POKEYMANS thread

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 3:05 am

What specifically do you mean by fakemons? Things which are alluded to existing as Pokémon but in fact do not? "Adding our own Pokémon to the game, as opposed to all the other games which totally stuck with just the base 151 Pokémon and certainly didn't add more, no siree"?

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 3:12 am

Koumei wrote:What specifically do you mean by fakemons? Things which are alluded to existing as Pokémon but in fact do not? "Adding our own Pokémon to the game, as opposed to all the other games which totally stuck with just the base 151 Pokémon and certainly didn't add more, no siree"?

I assume the latter, because that's what happens in the game. Spoilers below:

Part of the villain's plan involves summoning a creature that is essentially Arceus' proxy, called Divavaeus or something like that (see the screenshot in my previous post). I assume (I haven't reached it yet) that this is intended so you can awaken Arceus and have yours fight the fake one.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 3:48 am

Koumei wrote:What specifically do you mean by fakemons? Things which are alluded to existing as Pokémon but in fact do not? "Adding our own Pokémon to the game, as opposed to all the other games which totally stuck with just the base 151 Pokémon and certainly didn't add more, no siree"?

I was referring specifically to fan-made Pokémon.

Because my last few experiences with fan-made stuff was shit like Pokémon Quartz and Kiss Players. And Pokegirls. And Dinobot's Old Technology. And Kiss Players.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 5:19 am

As opposed to the perfectly reasonable Wobbuffet, Klefki, Klinklang, Sudowoodo, Cloyster, Roggenrola, BellendBeldum...

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 12:37 pm

I never said that official Pokemon were always great.

But I mean... look at this shit.

Nothing Nintendo has done is that... horrifying.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 1:34 pm

They're just all the regular ones from the first X games, drawn by someone with no hands. Or eyes.

I'll admit the mix-up things are stupid (although combining just the names is awesome simply for Vulpix + Vibrava = Vulva and Vibrava + Exeggutor = Vibrator and I need to grow up). But happy as I am to speak ill of Smogon, they're community-created pokemon are pretty cool. I suppose you could make the argument that they're the exception, and the result of a long process for every single one.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 1:42 pm

Shrapnel wrote:Nothing Nintendo has done is that... horrifying.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 1:54 pm

I win.

Meikle641 · Post by **Meikle641** » Sun Oct 26, 2014 1:08 am

Shrapnel wrote:

I win.

What is that, Manbearpig?

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Sun Oct 26, 2014 1:11 am

SWAP.BEAR!

Really. Quartz was just fucked up.

Surgo · Post by **Surgo** » Sun Oct 26, 2014 5:41 am

The CAPmons from Smogon are actually totally awesome. Part of it helps that they have some really good artists behind them.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Tue Oct 28, 2014 6:01 am

Speaking of fakemon, I just found out what the deal with Divaevus (the fakemon that got sand in Shrapnel's vagina) is, and it's actually a pretty good backstory:

Essentially, when Arceus was creating the universe and had literal God Mode, it possessed a special Plate--the Divine Plate. Once it finished creating everything, it shed the plate, which due to its amount of power, essentially became its own Pokemon with crazy reality-warping powers. This does explain why Arceus isn't capable of just creating universes at will (at least without plot devices) anymore, and what the deal with the Plates are (they're filling the slot that held Arceus' divinity, which is presumably why they change its type--its original type was "Creator Deity".)

And on the topic of Omicron, Zeus is the first genre-savvy Pokemon villain. Shame he's a fan-made character.

[the next line reads "the world," but I forgot to take a cap of it]

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:09 am

Correction: The fakemon that got sand in my shenis, thank you very much.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Fri Oct 31, 2014 3:08 am

I've been playing quite a lot of Omicron lately, and something that I've been focusing on is upgrading the Secret Base.

One of the upgrades you can get for it is to have the various gym leaders of the game appear in your base so that you can rematch them. They have six Pokemon instead of four or whatever, and their team is Lv. 60+.

Because I was feeling cocky, I felt that I could take on the Ghost-type leader (a kid named Graham) with a Lv. 45 Zoroark. I did manage to beat him, but it was incredibly close. I beat his last Pokemon, a Gengar, with very little health left. But do y'know what the little shit did? He used fucking Destiny Bond before I struck the final blow.

I now hate the little fuck with a passion, but since I can't physically harm a fictional character, and since writing angry letters to the game designers would be akin to pissing in the wind, I am now going to insult Graham in various languages. And to Nintendo, too, for many grievances that I have gone over before. (Apologies to the native speakers of those languages if they happen to be mangled, as I the only language I speak is Bostonian.)

English:
Fuck you, you fucking bastard.

Japanese:
あなたクソ野郎、あなたをファック。

Spanish:
Vete a la mierda, maldito bastardo.

Maltese:
Fuck inti, inti bagħal fucking.

Italian:
Vaffanculo, fottuto bastardo.

Swahili:
Kutomba wewe, wewe fucking haramu.

Portuguese:
Foda-se, você filho da puta.

Haitian Creole:
Fuck ou, ou mèrdik bata.

Czech:
Seru na vás, ty zkurvenej bastard.

Russian:
Пошел на хуй, вы, блин, сволочь.

Icelandic:
Ríða þér, þú bölvaður fantur.

01000010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00111010 :
01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100010 01100001 01110011 01110100 01100001 01110010 01100100 00101110

Lorem Ipsum:
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet.

