Looking at a... noteworthy 3.5 campaign

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Avoraciopoctules
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Looking at a... noteworthy 3.5 campaign

Post by Avoraciopoctules »

There are 3 people reliably present in my local RPG group. Akula is one, and the other does not post on TGDMB. I'm not sure that he reads it either. Recently, he has proposed that he run a new campaign using a base chassis of the 3.5 SRD rules + his setting specific houserules. Quoted below without changes beyond pasting all the posts into one block.
This thread describes the setting for my Campaign

BTW C&C stands for Canables and Colonials


the basic premice is several races have established very powerful civilizations including elves, dwarfs, Humans, Gnomes, Haflings and Kobalds. these races have started colanizing places al over the world for varius reasons. the locals tend 2 get a crap deal because there civilizations arnt as large powerful or advanced as the colonials. these locals are called the savages races by the colonials and they include all goblins, lizardfolk, orcs and Gnolls.

First ill go into some back story on the world. first thing you have 2 understand is leveling. its extreamly rare for anyone two go past level 7. this is because leveling dosnt occur when you kill mosters for experiance it ocurs when you have recived education or training of some kind. for instance you can get a basic job education for free and become a level 1 wizard. after that further education costs monny but even if you have cash 2 pay for it education can only take you 2 level 3. but dont fret for there are other ways 2 increase your level for instance job experiance. training as a wizard is one thing but practicing on the battlefied or other kind of real employment can raise you another 3 levels for a total of level 6. after that you can get yourself one more level by doing your own reaserch into magic. there are some who make it past level 7 but these people are prodagies like that kid who you went 2 college with but he was only 14 or Steven hawking. also making pacts with power spirits or demond for power can increase you level. buts its still impossible 2 get past level 17.

the next thing you need 2 understand is how rare magic items are. with only 9 or ten people on the planet at a time who can cast wish or other high levels spells making magic items is tedius and expensive the colonail powers have come up with ways to cheapen they process and even create massive magic weapons and magic aplifiers. however its still rare to find magic items.
alchemicals however are fairly common and any potion with spells less then level 3 can made with alchemy as well as plus 1 weapons.

the Savage races have no such luck however and have a magic item in thier culture is extreemly rare and there often considered holy relics. also magcic item not alchemicals are personalized witch means you have 2 meet some prerecuasite 2 use or activate them like being human or being the decendant of a certain person bypassing this limit is possible but very difficult.


now some backstory on specific races.

the dwarfs "a little paranoia grows a long beard"

the dwarfs are a bit paraniod they spent there years fortifieng there nations against an invasion that never came. over the years they fortified there mountian homelands so thouroghly they ran out of ways 2 improve. then they realized somthing there econemy was shot all the natural recources of there mountain home had be sold 2 other nations so they could pay for there fortications. thats why the set two colonize other places so they can save there econemy by exploiting somone elses.

The Humans "the race that never sleaps"

the humans are definined by one thing when compared 2 othere races there shor lifespan. early humans found this unfair because the other races were setting the pace of civization and the humans were going 2 be rubbed out so they decided 2 change that. they used there short life spans 2 there advantage by expanding. soon the other races realized they could keep up every time they decided two colonize the humans could do it faster. and so the other races are forced 2 keep up with the humans schedule this still didnlt make them the most powerful civilization but they now have and assured place in the hierarchy.
humand colonize because its in there nature two expand and make room for there ever growing population.

the elves "quite this is a library" elves have the longest life span and they expliot it. they are the one race that can reach level 9 reliably. an elf wizard will spend his or her life first reaching level 7 the same way the rest of the world does and then thell spend 2 cenuries in some hidden mage tower honing there skills until they emerge at level 9. and now that they have this power they seek 2 show it off since elves find being level 9 less impressive they these livel nines go 2 rub people of other races noses in there power. then once they realize no one care they go back home and take there place on the coucil of elders in what ever nation they come from. in other words most elven nations are run by a bunch of aragant level nine show off who are out 2 prove there superority over every one. and this means proving they can make a more sucessful colony.

