Havent you heard about a GM in your general area, where gamers who arent actually your friends but have played more rpgs than you tell you they are awesome?
Havent you ever become intrigued by those tales of awesomeand the deeds of those men who are supposed to be the best GMs/players youve ever seen in a game?
Havent you ever found those mystery men and had them run a game only to realise, thirty minutes into thegame
THAT THOSE GUYS SUCK MONKEYBALLS AND ARE UTTER AND COMPLETE DOUCHEBAGS WITH NO ACTUAL REDEEMABLE TRAITS? DONT THEY ALSO HAPPEN TO BE THE WORST GMS IN AN OBJECTIVE MANNER?
[The power of hearsay] I bet this has happened to you
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[The power of hearsay] I bet this has happened to you
BOARDGAMES ON MOTROCYCLEEES!
I think I just had a flashback. I think this has happened in at least 3 groups I've tried to play in. But you are going to be the one they hate. It's not just being numerically awesome, they'll hate you even if you are a 3.5 swashbuckler who is more creative and flashy. The only real divide is between groups where the DM and other players will try and hen-peck you into mediocrity or just reschedule and not tell you.
I wasnt talking about the group. Of course if the group promotes their GM as the best ever and you tell him his game is worse than eating glass theyll ostracize you and it makes sense. You contaminate the pack with heretic notions.
I am talking about those legendary GMs who are told to breathe rpgs and produce awesome, who end up being nerds with no lives and ridiculous storylines that insult your intelligence.
I am talking about those legendary GMs who are told to breathe rpgs and produce awesome, who end up being nerds with no lives and ridiculous storylines that insult your intelligence.
BOARDGAMES ON MOTROCYCLEEES!
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JonSetanta
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Actually.. yes. I have come across said overhyped GMs. Shitgrinning grognard alphanerds to the extreme.
Critical hit tables, for instance.
Critical hit tables, for instance.
Last edited by JonSetanta on Thu Dec 02, 2010 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The Adventurer's Almanac wrote: ↑Fri Oct 01, 2021 10:25 pmNobody gives a flying fuck about Tordek and Regdar.
I recall two guys in particular who were rumoured to be the best GMs of Call of Cthulhu and Wraith the Oblivion respectively (heretofore referred as CthuFail and Wraithshit)
So I attended one of CthuFails sessions. I was kind of eexcitred, because he is the editor of a major gaming magazine I grew up with in Greece and he is said to posses high levels of cthulawesome in his blood. In fact, there were actual posts on the local gamin store;s billboard for vacancies in his campaign.
So I got to participate in oneof his sessions and I distinctly recall that the man was cutting corners in his descriptions, showing us the mythos beasties straight from the book, rendering the horror of their presence moot. The game was slow, full of creepy remarks toward the girls in the table (I swear to god, every NPC was trying to grope them) and the session ended with me dying a horrible horrible death, ass raped by Shub Niggurath sex cultists, without a chance to blow my brains out, because they were inhumanly fast.
The girls died similarly, but he described their deaths as a sensation akin to reaching Nirvana.
Wraithshits session was another cup of tea. I wanted to see what the oWod was like and Wraith in particular, because I kinda thought the Shade mechanic was awesome (Shade is the darker side of yourself who tries to corrupt you and is roleplayed by someone else in the table). His best friend was assgined as my Shade. I played a pregen, a dead rapist, who tried to make up too late in his life for his crimes. My Shade was trying to coerce me to ecto-rape his ex, who was playing with us at the table and when I finally decided to complain, Wraithshit told me that it was valid shade roleplaying. I stayed up until the point where the wraith of a destroyed Tyrannosaurus-bot stomped a central square in athens.
So I attended one of CthuFails sessions. I was kind of eexcitred, because he is the editor of a major gaming magazine I grew up with in Greece and he is said to posses high levels of cthulawesome in his blood. In fact, there were actual posts on the local gamin store;s billboard for vacancies in his campaign.
So I got to participate in oneof his sessions and I distinctly recall that the man was cutting corners in his descriptions, showing us the mythos beasties straight from the book, rendering the horror of their presence moot. The game was slow, full of creepy remarks toward the girls in the table (I swear to god, every NPC was trying to grope them) and the session ended with me dying a horrible horrible death, ass raped by Shub Niggurath sex cultists, without a chance to blow my brains out, because they were inhumanly fast.
The girls died similarly, but he described their deaths as a sensation akin to reaching Nirvana.
