon Tower into a Radio Tower. Phineass suggests that they start the most metal band ever by broadcasting in a grave site with ghost Pokemon in the background, and Agahnim (ever the lover of metal) agrees to this, as does Sincha. They visit the tower to scout it out. A wave of protesters blocks the entrance to the tower. Talking to them, our heroes are dismayed to find out that the graves will be moved upon construction. We vow to take care of this.

Enter Guido

We fake being investors and get an audience with Guido, the mysterious head of Cloverleaf Industries. This marks the first and last time that a plan of ours will work. Talking to him, we realize it's not going to be a radio tower, and they want it for some other sinister purpose. We want in and Guido offers us a job with Cloverleaf, but he tells us to go out and get some experience under our belts before doing too much for him.

Pride Cometh...

So we decide to get some Ghost Pokemon in Pokemon Tower before doing anything else. It's there, may not be there for long, and Ghosts would prove useful in order to fight Sabrina, the closest Gym Leader. Everyone catches some Duskulls and all is good. Drunk upon our success, we decide to play a harmless prank on some kids by scaring them. Being stupid kids, they cry and piss themselves and shit themselves and run into walls. One of the kids happens to be named Michael Strazinski, and we assume that means that he's the son of the guy we met earlier or something. The director of Pokemon Tower (who just happens to be nearby) calls for security and we run.

...Before a Fall

Agahnim catches a Cleffa on the way out. (it was going to be a Gastly but then the MC heard the Navi "Listen" phrase - Phineass' player's ringtone -and declared it was a Cleffa instead). Confronted by the director and his rent-a-cops, Agahnim declares that the director's claim of them being responsible for anything is a lie. They don't buy Agahnim's claim, despite his high CHA, and advance. Agahnim decides to try to talk it out, but Sincha speaks first. He announces that the director is a goy whose foul, uncircumcised dick-cheese is stinking up the room and clouding their minds to the truth. We're kicked out, banned for life, and Agahnim says that the director is a fascist who religiously discriminated against Sincha. Sincha and Phineass decide revolution against the oppressive government is the only solution. Agahnim goes along with this, and the session ends here.

(And it was about here that I realized my previous character would be terrible for this game. Shrapnel changes characters next session, and technically so do I. The MC will be continuing the adventures of Tsubasa and Kris [Johnny and Crazy Jeff have left] for sessions where Phineass and Sincha's players can't make it, as Shrapnel and I can make it to the MC's place much more frequently.)

Next up: Exposition! But first: Time Travelers!

EDIT: fixed typos, adjusted some other things.
Last edited by Darth Rabbitt on Wed Oct 09, 2013 12:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Shrapnel »

I mourn the loss of Crazy Jeff "The Jew Goblin" Goldbloom. The world is a lesser place without him.
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Post by Shrapnel »

Apologies for the long delay.


So, as I write this, we are in the middle of a PTA session, meaning that this... IS LIVE FROM NEW YORK.

The GM has just noted that I'm an asshole, and has asked that I put it here.

We're also all wearing blue shits shirts.

Anyway, we are currently fighting against the Bushes. As in George W..

In the previous session, we had challenged them to a legal battle, and won.

Now we're fighting them illegally, with intent to shoot to maim, motherfucker.

I started by having my character using Extrasensory on their Jolteon, and then Darth used a devolution ray to devolve it into an Eevee, causing it to faint.

One of the Bushes lowered our ATK stage down by minus two (-2).

Then Sincha Zelig" froze the Bushes four kids.

And that brings us to the present.

EDITED: Fixed names
Last edited by Shrapnel on Sat Nov 02, 2013 6:51 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Post by Shrapnel »

Flareon, the Bushes one remaining Pokemon, has used Superpower on Darth's Pokemon, hurting it a bit.