Haflings "are you enjoying your cotton candy? good so you will be wanting the antidote then?"

halfings are wanderers. they travel the colonial world as gypsies carnies traveling circuses and acting troops as well as any other traving group you can think off. when a hafling group comes through town they leave only trash and empty wallets behind. this led a lot of people 2 dispise them and indeed there were many efforts to get rid of them. however they do there job well people love there entertainsment and so the attempts at genocide failed before they started for lack of a united front as well as generous bribes by hafling leaders to goverment officails. and so th haflings live on. hafling dont colonize but they do travel to they colonies for many reasons either for inspiration for a play or pianting or to get exotic animals for there circus or even 2 entertain the locals.

Gnome and kobalds "notice how unoticed they are?"

long ago the nations of the kobalds and gnome raged wars against each other for thousands of years until they faught 2 a stalemate and settled in for a long cold war. during this time both side emroved there traps and elisions creating ever more power illision spell and ever more dangerous traps. and then in a fluke accident the cause of whitch is debated by scholars 2 this day both nations sudenly disapeared. in the after math those few gnomes and kobalds living out side there home for varius reason were left behind unable 2 locate the lost homes and so the itegrated themselves into the societies of other nations and are considered and invaluble subculture for any nation. the gnome and kobalds both made colonies in the hopes they might be able 2 create the nations anew. but there are also gnome and kobalds working with other colinies.
the savage races have one thing im mind to deal with the outsiders. however they all ave differant ideas of how 2 do this. also there are several thing the savage races have the colonials dont. #1 knolege of the local terain #2 resistance 2 local calamaties and most importantly #3 better gene for whatever reason the god seem 2 have given the Savages races the cream of the genetic crop.

The Goblins "dont bothe with that fishin rob master let me sell some of my fish half off"

The goblins have become the subcontractors of the colonial powers while the sell the humans there gold they hide the location of there mine. and while they rent out there samarai hordes the eleminate the need for colinests to create anything more then a local melitia. there plan is 2 never let the colonails fend for themselves and while the colonails find have less work and more profits grand they fail 2 realize how dependent they are. eventual the goblins plan exploit this and earn themselves a place at the top of the colonail food chain.

Gnolls "long live the confeterasay"

the gnolls are hoplessly divided. they might be strong but there lazy and any timea tribe get 2 big it divides against itself do 2 there in ability 2 creat an effective government for large groups. they most they can mannage is a loose confetercy of tribes when there race is threatened as a whole which is what they have now. and with the confeteracy in place the feel safe enough 2 for the most part leave the colonails alone. they have addopted and ignore it and it will go away policy hoping that either one of the other savege race will deal with the colonials and save them the work.

Lizardfolk "if ya cant beat em eat em"

the lizard folk have the largest civilazations of any of they savage races they are also they only ones why have taken a completly hostile stance towars the colonails. there have been many war between them ans the colonial and although they lost most of them they willl not be dettered. the lizardfolk have a warrior culture sililer 2 the aztecs and also remenicant of the new zealand waroir tribe in the that there wizard can draw power from sacrifice and there priests can as well. as for there woriers they can draw power from there fallen adversairies by eating them. they wont rest until the colonial leave so they can reagian there rightful place as the top dogs amounst the savage races. however many races find it hard 2 chose whitch is worse the colonails or the lizardfolk being in power. as such even though the lizardfolk have the best chance of beating the colonials they lack the support they need 2 seal the deal

The orcs "if you promise to keep gowing corn we promise 2 keep stealing it"

the orc never did develop agriculture instead the bred fantastic mounts and become the scaryest mounted wariars on the planet. orcs are taught how 2 ride before there taught how to walk. in orc culture if you cant ride or horse they kill rather then let you slow them down. but geting buy is not enough for them sure then can hunt and gather but they cant produce the finer thing that other races have so they steal them. and at this point there almost nothing that can stop them they attack towns without waring with number of trained wariors that the locals cant mach and they leave long before reenforments can arrive. they would be the most dangerous foce in the colonial world exept there numbers are 2 small. without agriculture orc populations cant grow beyond a certain point without them starving. even with subiments from raid its still not enough. and so the reamain more of a rare natural disaster in the minds of other races rather then a serios threat.

these are the playable race call me for further details about making charecters they are some changes 2 almost all the races plus charecter making rules that are 2 tedius 2 explain here.
=======

I realize that I am considering playing in the Half-Life: Full Life Consequences of D&D campaigns. Any thoughts?
Last edited by Avoraciopoctules on Sat Jan 16, 2010 5:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
Akula
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Post by Akula »

He loves core 3.5 because he has a program for making characters and is too damn lazy to make anything else. But this hurts. A lot. The casual racism about the savages having "better gene" made me think, "This is because there are a lot of black athletes, isn't it." I hate this, and it makes me want to hate him. But he is too stupid for that. This seems to be a deformed child with, to quote Yahtzee, "Racism instead of legs."
Last edited by Akula on Sat Jan 16, 2010 5:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Jilocasin »

That's.... really hard to read. 'Canables' is supposed to be cannibals, right? Definitely pegged the whole casual racism thing.
Some guy wrote:they might be strong but there lazy
Jebus.