Wraithshits session was another cup of tea. I wanted to see what the oWod was like and Wraith in particular, because I kinda thought the Shade mechanic was awesome (Shade is the darker side of yourself who tries to corrupt you and is roleplayed by someone else in the table). His best friend was assgined as my Shade. I played a pregen, a dead rapist, who tried to make up too late in his life for his crimes. My Shade was trying to coerce me to ecto-rape his ex, who was playing with us at the table and when I finally decided to complain, Wraithshit told me that it was valid shade roleplaying. I stayed up until the point where the wraith of a destroyed Tyrannosaurus-bot stomped a central square in athens.
BOARDGAMES ON MOTROCYCLEEES!
Closest I've had is an MC who started great, then declined. He started using the same plot (basically) in all games (hey, it's David Eddings!), stupid cameos to the extreme, never actually using the actual rules he said, dick moves...
It seemed to coincide with the "less games, more gamers" era, and him thinking he could solve things by having 8-player games.
It seemed to coincide with the "less games, more gamers" era, and him thinking he could solve things by having 8-player games.
Count Arioch the 28th wrote:There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.
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Sarandosil
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I ran into this when I first got into gaming. I got into D&D when 3e was released and I didn't know anyone who played and I filled games by grabbing random people to try it with me. I was pretty excited when I finally met some experienced gamers, including one who was supposedly a good GM, so when we got a group together I thought the obvious thing to do was to let the experienced dude run a game so I could learn how to run games properly.
Of course, I wanted to play D&D since it was the only system I was familiar with. But I quickly find out D&D is a plebian system for the masses, we're going to play something much better. Rifts.
It should have been a massive clue-bat when the GM spoke fondly of a friend of his for randomly killing players by lightning if they did something he didn't like, but I was clueless at the time. The group started off with a ley-line walker (me) a techno wizard, some kind of biotic dude and the mystery man. The mystery man was the GM's friend, and none of us were allowed to know what he was, which meant he was using something from the supplements that far outstripped any of us in power.
The GM had a GMPC of course, which we also weren't allowed to know what he was.
There's not much to recount in the game, which was most of the problem. We started somewhere in Australia with one of the players driving a hover thing in the desert, and we crashed into something (I have no idea). Hovercar destroyed and stuck wandering the desert, we stumble upon an ancient abandoned underground complex that was hidden by what I have to guess was about three inches of sand. We decide to go inside, and after a bit of looking around we get to the main station at which I use whatever computer skill I had to try to pull up a map of the place.
This seemed to annoy the GM. In retrospect I can see that's because he had no idea what was in this place and had to come up with something when I pulled up the map. In retrospect I can also see that his tone of voice was "spiteful," but I didn't quite recognize that when he said "there are 100 levels" in response to a query about how big the place was.
I should mention this was already several sessions into the game. The game moved at an agonizing pace since the GM rarely ever gave us any direction. Mostly we wandered and got random encounters thrown at us. By the time we hit the complex the techno wizard was already out of his lightning rifle because he rolled a 1 on some attack and the GM ruled the gun fried.
We start to explore the complex. We got about six floors down before I player revolted his ass and took over the game. We spent something like five sessions to go through six levels that, I kid you not, were full of nothing but empty rooms with skeletons wearing lab coats and random slimes that would drop on us from the ceilings. Walk around watching the ceiling? Nope, you still get surprised every time. One of the players took a pole and fastened one of the skeletons with labcoats onto it and then stuck it into a room and shook the skeleton as bait, but that didn't work either. The slimes could tell it was already someone they'd eaten, apparently.
He wasn't much better as a player. It took another two sessions of failed games (D&D this time) before the game got going at all, but eventually we did get a decent game going once I yelled at him enough.
Of course, I wanted to play D&D since it was the only system I was familiar with. But I quickly find out D&D is a plebian system for the masses, we're going to play something much better. Rifts.
It should have been a massive clue-bat when the GM spoke fondly of a friend of his for randomly killing players by lightning if they did something he didn't like, but I was clueless at the time. The group started off with a ley-line walker (me) a techno wizard, some kind of biotic dude and the mystery man. The mystery man was the GM's friend, and none of us were allowed to know what he was, which meant he was using something from the supplements that far outstripped any of us in power.
The GM had a GMPC of course, which we also weren't allowed to know what he was.
There's not much to recount in the game, which was most of the problem. We started somewhere in Australia with one of the players driving a hover thing in the desert, and we crashed into something (I have no idea). Hovercar destroyed and stuck wandering the desert, we stumble upon an ancient abandoned underground complex that was hidden by what I have to guess was about three inches of sand. We decide to go inside, and after a bit of looking around we get to the main station at which I use whatever computer skill I had to try to pull up a map of the place.
This seemed to annoy the GM. In retrospect I can see that's because he had no idea what was in this place and had to come up with something when I pulled up the map. In retrospect I can also see that his tone of voice was "spiteful," but I didn't quite recognize that when he said "there are 100 levels" in response to a query about how big the place was.
