Being a good GM, the FAQ

Josh_Kablack · Post by **Josh_Kablack** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 2:08 am

Honestly, I'm probably only about 80% in agreement with PL here.

But rather than quibble, I'm gonna try to add a few, focusing more on out-of-game stuff.

90% of Success is Showing Up

This should be blindingly obvious - but in my experience, a lot of DMs miss it.You can have coolest story, the best setting ever, encyclopedic rules knowledge, superlative props for the game, and the perfect challenges for your PCs, but none of that matters if you don't actually show up to run the game when and where the players expect you to.

Generally you can expect players to cut you some slack if you miss one session with short/no notice and a good reason*, or didn't tell someone about a room or time change. Have that happen more than once or have it happen without good reason and you can bet that your most motivated players will attempt to find or start another game. And I shouldn't need to spell out what having the motivated players leave means to your game - at best you get stuck with the unmotivated ones.

But shit happens and nobody else is perfect, so you are gonna have a disaster ruin your plans now and then. The important thing is to have multiple channels of communication with your players. This is the dystopian future now kiddies: guys who sell your shoe size to strangers are heroes in blockbuster biopics, Google is watching your nosehair grow and your parents are paying upwards of $50 a month to have you carry those tumor-inducing tracers around. ( Edit: Yup.Tracers )So there's just no excuse for not calling, emailing, texting, twittering, posting, and quantum detangling each of your players and letting them know that you won't make it this time, but "we're still on for next week"

*With "good reason" limited to: Earthquake, hurricane, volcano, tsunami, plague, marriage, death of firstborn, mass rioting, kaiju and other events of that magnitude. New girl/boy friend does not count, unless you brought enough to share with the rest of your game group.

Logistics, Logistics, Logistics

If you ever attempt to organize anything ongoing involving multiple people meeting over a multiweek period, you will encounter difficulties - some people will not be able to attend all meetings, some people will have to leave town, the meeting room may not always be available when you need it to be. The nature of TTRPGs can make each of these difficulties especially problematic, and you need to prepare as best you can to meet them. A lot of really creative and knowledgeable DMs fall down here - but being a good DM means considering the real world as much as the game world.

The first thing you gotta do is *gasp* TALK TO YOUR PLAYERS *horror*.

Your players are all in your game as a form of entertainment and recreation - they are hoping to have FUN in it. Sadly, this means that it's going to be lower priority for most folks than a lot of non-fun things like classes, homework, jobs, family, tax returns and waiting for the damn plumber to show up. You are going to need to know each of your players real-life issues and prior commitments that could interfere with them being able to devote a 4-10 hour chunk of their week/month/afternoon to pretending to be a half-orc. If you have even a hunch that a given player may not be able to attend a given session DO NOT run an adventure that hinges on their character's abilities/personality/backstory - instead have something that can run with or without them. And on the flipside, DO NOT hold a grudge - I guarantee you that your player is more bummed about having to stay home with the sick kids than you were about missing the the half orc. So you should absolutely not rub their nose in it when they do come back to the game - that's a great way to lose players. I recommend that you should probably be ready to shine some extra spotlight on their half-orc when the player is able to attend again.

Now, sooner or later some of your players are going to leave your game. Even if you are the best DM in the world and your group is made up of the Care Bears who avoid any social strife and nobody ever wants to leave, sooner or later someone is going to graduate (Steve), get a job offer in Cleveland (Chris), decide to study abroad (Sonny), gonna have to move back in with mom (Bill), flee their child support payments (Joe), get arrested (Ron) or get shot in the head when a drug deal goes bad ("Ducky"). These all fall into the above category of things that are not fun, and are therefore more important than the fun that is your game. When you know about such things happening, try to give the character a great send-off in game - you can have them heroically sacrifice or ransom themselves to save the rest of the party or you can have them achieve their greatest personal goal and give up adventuring. But realistically sometimes you're gonna get blindsided by players leaving in a hurry - and there really is nothing you can do about that. Well at least nothing direct. You can't stop them, but you can and probably should try to replace them on occasion. TTRPGs are a small group activity, and as people leave the group, you will want to keep your eyes open for new people to join the group. If you are running a game, you should always be thinking about recruitment. You don't have to let everyone who wants to play in your game, and you shouldn't always turn everyone away - but you should be roughly able to maintain a stable group size that works for you and your gamer buddies.