Is this guy a friend? I mean, is there some concern over not pissing him off?

I did notice that at the very least a lot of the misspelling was consistent.
Last edited by Jilocasin on Sat Jan 16, 2010 7:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Akula »

Yes, that is supposed to be cannibals. Unless the other major group in this setting is seriously supposed to be making canned food. I wouldn't put it past him.

We know him, mostly we just kind of weather him. But then again, another guy in the group seriously threw a tantrum at Avoraciopoctules's house because an encounter I ran involved a Knight, in heavy armor, with a some backup, and was an ambush, and couldn't be easily solved by casting fireball lots. So it was to much Tactical Genius! for him.

These guys are less than socially competent.
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Post by Jilocasin »

Hm. I see.

Good luck.
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Post by Ganbare Gincun »

Why didn't you buy your friend some ENGLISH for Christmas? :lol:
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Post by Prak »

Ganbare Gincun wrote:Why didn't you buy your friend some ENGLISH for Christmas? :lol:
jesus, yeah, seriously. I couldn't make past the first paragraph...

but from what little I read, and what people have summarized, fuck. If this is indicative of his usual RPG conduct and tastes, I'd have simply stopped playing with him long ago...
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Post by Judging__Eagle »

Can't even spell Kobolds right. >_>
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Post by Nicklance »

Don't think I'll play this...
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Post by Mask_De_H »

No John, you are the savages.

And then John couldn't spell.
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Avoraciopoctules
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Post by Avoraciopoctules »

Interesting. This has turned into the sort of collaborative storytelling project where, as we play, we flesh out the details and excise the stupid from the game world. The DM is explicitly aware that there are a number of problems with the setting, and is willing to take feedback and change aspects of the world mid-game.

Now, the nations building colonies on the new continent are only slightly more powerful than the local ones. The main reason these colonies are tolerated is that they allow for peaceful trade both ways. International war would lead to horrible things happening to both sides (there are a lot of Cold War overtones creeping into the political situation now), and "adventurers" / groups of ostensibly freelance thugs are involved in much of the actual fighting and disputes over territory.

I was pleased to find out that slavery is actually heavily restricted in this setting. Goblin serfs exist in the goblinoid nation, but there are no operations kidnapping huge numbers of orcs to work cotton fields.

I and Akula are scheming to establish a deepwater port for a goblinoid city without existing naval forces beyond small fishing boats so that we can make a new trade route that doesn't involve traveling through the still-hard-to-make-sense-of "Disputed Zone" and paying a half-dozen or so tolls for safe passage to different warbands. Since we are both fresh off the boat this has so far involved establishing networks of contacts and ingratiating ourselves with local communities.
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Post by Maxus »

Avoraciopoctules wrote:Interesting. This has turned into the sort of collaborative storytelling project where, as we play, we flesh out the details and excise the stupid from the game world. The DM is explicitly aware that there are a number of problems with the setting, and is willing to take feedback and change aspects of the world mid-game..
This guy, whatever his flaws, has just gotten +1 from me.

That's a pleasant surprise. I've known people who had a very limited understanding but thought they knew it all. So it's nice to see someone who admits a shortcoming...
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Post by Akula »

Excising the stupid from the world is seriously like trying to hold back a mile of kudzu vines with a butter knife though. Every. Single. Thing. Introduced, is sure to contain more of it, ironically this gives me the incentive to interact with as little of the world as possible.
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Avoraciopoctules
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Post by Avoraciopoctules »

Here's my character sheet. It's a continuing work in progress, including the fact that Aetheros 2 has leveled up once since he was created at level 3: http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.p ... tid=179730

The character is essentially a gish focusing on weather-themed magic.