I should mention this was already several sessions into the game. The game moved at an agonizing pace since the GM rarely ever gave us any direction. Mostly we wandered and got random encounters thrown at us. By the time we hit the complex the techno wizard was already out of his lightning rifle because he rolled a 1 on some attack and the GM ruled the gun fried.
We start to explore the complex. We got about six floors down before I player revolted his ass and took over the game. We spent something like five sessions to go through six levels that, I kid you not, were full of nothing but empty rooms with skeletons wearing lab coats and random slimes that would drop on us from the ceilings. Walk around watching the ceiling? Nope, you still get surprised every time. One of the players took a pole and fastened one of the skeletons with labcoats onto it and then stuck it into a room and shook the skeleton as bait, but that didn't work either. The slimes could tell it was already someone they'd eaten, apparently.
He wasn't much better as a player. It took another two sessions of failed games (D&D this time) before the game got going at all, but eventually we did get a decent game going once I yelled at him enough.
Last edited by Sarandosil on Thu Dec 02, 2010 6:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Sarandosil
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I recently had a bitter argument with a guy who was his own advertising department.
He kept going on about how his stuff would be 'unique!' and be a story like 'you haven't seen before!'
Oh, and then he didn't want to do actual worldbuilding for the setting--supposedly steampunk, but he took one idea--that some company was synthesizing crystals that superheated when exposed to water and they would flashboil the water and while the crystals eroded in the process, it was superior to wood, etc.
One decent idea for tech. Then he wanted to think of how many people lined up each morning to fellate a company president's cock and tried to say this ongoing civil war was a war without rules and had started back in forever
--You know, TOTOL WOR! WORRRR!
The kind of war that doesn't last long at all.
Apparently, the PCs were supposed to be the only people with a brain in all of millions of people, which is why the war was ongoing. When I pointed out that if I instantly think of sneaking a man with a steamcutter--that is, a machine which puts out high-pressure jet of steam, whose heat and PSI combine to slice through steel and send him to the enemy city to cut down key buildings and wreck infrastructure, someone would have thought of it well before this 'story' starts...his response was "It's a fantasy game"
The populace is retarded, which doesn't match the steampunk genre, which tends to put a big value on individuality and a whole lot of unique tech? "Lol. It's a fantasy game"
So, yes. I went from "Giving the GM a fair chance" to "leaving this retard to his own self-aggrandizement" in about two hours, before the game even started.
He kept going on about how his stuff would be 'unique!' and be a story like 'you haven't seen before!'
Oh, and then he didn't want to do actual worldbuilding for the setting--supposedly steampunk, but he took one idea--that some company was synthesizing crystals that superheated when exposed to water and they would flashboil the water and while the crystals eroded in the process, it was superior to wood, etc.
One decent idea for tech. Then he wanted to think of how many people lined up each morning to fellate a company president's cock and tried to say this ongoing civil war was a war without rules and had started back in forever
--You know, TOTOL WOR! WORRRR!
The kind of war that doesn't last long at all.
Apparently, the PCs were supposed to be the only people with a brain in all of millions of people, which is why the war was ongoing. When I pointed out that if I instantly think of sneaking a man with a steamcutter--that is, a machine which puts out high-pressure jet of steam, whose heat and PSI combine to slice through steel and send him to the enemy city to cut down key buildings and wreck infrastructure, someone would have thought of it well before this 'story' starts...his response was "It's a fantasy game"
The populace is retarded, which doesn't match the steampunk genre, which tends to put a big value on individuality and a whole lot of unique tech? "Lol. It's a fantasy game"
So, yes. I went from "Giving the GM a fair chance" to "leaving this retard to his own self-aggrandizement" in about two hours, before the game even started.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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PhoneLobster
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This is a phenomena I have noticed. I would say its basically because D&D is totally cool awesome and people have low expectations/standards.
Personally when trying to promote myself and my totally cool awesome games to people I... basically don't. I know I'm good, I know I'm better than most but I know I have my bad days, my ideas are rarely truly original, and sometimes even repetitive.
If people ask what my games are like I hand wave the shortest possible blurb about "player participation" and "you know the usual D&D/Whatever with the usual bunch of house rules and the usual fun and stuff" before jumping straight to either A) The brush off (I don't want that guy in my game!) or B) "Just come along and check it out, RPG groups are something you just have to see working in person to know if they are any good for you." if I actually want to recruit them.
I very NEARLY recently recruited and extra couple of almost complete strangers for an under numbers group with basically. "Hey, you wanna play D&D at my place some time", losing them only on the revelation that they might have to drive a whole 30 minutes to get there. (city folk just don't travel well).