Cybertronian:

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Fri Oct 31, 2014 3:21 am

The only fan-made Pokémon game I'd be willing to play would be one where it's about you being part of Team Rocket. Not Aqua, Magma, Galaxy, Plasma or Fashionista, but Rocket. You'd need to have the freedom to go to different places and do different dumb plans, and ideally, the Legendaries would be as plot-centric as they were in the first games (ie not at all).

Maybe just make it first generation pokemon only (and any evolutions of them like Politoed and Blissey) but provide Mega-Evolutions for every fucking one.

You wouldn't have a Sekrit Base, you'd have a shitty office (with a low quality bed in it) to start with, and as you complete "villainous goals of no determinable effect", it gradually upgrades until you have a flying deluxe hotel to yourself.

...actually if Nintendo released that I'd buy a 3DS again just for that.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Fri Oct 31, 2014 3:54 am

And if they threw in player customization again, I'd even stop swearing at them in binary!

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Fri Oct 31, 2014 4:35 am

Koumei wrote:The only fan-made Pokémon game I'd be willing to play would be one where it's about you being part of Team Rocket. Not Aqua, Magma, Galaxy, Plasma or Fashionista, but Rocket. You'd need to have the freedom to go to different places and do different dumb plans, and ideally, the Legendaries would be as plot-centric as they were in the first games (ie not at all).

Maybe just make it first generation pokemon only (and any evolutions of them like Politoed and Blissey) but provide Mega-Evolutions for every fucking one.

You wouldn't have a Sekrit Base, you'd have a shitty office (with a low quality bed in it) to start with, and as you complete "villainous goals of no determinable effect", it gradually upgrades until you have a flying deluxe hotel to yourself.

...actually if Nintendo released that I'd buy a 3DS again just for that.

That sounds fucking awesome, and I would totally play it.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Thu Nov 06, 2014 12:33 am

I was listening to various Pokémon battle themes, and I got to thinking... what battle theme would I have? Y'know, if I was like a Champion or some such.

Personally, I think the top five for me would be:

1. Gen II Champion theme
2. Miror B.'s theme
3. Dusknoir's theme from Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of T/D/S
4. Deoxy's theme (yes, I'm counting Legendary themes as well)
5. Arceus' theme

What about other people? What music from the Pokémon series (any music, including shit from spin-offs and whatnot) would you have as your epic battle theme?

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Thu Nov 06, 2014 3:20 am

Lavender Town. Then they'd all go mad and kill themselves.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Thu Nov 13, 2014 9:10 am

Having gotten further into the game, I would like to just say one thing:

FUCK FAIRY TYPES.

I mean. Ok, sure, part of that is the fact that I'm trying to train up an Axew, and when a fairy type pops up, I have to switch out. And I can't switch to my current highest level pokemon, Hawlucha. So, fuck fairy types.

But more than that... there's no fucking theme. It was just "Hey, we need to balance things out a bit. Lets take all the cutesy pokemon, let them curb stomp dragons and make them weak to poison as a tacit balance, and we can call them fairies, because we don't know fuck all about fairies except what we see in the children's toy aisle."

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Thu Nov 13, 2014 10:10 am

Well they're weak against Steel because Cold Iron. And that's way more relevant than Steel, Ice and Rock being weak against getting punched in half. So already, they're doing better than many depictions of faeries, and seeing as faeries aren't real actual creatures, I don't see why anyone needs to get a bug up their arse about "it not being an accurate portrayal of how fairies totally are".

In other news, if you already have a proper dragon type (which you do), you don't really have an excuse for not having something that can deal with fairies. You could (and should) have started with a Fire type after all, which resists Fairy attacks (and lands Super-Effective hits on the tricky Steel-Fairy dual-types).

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Thu Nov 13, 2014 10:57 am

Mostly the fairy type annoys me because a bunch of them could just be normal types. In fact, all the pure fairy types that existed prior to the type were pure normals, and Jigglypuff et al. was also pure normal and just gained the Fairy type. I'd almost be ok with them saying "fuck it," and replacing Normal with Fairy and resorting the normal types--make tauros a ground type, make ratata a dark type, etc.

And yes, I started with the fox, and have a couple proper dragons, Axew and Gabite at least. I also have ...the thing with the shell pompador. Oh, and a trapinch. That's something I really like about XY, and must begrudgingly accept fairies for allowing, the early access to dragons.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Fri Nov 14, 2014 2:11 am

...shell pompadour? What?

You might notice that all those "previously pure Normal" sucked a massive load of dick. Now nobody is taking Wigglytuff to a tournament or anything, but when you're using it to wander through the main game because it's cute [citation needed] or something, it at least isn't as awful.

I really wish Fairy had existed in B2W2, you'd be able to do the "one pokemon, solo the entire Elite 5" challenge so easily. >Fighting, >Dark, >Dragon

But yeah, complaining that the dragon you captured early can't curbstomp the whole game on its own doesn't affect me, given the first game lets you choose Charmander as a starter and then the first two gyms are Water and Rock.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Fri Nov 14, 2014 2:17 am

Once you get it, teach Axew Poison Jab, and you'll never have to worry about Fairy types again. You can buy the TM at the Shalour City PokéMart.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Fri Nov 14, 2014 2:21 am

Ok, more of a shell mullet, but I couldn't for the life of me remember Bagon's name

Maybe I'm just irritated by the Fairy type because I never liked most of the cutesy pokemon, and the ones I did, I typically liked for some reason beyond "it's cute" (like Pachirisu. Squirrels are inherently funny, possibly just because I'm a magic player, and squirrels that can give you lethal electric shocks are even better).

Good tip on Poison Jab, Shrapnel.