So my character is something like the 4th or 5th child in a very minor noble family in a predominantly human nation. This means that he got a decent amount of food and education, but stood to inherit very little. Mechanically, he's a Battle Sorcerer using the dungeons.wikia strain casting rules ( http://dungeons.wikia.com/wiki/Mana-Bas ... nt_Rule%29 ). His family strongly encouraged him to go to the New World to seek his fortune. On his voyage there, the ship he'd booked passage on was menaced by a storm and he frantically prayed to whatever was listening to save him, making all sorts of promises to serve it loyally forever, to the point that afterward, he wasn't sure exactly what he owed. Something answered, lifting him off the ship with gusts of wind and radiating palpable glee as it used tendrils of power in the form of solid lightning to play with its new toy. Aetheros blacked out and woke up on the shore surprisingly intact and feeling quite well. Soon, Aetheros realized that he seemed to know some new spells. However, he also noted that aspects of his appearance were subtly different and he had strange runes burned into his right hand. I left it up to the DM to determine precisely what my PC's new patron spirit was.

Conveniently, the other PC had washed up next to him. This was a Necropolitan (the DM retroactively decided that in his game, Necropolitans were made through an alchemical process that takes several years of the subject being left in suspended animation in a vat of alchemical preservatives and there's a percentage chance of failure and he didn't examine how the PC paid for it or how this would affect his current finances and/or the game in general and aaaaargh.) illusionist planning on going into Shadowcraft Mage. Perhaps partially due to the fact that as Akula introduced his PC in the hour or so before the first session, he refused to make a new or different character, the DM did not bother examining the PC closely. Later on in the game, I pitched the idea of a move action cantrip that would allow me to make a single melee attack that round as a ranged attack out to Short range. The DM said that this was too powerful, and that it should be a standard action and a first level spell. Only with 20 minutes of debate did this get resolved. Along with a dwarven priest (the ship we had taken was apparently a floating temple to the unnamed Sea God), we navigated towards the city we had originally been sailing towards.

Once there, Aetheros spent over a month and around half his money building contacts in first Eagle's Point, a neutral city, then the capital of the nearby goblin nation (this was glossed over, the goblin city and nation hasn't even been given a name yet). On treks between them, he served as a caravan escort for Grask, an ex-soldier turned caravan master. Remind me to talk about this character (backstory, behavior in game, etc.) at some point. My PC sees an opportunity to make something of himself in this nation, and begins to work towards getting citizenship. After filing all the appropriate forms, he goes with Grask again (leaving the other PC behind, partially because Akula didn't show up until later in that session), escorting the caravan on the trade route to the kobolds (who are apparently a race of steampunk/clockwork engineers) city. This trade route involves going up and over a mountain. It also involves druids guarding a tiny patch of rainforest demanding that travelers surrender all chopping weapons and flammables until they pass out of the jungle, after which the gear will be returned to them by bird. Higher up on the mountain, the caravan must make a several-day trip through a canyon that is pitch-black due to thick tree canopy overhead blocking out all light. This involves somehow hauling horse-drawn wagons full of live cave-shrimp eating sedative-laced rock up near-sheer cliffs. It also involves powerful winds that can throw people off cliffs. As of recently, it also involves fighting off warbands of fanatically hostile chittering insect men. This is apparently the best, safest, and only route. There are also bandit attacks here and there. After arriving at the kobold city, which is protected by electrified iron walls covered in spikes and various presumably either clockwork or steam-powered machines, the caravan negotiates for various gadgets and whizbangs to sell back to the goblins, who as a native faction have slightly inferior tech. They pay well for most stuff, and the goblin engineers might give far over the average for things they think they might be able to reverse-engineer. The kobolds apparently have a monopoly on high-end tech. They take pains to keep other nations from advancing to their level, particularly natives, and try to avoid selling the aforementioned stuff that can be reverse-engineered easily to native races.