Darth is now going to use Water Pulse.
(Rolled to hit; 1, used an action point; 15, hit)

(Rolled for damage, 2d8+21=26 damage before defenses, doubled after)
My Croconaw used Water Gun.
(Rolled to hit; 11, hits)

(Rolled for damage, 1d12+6=16 + 15=31 before defenses, doubled after)

(Flareon fainted.)
Then Jenna Bush started using a bunch of 11 yr old curses.
Last edited by Shrapnel on Sat Nov 02, 2013 6:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Shrapnel »

Phineass Gorehound's Litwick used Smog.

I missed the dice rolling on that one, but it Posioned every opponent except Fascist and Doctor Strangelove, the Twin's Twins. (I'm going to let Darth explain all of that silliness.)

Currently, Phineass's player is taking a piss while we discuss... something. And now he's back.
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Post by Shrapnel »

It is now Sincha Zelig's turn.

He did... something.

Now Doctor Strangelove is no longer frozen, and Darth is saying I don't have to do a real time post-by-post rundown of the game, but I said I felt like it, so Darth...
:razz:
Some other stuff happened because I was insulting Darth on the internet.

We are now discussing Aspennie.

It's supposed to be the Bushes turn now. Supposedly.

Okay, we're now back in the game. Bush (George) runs towards me, but doesn't make it. Jenna also runs towards me, with a teddy bear made in China, and misses, so I don't take damage, but it did cut some of my hair off, to which Cuil screamed, "MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO GET IT THAT DIRTY AND GREASY!?"

Then I used Extrasensory on Jenna:
(Rolled 15, hit)

(Rolled 3d10+27 = 40 damage)
Lost hair: AVENGED
Last edited by Shrapnel on Sat Nov 02, 2013 7:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Shrapnel »

Phineass took no turn.

Zelig's Ratress Jack "The Kid Dropper" Kaplan used Assurance on Barbara, and did a total of 100 damage to her, killing her probably! (Okay, she's apparently alive, albeit unconscious and with a Ratress's hand through her chest.)
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Post by Shrapnel »

Dorf is going to attack well now we're talking about Jet Lee. Great.

Still talking about Jet Lee. Apparently the GM's favorite Jet Lee movie is Hero.

:sigh:

Okay, so Dorf uses Bubble Water Gun on George, doing 24 damage. He still lives.

But now I'm going to Bite him in the crotch!

Croconaw's jaw is now clamped on his crotch, and whenever George moves, it bites even deeper. JUSTICE.
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Post by Shrapnel »

It is now Phineass's Litwick's turn.

It uses Dark Pulse.

Hits on a natural 20, flinching and critting them.

Does a total of 76 damage to a large group.

3 of them are now dead, and George is limp in Croconaw's mouth.

Now we are going interrogate the lone survivor.

It's pretty safe to say that combat is over.

I'm sorry, it's not. There's two dudes left.
Last edited by Shrapnel on Sat Nov 02, 2013 7:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by Shrapnel »

NOW WE ARE TALKING ABOUT JEW'S SINGING ON HOLIDAYS! FUN!


Every Jewish holiday, according to our Jewish GM:

1. They came.

2. They killed us.

3. We beat them.

4. Let's eat.

And now Phineass's player said something about... nah, it's too gross.
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Post by Shrapnel »

Now Zelig is bitch-slapping Barbara, dealing 1d10+4+7 damage, rolling a two and hurting hand.

Barbara then bitch-slaps Zelig's hand in retaliation, dealing 17 damage from a really hard high-five.

Fascist is defrosted.

I used Extrasensory on Barbara, knocking her unconscious into Zelig's arms.

Now we've subdued Fascist. NOW combat is finally over.

We get 5400 EXP to be distributed across our Pokemon.

We also receive get a combined total $28,000 overall, with each of us getting $7000

Plus lots loot.
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

I apologize for Shrapnel's shenanigans, which beg a lot more questions than they answer because neither I nor he have provided what happened in the last two sessions before this one. Also it takes up a lot of space.

I didn't bother continuing this log because I doubted anyone was following this from lack of responses, and it's not worth recording to me in such a case. If anyone is interested, I'll start posting again but I'm not going to bother typing up things no one will read.
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