Annoying Questions I'd Like Answered...

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:28 am

Okay, so I really need to be better at telling people to fuck off*. If I'm walking somewhere and someone tries to stop me to sell me something or whatever, I can just look ahead and keep walking - or maybe say "Sorry, I don't speak English" (in English. In a British accent).

But if I'm not walking and someone approaches me, it would be terribly rude to just walk off and ignore them, never mind that they're being rude in the first place.

So long story short, I ended up inviting (in the sense that he asked if he could visit later to talk) a Mormon missionary to my house, and we chatted and stuff, and he hopes to convert me to his faith. I know, if he knew certain specifics he would realise it would be futile as I LIVE IN SIN, and yes, I make Richard Dawkins look like a fucking Buddhist.

Well, a pair of them are visiting again tomorrow night. I feel bad about "leading them on" as such**. Is there an easy way to let them down, rather than continuing this charade (and waste of their time - I have buckets of time to waste)? Preferably without faking my own death.

Ideally I'd like to not cause offence or anything, but chances are the best I can manage is to disappoint them. And no, I haven't yet been flippant and asked about the magic underwear, or if it's true I can have up to nine husbands.

*In real life. On the Internet, I am well known for it.

**I am well aware there are those who feel "It's what they get for intruding on you" or "Better this than they use this time to speak with potential converts and do manage to change more to their ways". The religion may beis vile, yes, but they seem like very nice young men who just want to help people, even if they happen to have crazy beliefs.

Count Arioch the 28th · Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:35 am

I would respectfully tell them that you're not interested. Be polite but firm, then be firm.

Their beliefs might be batshit insane, but they might be nice people. My experience with mormon missionaries is that they won't pursue you if you tell them they're not interested, but it's literally part of their religion to talk to you as long as you'll allow them to.

Blasted · Post by **Blasted** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:35 am

Arrange a meeting with others at the same time. "sorry, I double booked you, no I don't want to meet at another time."
Extra points if you've arranged a BDSM party, demon worship or Jehovah's Witnesses.

Usually a polite "Thanks, but not interested." works, especially if you just keep walking while talking fast. I commute to the city by train and you get one spruker or other at the station every day.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:55 am

If you're feeling guilty about blowing them off, give them Coke. The liquid kind. And then say you've got to get to the hospital and you'll certainly appreciate their prayers for your aunt, who's having her stomach pumped after someone snuck a blue-ring octopus tentacle into her seafood salad, but now's a really bad time and you really need to go somewhere in, like, an hour and have to get stuff together for an overnight. Act like you forgot they were coming.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:55 am

I'll do that, then. Thanks, I'm really not good at social stuff.

And normally I can keep walking, but I had just grabbed something from a vending machine and it took a bit to get my wallet in order and gather the drink, what with being one-armed.

Count Arioch the 28th · Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:57 am

It's something that gets easier the more you do it. I've been having my own adventures with telling people to piss off myself. My mother has seen how I act on the internet, and has told me I should act like that in real life.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:58 am

Koumei wrote:I'll do that, then. Thanks, I'm really not good at social stuff.

I'm not either, but I'm a pretty proficient liar. And I feel a little guilty about that, yes.

Edit: Don't Mormons not like caffeine? Icewater or lemonade might be a safer bet.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 4:30 am

Koumei wrote:Okay, so I really need to be better at telling people to fuck off*. If I'm walking somewhere and someone tries to stop me to sell me something or whatever, I can just look ahead and keep walking - or maybe say "Sorry, I don't speak English" (in English. In a British accent).

But if I'm not walking and someone approaches me, it would be terribly rude to just walk off and ignore them, never mind that they're being rude in the first place.

So long story short, I ended up inviting (in the sense that he asked if he could visit later to talk) a Mormon missionary to my house, and we chatted and stuff, and he hopes to convert me to his faith. I know, if he knew certain specifics he would realise it would be futile as I LIVE IN SIN, and yes, I make Richard Dawkins look like a fucking Buddhist.

Well, a pair of them are visiting again tomorrow night. I feel bad about "leading them on" as such**. Is there an easy way to let them down, rather than continuing this charade (and waste of their time - I have buckets of time to waste)? Preferably without faking my own death.

Ideally I'd like to not cause offence or anything, but chances are the best I can manage is to disappoint them. And no, I haven't yet been flippant and asked about the magic underwear, or if it's true I can have up to nine husbands.

*In real life. On the Internet, I am well known for it.