The other really common issue you'll face as a DM is where to hold the game. You want somewhere that's not-too-loud so the group can hear each other, but not-too-quiet so you don't get kicked out if folks get excited. You'll probably want at least one large table-type surface and enough chairs for everyone. You may want your players to have easy access to a quicky mart / beer distributor / smoking area / place to plug in their laptop. You'll want it to be someplace everyone can get to reliably, and you'll want it to be somewhere that it's not a big deal if someone brings a friend-of-a-friend who might be a bit klepto along. When you find somewhere like that, please let me know where it is. In the meantime, you're stuck gaming somewhere like Joe's basement (which is cramped and smells cause he doesn't let the dog out enough), Molehalla (which roasts in the summer and freezes in the winter), Dan's apartment (which has only two chairs and is in the middle of nowhere) the library (where you have to camp out overnight to get a group study room and nobody can get excited) the cafeteria (which will have games of calvinball going on during your tense dungeoncrawl) or in a reserved room and the student union (which building management has been misplacing the reservations and kicking me out of for 17 years now). None of these are ideal, and at times they will all become unavailable for various reasons. A good DM has a backup plan for such eventualities. And to do that you should always always always be looking out for additional potential gamespaces. Get friendly with the guys at your game store - maybe they have tables you can use; help friends move - just to scope out their new attics; see if Brian's boss at the sub shop is cool with/won't notice him having a few friends in after hours, etc etc. Get creative here, because this one is always an issue.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 2:08 am

Psychic Robot wrote:
They are the types of dicks who use the words "Player entitlement" like it's a bad thing.
The DM is God. He's free to change rules or make things up as he pleases. Deal with it. If you don't like it, don't play; there's a free market on DMing.

Um... Wow you are dumb.

The DM is not god, he's a person at the able who runs the dungeon. Your claim that there exists a free market on DMs is directly contradictory to your claim that they are a god.

The DM can't change the rules or make things up as he pleases, because I've already excised from existence all such DMs by not playing with them leaving only the DMs who are not gods.

Not to mention that any god who can be persuaded that they are incorrect by logic is not deserving of the title, and many DMs, contrary to the "God hypothesis" are amendable to logic.

Psychic Robot · Post by **Psychic Robot** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 2:11 am

Kaelik wrote:The DM is not god, he's a person at the able who runs the dungeon. Your claim that there exists a free market on DMs is directly contradictory to your claim that they are a god.

The DM can't change the rules or make things up as he pleases, because I've already excised from existence all such DMs by not playing with them leaving only the DMs who are not gods.

Not to mention that any god who can be persuaded that they are incorrect by logic is not deserving of the title, and many DMs, contrary to the "God hypothesis" are amendable to logic.

Haha, this is the atheist version of humor. I get it now.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 2:20 am

Psychic Robot wrote:Haha, this is the atheist version of humor. I get it now.

As any non polytheist will tell you, "God" is omniscient as well as omnipotent, and as such, if a lowly player is capable of being correct, when a DM is incorrect, and convincing the DM of this via logic, then the DM is clearly not a god.

Why don't you ask William Lane Craig about whether God is capable of changing his mind?

Archmage · Post by **Archmage** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 2:55 am

Psychic Robot wrote:The DM is God. He's free to change rules or make things up as he pleases. Deal with it. If you don't like it, don't play; there's a free market on DMing.

I'm trying to figure out whether this is intended to be ironic or not and failing.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:29 am

Wow, stay classy PR. "DM is god" bullshit (when that was answered correctly in the first question) and free market rambling!

Psychic Robot · Post by **Psychic Robot** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:48 am

Sorry, I don't buy into that "player equality" bullshit. The DM puts the most work into the game out of everyone, and he's the rules arbitrator. If you don't like the way he's running things, leave or run your own game.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:57 am

Psychic Robot wrote:Sorry, I don't buy into that "player equality" bullshit. The DM puts the most work into the game out of everyone, and he's the rules arbitrator. If you don't like the way he's running things, leave or run your own game.

No one said the DM can't arbite the rules. They just said he doesn't get to be a dick and slap his cock in people's face while laughing about it.