Aetheros decides that for whatever reason, he isn't sure he likes this city. He spends most of the days there practicing with his new 2nd level spell slot (got my 1st of 3 level-ups allowed for "gaining experience in the field"). He also learns that since there's going to be snow in the mountains, the caravan has booked passage on a ship. One day, Grask comes to Aetheros with the news that while he didn't do anything illegal, Grask thinks that the authorities are going to be after him. Though Aetheros has stayed scrupulously distant from making criminal contacts or associating with obvious criminals in the past, he decides that he smells enough potential profit in this to abandon some of his scruples for the moment. Aetheros accompanies Grask on his flight from The Man, and uses barely veiled threats to ensure that the steam taxi driver and steamship the group uses to expedite their journey away and toward the goblin city do not turn back when telepathic messages are somehow beamed into the pilots in a way that causes them to stop for a few seconds as their eyes roll back into their heads (no, I didn't bring up the fact that I was surprised this didn't cause the car to crash. Retrospectively, I somewhat regret it). He learns that Grask bought a bunch of gadgets that the kobolds sell to other colonies, but not natives, and that he plans to sell these for cash monies. Aetheros insists that he be allowed to take his share (he invested some of his own money in the caravan when Grask bought kobold tech), plus a portion for "hazard pay" out of the cargo and present it as a gift to some of the more prominent goblins so as to gain attention and favor for himself in that nation. Ideally a noble title or something that will keep him on roughly even social footing with members of the warrior caste and make it easier to realize his later ambitions. Grask is fine with this, and will let Aetheros take all the really rad tech. He apparently has no interest in this himself.

On the voyage, Aetheros tries praying. He's been getting visions of a symbol for a while now, and he tries drawing it on one of his gloves. This apparently is enough to establish full telepathic contact with his patron spirit, who the DM has determined to be a demon with power relating to storms and protective magic. Aetheros earnestly asks what his new liege desires of him. Apparently nothing for the time being. The demon has never tried this whole god-business before, and isn't sure what to do. It seems vaguely pleased that Aetheros is minor noble from a foreign continent, though. It also casually and explicitly mentions that by infusing him with it's power, it might corrupt him into being more like it (Akula mentions that this might lead to the true horror of my PC ending up as indecisive as his patron is). Aetheros tells it that he will contact it again in around a month when he thinks he'll be more influential. The demon does not have a name. Aetheros silently resolves to figure out what sort of things demon worshippers generally do, then do that. His patron didn't really seem to have an opinion on forming cults or temples, but it seems like a good idea to him. Aetheros also realizes that his patron demon is weak-willed enough that he might be able to pressure it into letting Aetheros determine most of how the cult he is contemplating will work and what it will do. He also hypothesizes that maybe he isn't evil enough for it to care much about him.

The steamship is chased by other kobold ships. These are attacked by pirates who do not bother raiding the vessel Aetheros is on. (Akula's PC is with the pirates, but we are completely unaware of each other) Once the caravan disembarks from the steamship and reaches the goblin capital (which is annoying, given that it still doesn't have a port.) Aetheros uses his contacts to attempt to get an opportunity to impress some reasonably influential goblins with his gifts of tech (based on some stuff I was offered when asking about hazard pay, this includes things like rechargeable lightning grenades that can be set to proximity or timed detonation and machines that can be used to accurately predict the weather). He succeeds. Most of this is glossed over, but the goblins are willing to give me something equivalent to a noble title in exchange for my shiny gadgets. They propose that they make me the ambassador for my home nation. They will recognize me as such regardless of whether my home nation okays it. This sounds like an awesome offer to me, so I accept. It benefits Aetheros, his family (whoo, nepotism), and his home nation who gets their own embassy. Even if Aetheros wasn't predisposed to be at least somewhat friendly towards the nation he'd represent and take his job reasonably seriously, they'd be able to do all kinds of stuff with this.

So my home nation receives a special offer from the goblin nation. They will allow my nation to have an embassy there, but only on the condition that I be made the ambassador. My nation accepts this offer, but on several conditions. First, they refuse to pay me. Second, they refuse to pay to have their embassy constructed even after I acquire near-ideal land for it for free. Third, they refuse to allow me to have "diplomatic immunity", instead insisting that I get something they call "diplomatic mobility", which they refuse to explain the nature of clearly. It seems to be like diplomatic immunity, but without giving any sort of protection from crimes more significant than really petty stuff. I am being sent my younger sister and the platoon of soldiers she commands. No secretaries, no policy advisors, no policy suggestions or books explaining my laws.

So essentially, my government is giving me as little incentive as possible to do anything to help or support them, but is giving me the power to cause it trouble in a number of ways. Any suggestions for ways Aetheros might react?

