If ____ Ran For President...

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Ancient History
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If ____ Ran For President...

Post by Ancient History »

Random thing in the Birther thread got me thinking what alternate candidates would focus on as their campaign issues...

If Unicron ran for president, at least we'd see a coherent focus on energy policy.

If Unicorn ran for president, at least we'd see a focus on sexual education and prevention among teenagers.
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Username17
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Post by Username17 »

I think I would like to see the genuine national discussion on violence and home invasions that would come from a Little Red Riding Hood campaign for the presidency.

-Username17
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ishy
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Post by ishy »

If Mearls ran for president .......
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RobbyPants
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Post by RobbyPants »

If Batman ran for president, we could cut down on crime.
ishy wrote:If Mearls ran for president .......
...he could start the ball rolling on really interesting legislation and then make everyone else finish it.
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Post by koz »

If Frank Trollman ran for president.....
Everything I learned about DnD, I learned from Frank Trollman.
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fectin
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Post by fectin »

...then the national debates would hinge on how many cocks to a barrel.
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

If Frank Trollman ran for president, then I could run in the next election, and everyone would think my uncivilness tame in comparison.

I want to see Princess Celestia run for president.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
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You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Chamomile
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Post by Chamomile »

If Frank Trollman ran for president.....
He'd have the exact same level and type of support as Ron Paul, for completely different reasons.
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Cynic
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Post by Cynic »

Prak_Anima wrote:
I want to see Princess Celestia run for president.

One the amount of bronies mean that there are issues with bestiality. Marriage is between man and woman not bronie and magical flying pony princesses. Also, she is royalty. She'd have to renounce that...

Plus the whole girl thing.

Geez.
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Whatever
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Post by Whatever »

If Nobody ran for president:

Nobody keeps their campaign promises!
Nobody belongs in the White House!
Nobody has real solutions for the economy!
Nobody can deal with international terrorism!
Nobody is a "True American"!
Nobody will fix the dysfunctional mess in Washington!

I could go on all day, but the bottom line is this: Nobody needs your vote, so vote for Nobody!
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RiotGearEpsilon
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Post by RiotGearEpsilon »

Princess Celestia would never be able to cope with a bicameral legislature. The congress would eat her alive.
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

The congress is primarily comprised of men old enough that they remember the depression. They may well literally eat her alive.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Post by hyzmarca »

RiotGearEpsilon wrote:Princess Celestia would never be able to cope with a bicameral legislature. The congress would eat her alive.
She'd probably just kill them all and reestablish her monarchical rule. I mean, she exiled her own sister to the moon. Exiling a bunch of congressmen to the moon shouldn't be a problem, either. The fact that humans can't breath up there isn't her problem.
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

I would love to see congress exiled to the moon. Maybe she'll trap the senate in stone statues.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Lago PARANOIA
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Post by Lago PARANOIA »

I'd love for a Presidential candidate to just straight up tell the American people that he's aware that most of them are not actually voting for a Head of State but instead a big, manly, assertive daddy who will make the bad things go away without them having to think about or work for it. Therefore what they SHOULD be doing is offering Abdullah the Presidency because he might actually be able to do something meaningful about gas prices and terrorism. So they should go fuck themselves.

And also to call out the Naderite slacktivists' only caring about good government during the Presidential race because they're exactly the kind of assholes he was talking about.
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In short, your entire post is dismissive of not merely my intelligence, but my agency. And I don't mean agency as a player within one of your games, I mean my agency as a person. You do not want me to be informed when I make the fundamental decisions of deciding whether to join your game or buying your rules system.
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