**I am well aware there are those who feel "It's what they get for intruding on you" or "Better this than they use this time to speak with potential converts and do manage to change more to their ways". The religion may beis vile, yes, but they seem like very nice young men who just want to help people, even if they happen to have crazy beliefs.

well, there's always my favourite method for getting rid of mormons...

Though the last time I actually had to deal with a couple I basically just took the route of "be somewhat offensively dismissive of their religion."

cthulhu · Post by **cthulhu** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 4:42 am

I just ignore people in the street I don't want to talk to, even if they try talking to me quite directly.

It's antisocial, but meh.

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 6:23 am

Tell them the truth. It's super easy to dismiss missionaries out of hand because they're religious and they're annoying.

But as a person who goes to church, I hear a lot of stories from peeps who just got back from their missions. One common thread... They're scared to death and people give them the runaround all the time.

Seriously, how would you like a volunteer position where you walk up to a total stranger and ask them if they're willing to let you explain your belief system?

So tell them the truth... You've spent time online talking with a Mormon (from Washington, USA), and you're just not interested. Be firm about that point.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 7:39 am

Maj wrote:Seriously, how would you like a volunteer position where you walk up to a total stranger and ask them if they're willing to let you explain your belief system?

I wouldn't, thus I wouldn't join a church that mandates it. If they can't handle it, they aren't forced to do it, so they can put their big boy pants on, and deal with peoples' reactions to their intrusion and hubris.

Draco_Argentum · Post by **Draco_Argentum** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:04 am

Koumei wrote:But if I'm not walking and someone approaches me, it would be terribly rude to just walk off and ignore them, never mind that they're being rude in the first place.

Its incredibly important to remember that these sort of people are abusing your desire to seem polite in order to be given time to give their spiel. You should do your part to help stop the rot of politeness by not being taken in. Every time someone is accosted by charity/religion/advertisers it makes them less likely to be polite to people who actually deserve it.

Chamomile · Post by **Chamomile** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 1:18 pm

I love how someone asks for help on how to let someone down gently and immediately gets at least as many responses suggesting she offend the party in question as much as possible instead. Because tolerance is overrated.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 1:39 pm

Passive-aggressive humor aside, just be truthful about it. Sure, they may be disappointed about showing up and then being instantly let down, but what's worse:

Having the time it took to get there and back wasted, or

Having the time it took to get there, give you a spiel that won't work, and then the drive back wasted?

If it's a foregone conclusion, just save them the time. You're actually being nicer to them that way.

CatharzGodfoot · Post by **CatharzGodfoot** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:43 pm

Koumei wrote:So long story short, I ended up inviting (in the sense that he asked if he could visit later to talk) a Mormon missionary to my house, and we chatted and stuff, and he hopes to convert me to his faith. I know, if he knew certain specifics he would realise it would be futile as I LIVE IN SIN, and yes, I make Richard Dawkins look like a fucking Buddhist.

Well, a pair of them are visiting again tomorrow night. I feel bad about "leading them on" as such**. Is there an easy way to let them down, rather than continuing this charade (and waste of their time - I have buckets of time to waste)? Preferably without faking my own death.

My wife has a friend who did this. She pretty much spent the entire time arguing with the Mormons (in a civil fashion), and then invited them back again. She never shifted her view from Atheist/Lutheran/Lesbian, but apparently the Mormons were actually pretty nice aside from the whole religious nutcase bit.

So, don't lead them on, but consider the fact that some Mormons actually enjoy honest theological debate and divergent perspectives, even if their ultimate goal is conversion.

sabs · Post by **sabs** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 5:01 pm

wait, Atheist/Lutheran? WHAT?

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 5:27 pm

Chamomile wrote:I love how someone asks for help on how to let someone down gently and immediately gets at least as many responses suggesting she offend the party in question as much as possible instead. Because tolerance is overrated.

Koumei wrote:I really need to be better at telling people to fuck off

Emphasis added. She may want to be non-confrontational, but inoffensive does not seem to be the goal.

For what it's worth, I do somewhat regret the line I gave a couple mormons at a bus stop a few years ago, more because it seems incredibly dumb in retrospect, but I don't take kindly to people telling me I'm living in sin, and will burn in hell if I don't accept their personal sky fairy.

PoliteNewb · Post by **PoliteNewb** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 5:36 pm

Prak_Anima wrote:
Chamomile wrote:I love how someone asks for help on how to let someone down gently and immediately gets at least as many responses suggesting she offend the party in question as much as possible instead. Because tolerance is overrated.