------------------------

Oh, yes, and Akula reminds me to mention one more thing. The DM has all players roll 2d20 when they make a PC. If they roll a 20, they are a "prodigy", and get free levels.
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Post by Akula »

Everything that gets detailed or explained has holes in some or all of it. The NPCs are unlikable and flat, the setting is nonsensical, and the adventures are uninspired. So when a new city or road or geopolitical entity is explained or the motivations of a policy are revealed, it almost always means that I bring up problems for 5 minutes because there are just so many of them. For instance, there is something called the "contested territory" that surrounds the major deep water port. Merchants moving through it have to pay multiple tolls and deal with potential robbers under every rock. The people who do this raiding or booth keeping are sent hundreds of miles and then hung out to dry, but are supposed to represent real power blocs to the extent that killing a bunch of them would actually anger people. And yet the countries that are here PRIMARILY FOR TRADE haven't fixed this situation and continue to destabilize the area and any potential alternative ports. Presumably because they like paying extra for goods.

EDIT: Huh, the message I was responding to got deleted. I'll leave this up because Avoraciopoctules didn't go talk about the "contested territory" and I really had problems with it.
Last edited by Akula on Tue Jan 19, 2010 9:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Rejakor »

That kind of stuff really bothers me.


It doesn't seem to bother a lot of other players. Personally, I blame crpgs. A town doesn't have five buildings in it. Nations/towns/villages/cities don't exist for no reason, or in isolation.



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Avoraciopoctules
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Post by Avoraciopoctules »

This game died a few more sessions in. Akula and I had our PCs build up power and influence over the course of many hours of arguing and little tactical play, and at some point shortly after the Emperor of the hobgoblins attempted to hire us for a job and we offered to send some adventurers to do it (The emperor was a guy who glowed, and we weren't sure who exactly he was. His attempts to artsily hint at what he wanted us to know and what he desired for us backfired hilariously, and I only realized that my character was apparently there three quarters of the way through the conversation. Since all we really knew about this glowing guy was that he seemed vaguely suspicious, but claimed to have powerful influence, we decided to send some disposable adventurers or a couple squads of soldiers on his sensitive rescue mission.) I resolved to make and retire PCs until the world had a decent number of interesting NPCs with names in it. I decided to turn my main PC into a villain who would be the nemesis of the next serious character I made.

We offered to make new PCs and have them be the people our old PCs sent on the mission, but the logic slid off our DM's brain like rainwater off a sloped roof, and he decided to give us a new scenario having nothing to do with the mission for no readily discernable reason. I was feeling a little annoyed, and Akula and I decided to play a bunch of murderous gnolls (I was an especially powerful gnoll, he was the leader, a doppleganger who the DM decided needed to have at least one powerful new at-will SLA because of the backstory he made up for them probably on the spot) secretly in the employ of our old characters to attack caravans that didn't pay for their security services.

The game after that is a mixture of tedium and pain that I don't really feel inclined to remember beyond us raiding a caravan that had a map of some vague importance and us escorting a wizard who was hated by the elves for knowing some things about their flying towers and proprietary magic, leading them to send twenty-man hit squads with boots that gave them ridiculously good flight and wands of fireballs for the mages. These were defeated with semi-decent tactics after they threatened to bombard the ground with blasts from their wands if we didn't come out of the underbrush and talk to them. We then had their super-rare, super-valuable "real magic items" and I lost what little interest I had.

====================================

The DM has proposed a new game starting at level 6. I have finally convinced him to use Tome content in his games. This time, we need to pick a race for our character. Then, he'll tell us the backstory of the race and any special rules he wants to use for it.

The scenario: Demons are the forces of the Apocalypse, and they want to destroy everything. They started to do so, so the Devils saved everyone by escorting them through portals to another world. The Devils are fighting the Demons, and they are also protecting civilization in the new world. People have been here a few years now and are settled in, so now they are making war upon one another.

I decided to play a tiefling Warmage with Leadership. Based on what I was told about the humans and fiends, I made a PC who was part of the Human military. I got the following backstory. They (the human military) decided to do a supersoldier program by taking blood from Demon corpses and injecting it into soldiers. When everyone starting mutating monstrously, manifesting evil chaos magic (yes, I am taking Untamed Psychics as followers in addition to Warriors), and/or going utterly crazy, they decided to dishonorably discharge everyone in the program who hadn't committed horrible crimes that let them be executed. This... is something I could do a reasonably interesting character with, but at this point, Akula is feeling burnt-out as a d20 player and especially as a player in this guy's games. He point-blank refused to play in it until he and I did some scheming earlier today.