Note that in my specific example "Yes, I am entitled to enjoy myself. Yes, I am entitled to design a character that does X within the rules, and then have that character actually do X, where X is his main shtick, the main shtick I explained to you when I showed you the character."

Which of those two things is not true? Is the DM allowed to prevent me from enjoying the game? Is the DM allowed to prevent me from doing X where he promised I could do X?

I mean fuck, the obvious corollary to "Haha, no you can't cast Kelpstrand into an AMF even though you showed me the exact rules for how that works when you showed me the character and I said it was cool." being bullshit is: "Haha, no you can't cast Kelpstrand into an AMF even though you showed me the exact rules for how that works when you showed me the character and I said it was not cool." is acceptable.

So far, I've come down for "Right to enjoy self." and "Right to not be lied to." So which one of those are players not entitled to?

Psychic Robot · Post by **Psychic Robot** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 4:01 am

Is the DM allowed to prevent me from enjoying the game? Is the DM allowed to prevent me from doing X where he promised I could do X?

Yes. On both counts. It is an unfortunate thing, is it not? A dick move, of course, and something I would not do, but it is well within the DM's "rights" to do so.

"Right to enjoy self." and "Right to not be lied to." So which one of those are players not entitled to?

Rights. You are talking about "rights" in a goddamn tabletop game. Think that one over for a minute.

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 4:04 am

I'm actually halfway on the DM is god thing...

The DM is the final arbiter of the game. So long as the players show up and agree to play, it's the DM's show.

That being said, the players have the ability to not show up and/or not play. And if the DM isn't capable of running a game that keeps players coming back to the table, then it doesn't matter that s/he has the title of DM.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 4:04 am

Psychic Robot wrote:Rights. You are talking about "rights" in a goddamn tabletop game. Think that one over for a minute.

Um... so? Why is it a bad thing to talk about rights in a tabletop game?

Rights are just arbitrary things we agree to grant each other before engaging in social interaction.

Tabletop, a kind of social interaction that can be engaged in or not, is a perfect example of the situations in which talking about rights is perfectly normal.

Or do you think Rights are magic supernatural grants from God, and thus you are confused?

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 4:10 am

Maj wrote:I'm actually halfway on the DM is god thing...

The DM is the final arbiter of the game. So long as the players show up and agree to play, it's the DM's show.

That being said, the players have the ability to not show up and/or not play. And if the DM isn't capable of running a game that keeps players coming back to the table, then it doesn't matter that s/he has the title of DM.

I've been on the receiving end of the DM is God thing and I know exactly how it went bad: the DM went crazy with it and literally said "I don't have to justify myself to you" when challenged on some dickery. He put his want for a powertrip ahead of making an enjoyable game for the players.

The DM -is- the final arbiter of the game. But they shouldn't get the idea that being the final arbiter of the game means any dickery they pull is by definition acceptable.

Josh_Kablack · Post by **Josh_Kablack** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 4:13 am

"God" is a really really bad metaphor for what the position of Mr. Cavern actually entails. It's a bad metaphor because it encourages MCs to behave as if they are above reproach and can smite people with no repercussions.

I much prefer the theatrical metaphor of - you are the Producer and Director and a Co-author. You get authority over the final cut, but it's your job to bring things together in a way that tells an enjoyable tale and to do it in a way that makes everyone involved shine.

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 4:18 am

Why can't we just have a huggable dictator or something?

Josh_Kablack · Post by **Josh_Kablack** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 4:21 am

Dictator works as a valid metaphor too.

You have absolute authority so long as you can maintain a cult of personality or a forceful enough presence to fend off the coup d'etat that will occur when you show weakness. Be warned that some of your players may try to escape without the proper papers so you'll have to seal your borders and be on constant guard against thoughtcrime.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 4:22 am

Maj wrote:Why can't we just have a huggable dictator or something?

Hence Mister Cavern!

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 4:34 am

Thinking back on it...

...Yes, the DM in question did subscribe to the "DM is God" mentality.

I like the Mister Cavern idea better

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 4:46 am

Yeah, since I'm starting a game soon I'm DEFINITELY telling my players to address me as Mister Cavern and to think of me as a huggable dictator.

quanta · Post by **quanta** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 5:13 am

Although this isn't really the topic, I have a related question.