Koumei wrote:I really need to be better at telling people to fuck off
Emphasis added. She may want to be non-confrontational, but inoffensive does not seem to be the goal.

Really?

Koumei wrote:Well, a pair of them are visiting again tomorrow night. I feel bad about "leading them on" as such**. Is there an easy way to let them down, rather than continuing this charade (and waste of their time - I have buckets of time to waste)? Preferably without faking my own death.

Ideally I'd like to not cause offence or anything, but chances are the best I can manage is to disappoint them.

prak wrote:For what it's worth, I do somewhat regret the line I gave a couple mormons at a bus stop a few years ago, more because it seems incredibly dumb in retrospect, but I don't take kindly to people telling me I'm living in sin, and will burn in hell if I don't accept their personal sky fairy.

I fully support your right to be rude to people who tell you you're a sinner who will burn in hell...not least because mormons are supposed to believe that everyone is a sinner (themselves included) and that not accepting their dude does not cause you to burn in hell. So you needn't regret anything there, IMO.

But that's not really the situation Koumei is in. Most missionaries are pretty good about not condemning people...it is totally their job to be polite, even if you're not interested.

K · Post by K » Wed Aug 10, 2011 6:16 pm

My mom uses Mormon missionaries as unpaid garden labor while they do their best to convert her. She usually gets 3-4 hours out of them before they give up.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 6:30 pm

sabs wrote:wait, Atheist/Lutheran? WHAT?

I almost asked about that too. I'm assuming he means raised Lutheran, became atheist. At least, that makes the most sense to me, since that's pretty much what I was/am (not the lesbian part, of course).

CatharzGodfoot · Post by **CatharzGodfoot** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 7:18 pm

RobbyPants wrote:
sabs wrote:wait, Atheist/Lutheran? WHAT?
I almost asked about that too. I'm assuming he means raised Lutheran, became atheist. At least, that makes the most sense to me, since that's pretty much what I was/am (not the lesbian part, of course).

Raised Lutheran, works with a church charity group, and goes to church on a semi-monthly basis. She likes most of the people in her church, and she likes helping people out. Why give that up just because she doesn't believe in God?

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 7:53 pm

CatharzGodfoot wrote:Raised Lutheran, works with a church charity group, and goes to church on a semi-monthly basis. She likes most of the people in her church, and she likes helping people out. Why give that up just because she doesn't believe in God?

I suppose I'm venturing into No True Scotsman territory, but if she doesn't believe, I don't know that I'd consider her Lutheran, but more of acting Lutheran or hanging out with Lutherans.

I still go to church way more than I want because of my wife.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Mon Aug 15, 2011 6:19 am

{former belief}/Atheist is actually fairly common terminology, I think. Generally it implies "no longer believes, but was brought up as {X} and either holds parts of it, or it's a useful shorthand for other stuff"

New question: Is there a way in VLC Media Player, and in first gen ipod minis to even out sounds that were recorded at different volumes? I watch movies on my computer when housemates are asleep and it's annoying having to turn the speakers down for explosions and up for speech so I don't wake them up. The ipod is for at work, but same annoyance having to run to the radio to turn it down for one song, and up for another.

shadzar · Post by **shadzar** » Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:47 am

seeing the volume could be in part the encoding method (MP3, CDA, etc) you are pretty much at the mercy of the encoder unless you use something with a built in equalizer that lets you adjust the range of frequencies up or down, same as with TV programs where the commercial is ALWAYS louder than the show itself....

would be nice if there was some sort of uniform decision for that for ALL audio though so the baseline was one thing, and when you adjusted volume for one thing every show increased or decreased based on that baseline so the volume is more selectable...

You could always re-encode the audio for what you are using VCL for....

CatharzGodfoot · Post by **CatharzGodfoot** » Mon Aug 15, 2011 3:10 pm

Prak_Anima wrote:New question: Is there a way in VLC Media Player, and in first gen ipod minis to even out sounds that were recorded at different volumes? I watch movies on my computer when housemates are asleep and it's annoying having to turn the speakers down for explosions and up for speech so I don't wake them up. The ipod is for at work, but same annoyance having to run to the radio to turn it down for one song, and up for another.

Replaygain metadata will even out the volume without messing with the dynamic range. Dynamic range compression will actually reduce the amplitude difference between the loudest and quietest sounds.