I and Akula intend to remorselessly troll this game. We are going to mostly ignore what is going on as the game begins. I am playing the Evil Wizard, and he is going to lead his army to conquer a random village. Then Akula's character is going to show up. He is the Hero and Chosen One, and he will have come to defeat my Evil Overlord, and possibly save a princess he kidnapped off screen that only gets brought up now. Akula's PC will probably be a multiclassed Ninja / Swashbuckler, and will be a mish-mash of as many horrible JRPG protagonist cliches as we can manage and still make it funny. He will be built to single-handedly take down my side as long as I deliberately play as villainously competently as Skeletor. After stealing the scene with this dramatic hijack, we will conclude with my villain's defeat (possibly in a swordfight after both he and The Hero transform to reveal their True Power) and Akula reading a personal epilogue for his character in terrible Engrish that feels at best vaguely related to what happened.

We need your help!

Akula needs to find a terrible piece of writing to copy paste from to put together his character's backstory. He should be along to discuss the details at some point today or tomorrow.
Akula
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Post by Akula »

I need you guys to help me find a fanfic level piece of writing. With a "Plucky Hero," bonus points for mary sue, that is set in a fantasy world where people stab one another in the face. Again, bonus for doing it with impractically large swords.
Endovior
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Post by Endovior »

...Okay...

...Something I don't get, here...



Why are you guys letting this guy run your games?

One would think that either of you could trivially do a better job, and without actually bothering to prepare anything in advance.
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Avoraciopoctules
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Post by Avoraciopoctules »

Not all our games. Akula and I generally run 3 or more games to every 1 of his. And I would say that much of our reason for participating when he does run a game comes from wanting something to complain and/or laugh at.
PhaedrusXY
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Post by PhaedrusXY »

Akula wrote:I need you guys to help me find a fanfic level piece of writing. With a "Plucky Hero," bonus points for mary sue, that is set in a fantasy world where people stab one another in the face. Again, bonus for doing it with impractically large swords.
The Wheel of Time series?
Rejakor
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Post by Rejakor »

Phaedrus you clearly haven't been exposed to the 'right'* kind of fanfics.

-Rejakor

*By right I mean very, very wrong.
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Avoraciopoctules
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Post by Avoraciopoctules »

Alright. New campaign where Akula and I are letting this guy DM. There are 4 PCs, one of whom Akula and I have made a pact to subtly troll for reasons I won't get into now. I bought the first half of Paizo's Kingmaker adventure path and "lent" it to the DM. We shall see whether this makes a significant difference in the quality of his games.

Akula is playing Loren Clint, a former bureaucrat from the free city of Restov. He joined the party's mission on a drunken bet, and intends to use our attempt at founding a nation to embezzle as much money as possible before absconding to a private mansion he'll build on the Shadow Plane. He is fond of petty money-making scams and casual lies. His class is Jester.

I am playing Saren Randall, a bounty hunter with a kinda-crazy, almost religious conviction that the multiverse would be a better place if the Material and Shadow Planes had open borders and free trade. Given the nature of the Shadow Plane in Pathfinder's cosmology, this is likely to end badly. Saren's family is a minor merchant house in Restov that through happenstance found a portal linking Material and Shadow generations ago. They used it to establish a secretive but highly profitable import-export business. This has contributed heavily to Saren's current outlook and plans to establish a transplanar kingdom once he makes the proper contacts and finds appropriate portals. Loren has collaborated with him and his family for quite some time, and Saren is an enthusiastic supporter of many of Loren's schemes. Saren also does drugs, and spent one of his starting poison immunities to avoid the negative effects of one of his most frequently used ones. His class is Assassin.
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CatharzGodfoot
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Post by CatharzGodfoot »

Are these Tome classes or Pathfinder classes?
The law in its majestic equality forbids the rich as well as the poor from stealing bread, begging and sleeping under bridges.
-Anatole France

Mount Flamethrower on rear
Drive in reverse
Win Game.

-Josh Kablack

Akula
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Post by Akula »

CatharzGodfoot wrote:Are these Tome classes or Pathfinder classes?
They are tome classes, in this game that means we cannot take scaling feats.
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