What's a good way to handle DMing duties when no one has the time or desire to be the DM full time? And what's a horrible bad idea of how to handle this?

Examples: Run only one-shots or mini campaigns. Rotate DMing over the same story. Go play a different goddamn game.

Similarly, sometimes the person who wants to DM will not be the person with the most rules expertise. For example, I like grokking rules sets and looking for exploits, but I try to avoid being the DM, because I don't always enjoy it. Conversely, my girlfriend likes DMing because she likes playing the monsters and designing environments, but although she knows the rules, she's never going to know them backwards and forwards. Shit has to work roughly as it's supposed to, which often doesn't actually happen. How would you prioritize the DM guiding the story vs. rules or abilities that might throw a wrench in the game because the DM didn't plan around X, and if you allow X there isn't much/any shit left to actually play tonight? I'm okay with rolling with the rules a lot of the time (I don't really care if some puzzle or something I made won't get used), but I'm going to be in trouble if I've got no remaining back up plans.

And "The DM should prepare more" is a nice answer in theory, but not so great in practice. It's not hard to fuck up even in games that have tightly defined player abilities.

Also, does anyone have some good ways of handling magical tea party type stuff or character preparation or planning before the actual session? I have some ideas, but not all seem practical to me or like they'll feel connected to the actual tabletop playing. Just any ways in general to help get more out of gaming in less time?

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 5:25 am

I am a big fan of just asking the rules lawyer the damn rules, and saying things like "Hey, fuck you construct with Fast Healing 5 at level 7?" "Sure, go ahead." type stuff.

But that's because I am the rules Lawyer, and I don't have any trouble separating the metagame. (True fact, all rules lawyers are either really good at separating the metagame, or don't actually care, because you can't just forget every monster you've ever read.)

Zinegata · Post by **Zinegata** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 5:30 am

Maj wrote:Why can't we just have a huggable dictator or something?

Because apparently too many DMs go "Ich Bin Ein Gamemaster!"?

Huggable dictator would indeed be a cute way to describe most DMs though.

Username17 · Post by **Username17** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 6:17 am

What is it with theists looking at any authority at all and immediately invoking gods? I mean fuck, is your manager at Wendy's a god? He has some authority for the period when you are with them.

For fuck's sake, the fact that you have more responsibility and power for the duration of the game does not make "God". It does not even make you a god. You're still just some dude. A dude who happens to be trusted with some responsibilities for the duration of a table top game.

Kevin wrote:There's fuckin' room to move as a fry cook. I could be manager in two years. King. God.

-Username17

Sashi · Post by **Sashi** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 6:59 am

Psychic Robot wrote:Sorry, I don't buy into that "player equality" bullshit. The DM puts the most work into the game out of everyone, and he's the rules arbitrator. If you don't like the way he's running things, leave or run your own game.

The ability of players to leave is exactly why they are equal in power to the DM. It's far harder for a DM to replace lost players than it is for a player to find a new gaming group, or a gaming group to replace its DM unless that DM is good at making the players happy. DM quality is literally defined by the opinion his players have of him.

The only way to maintain your status as DM of a group is to keep your players happy enough that they don't leave or replace you. The sad fact is that DMing (as you have said) takes the most work of any position in the gaming group, and gamers want to game, so the bare minimum for players not leaving or rising up in revolt is sickeningly low and lots of abusive DM's abuse that low bar and a dominant personality to masturbate all over their players.

Just because the DM has the power to say "After dropping a piece of parchment on the ground you are arrested for littering, stripped of all your items with a Bugbear named Bubba who violates you anally for hours" doesn't mean that he is playing a game of limbo with said bare minimum (unless of course your players like masochistic prison rape fantasies, in which case you run the risk of losing your players if you don't arbitrarily rape them all the time).

Zinegata · Post by **Zinegata** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 7:09 am

... People here clearly tend to overreact whenever "God" is mentioned.

Particularly given that the current context isn't religious. At all.

So how about we discuss within the context (DM is God within the fantasy world he/she is running, like what Sashi is criticizing) as opposed to turning this into a bashfest against people who happen to believe in a higher power?

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 7:17 am

Sashi wrote:in which case you run the risk of losing your players if you don't arbitrarily rape them all the time

I bet that doesn't get said very often.