Teleportation Spell Question

Meikle641 · Post by **Meikle641** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 1:13 am

Seems a bit of a waste of a thread, but I'm not all that knowledgeable of spells in D&D (I play psionics). The dudes in my group are alright, but there's a shitload of spells printed and I'm not wading through if I don't have to.

Basically, I was wondering what spells there are to retrieve objects (namely corpses) from afar with teleportation or summoning effects.

Are there any? Because we have some bodies we'd like to recover safely. Otherwise it'll involve clearing a dungeon of plothax swarms of zergling like beasts.

I have a character, Millicent 'Milly' d'Cannith, an adopted orphan from Eberron, in a Planescape setting. Recently our party has become involved in the war against the Quori, and my character realises that her old monestary may be in some big trouble, since we figure this one Quori was reading our minds when we slept (Plot powers, lol)

So we go to the place and it's a big trap. Illusions and some magically controlled animated undead. Basically, it started with a headtrip ("Who are you? We never heard of a girl named Milly living here."), and got weirder (claiming not know her adopted father, or the old master at arms, etc).

We end up getting invited in to get things cleared up. They say her father did exist, but he died decades ago. We ask to see his tomb, and our Dread Necro gets permission to use Speak With Dead on the body. More headtrips, including it saying Milly killed him (ends up being clarified slightly). Then the illusion fails as the truth is brought to light...Revealing them to be surrounded by zombies, and a manifested Quori in the room.

We're stuck, the door filled with stone, and surrounded by enemies. My character snaps at the sight of her father raised as a corpse, and knowing her entire family is now dead (as far as she knows) thanks to her. Cue her going berserk with her chainsword and psychic powers, including striking down the abomination her father has become.

She gets struck down by plothax Cha draining beam, and we lose a part member and two pets (flesh golem and boneclaw), and eventually the Kalashtar from Ysgard we came with. We then Planeshift out, and my character was in a coma, and was catatonic for a bit.

CatharzGodfoot · Post by **CatharzGodfoot** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 1:28 am

Drawmij's instant summons, AKA instant summons will grab an item that you've prepared in advance. Wish might do the trick, as it's in line with 'creating an item'.

Username17 · Post by **Username17** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 2:49 am

Most Teleportation effects let you take a fair amount of items with you, and corpses are items. So you can teleport to the corpse and then teleport out with the corpse.

-Username17

Meikle641 · Post by **Meikle641** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 2:55 am

Yeah, but getting in and out would be tricky, so I was hoping to see if there was a way to simply acquire the bodies with a spell. Otherwise yeah, we'll go in there with troops and cut a path with my chainsword, powers, and righteous wrath.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 3:51 am

Wish definitely should work, since it works on living people. Some sort of locate object, teleport, grab, teleport would work. It's best when 2 casters who can teleport go together with a third who can pick up the body. That way no one else gets to react.

Meikle641 · Post by **Meikle641** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 4:09 am

Houserule #9:

09. Banned Spells-
The "Wish" spell is off the spell lists for all classes. Most arcane magic involves poking the laws of physics into doing stuff for you; Wish involves grabbing the laws of physics by the throat, gutting them, tearing out their insides with your teeth, and drinking the still-warm blood. Wizards cannot learn Wish from gaining levels, and you won't find Wish scrolls or Rings of Three Wishes in any marketplaces. Wish still exists, but it's going to be much harder to get, with a price appropriate for the power of the spell. Making a bargain with a Fiend or a Genie, finding it scribed on the wall of a long-forgotten ruin, throwing a penny into a well... normal channels just won't cut it.

Edit:

On an unrelated note, this rule fucks us over CONSTANTLY:
03. Die Roll Results-
Except for skill checks, a 20 is always a success, and a 1 is always a failure. For 1s made while attacking, the roll counts as a Critical Fumble, and will result in you dropping your weapon at your feet. Retrieving a weapon is a move action, unless you have the Quick Draw feat, which reduces it to a free action if you're in the same square.

----

So of course the boss baddies never drop their weapons, or say...have their natural weapon fall off.

I like the guy, but he's extremely pigheaded about his rules, and whether they're flawed or not.

Another Edit:
Also, we're currently level 11 now.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 4:30 am

Meikle641 wrote:Wish still exists, but it's going to be much harder to get, with a price appropriate for the power of the spell. Making a bargain with a Fiend or a Genie...

Also, we're currently level 11 now.

So your Wizard is capable of Planar Binding a Glabrezu or Efreeti.

Murtak · Post by **Murtak** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:11 am

Meikle641 wrote:03. Die Roll Results-
Except for skill checks, a 20 is always a success, and a 1 is always a failure. For 1s made while attacking, the roll counts as a Critical Fumble, and will result in you dropping your weapon at your feet. Retrieving a weapon is a move action, unless you have the Quick Draw feat, which reduces it to a free action if you're in the same square.

You might want to point out to your DM how this means a more skilled (higher BAB) fighter will drop his sword more often than a less skilled fighter.

Meikle641 · Post by **Meikle641** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:43 am

We have. Believe me, we have. Which makes the idea of a marillith hilarious, since there's 6 attacks in a round it can make, which makes the chance of rolling a 1 stupidly high, and if you add feats or manuevers to boost that, it just get worse.

(We basically lost a sword a round, on our test)

Seriously, we don't know why the fuck he did it, but he won't budge. We've been trying for a year.

Roy · Post by **Roy** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:13 pm

Sounds like an irredeemable idiot. Own his campaign, it's worthless.

Amra · Post by **Amra** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:41 pm

Yeah, seconded. I can understand the desire to house-rule Wish out of play and keep it a plot-only device. It's the lazy way of dealing with the spell, but certainly faster than a comprehensive list of what it can and can't do...

But critical fumbles on a 1? Every time? Asshole.

Get yourself some of these!

Roy · Post by **Roy** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 1:26 pm

The Wish thing is a part of the idiot thing. Wish isn't even that good unless you're using it for stat boosts, and even then it's only decent because it costs too much. Looping it is a problem, but that'd be true of anything.

Aktariel · Post by **Aktariel** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 5:18 pm

There is no spell terribly similar to "Teleport Corpse to Me."

Drawmij's Instant Summons works, yes, but only if you've prepared it ahead of time. Otherwise, teleport in, grab, teleport out is the best that you can probably do.

But seriously. Go bind some outsiders that have Wish. Course, your DM sounds like a fucktard and will probably try to screw you over, so maybe you better not...

Meikle641 · Post by **Meikle641** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 6:04 pm

Hilariously, he'll allow me (using an alt character) to reverse-engineer some grenades from a tanar'ri arms dealer we whacked. 5d6 force damage, Reflex half. Knocks you into walls for falling damage.

Thus with enough of them, we can conceivably clear the damn monestary, one grenade at a time.

But yeah. The Dread Necro player pointed out to me that he's able to bind summons. Then we both cackled. Bind one Glabrezu for the retrieval, use another to create 25k of diamonds for my dead pappy. Both of us hate the tanar'ri, so hey.