Saying "Hey you wanna play D&D at my place some time... it will be hella awesome and unique and special and the bestest ever because I am the bestest most awesome D&D god in the universe and you aught to bow down before me, lol isn't it awesome when I say "Rocks fall you all die!" teehee! PS NARRAAAAATTTTTIIIIIIVEEEEEE, PPS No munchkins or I will cock rape you!." Is not a good way to sell a game, and frankly is not only counterproductive but actually unnecessary as you generally will either rope most folks in or scare them off (and inform them of everything useful you are capable of) just with the "Hey you wanna play D&D at my place some time" bit.
Personally when trying to promote myself and my totally cool awesome games to people I... basically don't. I know I'm good, I know I'm better than most but I know I have my bad days, my ideas are rarely truly original, and sometimes even repetitive.
If people ask what my games are like I hand wave the shortest possible blurb about "player participation" and "you know the usual D&D/Whatever with the usual bunch of house rules and the usual fun and stuff" before jumping straight to either A) The brush off (I don't want that guy in my game!) or B) "Just come along and check it out, RPG groups are something you just have to see working in person to know if they are any good for you." if I actually want to recruit them.
I very NEARLY recently recruited and extra couple of almost complete strangers for an under numbers group with basically. "Hey, you wanna play D&D at my place some time", losing them only on the revelation that they might have to drive a whole 30 minutes to get there. (city folk just don't travel well).
Saying "Hey you wanna play D&D at my place some time... it will be hella awesome and unique and special and the bestest ever because I am the bestest most awesome D&D god in the universe and you aught to bow down before me, lol isn't it awesome when I say "Rocks fall you all die!" teehee! PS NARRAAAAATTTTTIIIIIIVEEEEEE, PPS No munchkins or I will cock rape you!." Is not a good way to sell a game, and frankly is not only counterproductive but actually unnecessary as you generally will either rope most folks in or scare them off (and inform them of everything useful you are capable of) just with the "Hey you wanna play D&D at my place some time" bit.
Last edited by PhoneLobster on Fri Dec 03, 2010 7:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
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I have found that I don't *need* to promote my game either. Typically, if I think someone would both want to be at my table and I would want them there (emphasis on the second one) then they are probably already aware of my game and how awesome it is. The guys that actually talk about their game... their games tend to suck in my experience. I suspect that it is because those guys are "playing D&D" instead of "hanging out with their friends with D&D as an excuse."
My warning bells go off when someone promises something 'unique'.
Sorry, dude, I'd rather have 'good'. I don't play RPGs to get a Unique Experience (TM), I play them to have fun and enjoy myself and basically take a break.
Sorry, dude, I'd rather have 'good'. I don't play RPGs to get a Unique Experience (TM), I play them to have fun and enjoy myself and basically take a break.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
For some reason, you have described like 90% of Rifts MCs ever. I'm not sure why, but I think it might be partly due to the oldskool feeling of Rifts (it was made in the "Everyone's game is AD&D with Houserules" era and never actually changed) or the fact that Kevin himself advocates being a fuckwad MC.Sarandosil wrote:we're going to play something much better. Rifts.
It should have been a massive clue-bat when the GM spoke fondly of a friend of his for randomly killing players by lightning if they did something he didn't like,
I don't run Rifts well, but that's just because the whole thing tends to be a mess (and I've never tried to run it real-time). Oh, and for the longest time, any Rifts game on rpol literally had the same half-dozen players, and they didn't get along. But I do know one good MC for Rifts and how about that, he just says "Yeah, it's pretty much your average game. Combat-heavy, military themed but you're not *just* fighting, but seriously, play something that can hold his own in a fight. I know the rules are a bit derp, here are the main changes up-front but basically we'll put up with any odd little things."
Compare the guy I see at cons who mistakenly thinks I am interested in anything he has to say, and who seriously described a character of his using the phrase "and then I basically kill the rest of the party":
"I take a hard-line approach with Rifts. Core book only, none of that extra crap, and no dragons or robot pilots. If you reach fifteenth level, then you can retire the character and play something else from any of the other books, so there's a benefit to playing the Useless Hobo with the fast XP chart. If you pull any stupid shit, bam, a thousand mega damage and you die. If you argue with me, same thing."
Count Arioch the 28th wrote:There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.
Ass-rape all the way dude.Sarandosil wrote: You mean similarly without recourse or similarly through ass-rape?
I was always kind of curious about Rifts. When I first heard the idea and the Megaverse as a super-setting I was HOOKED, because I am a huge nerd when it comes to parallel universes. Ive heard that the Palladium rules are less than stellar but then again you can run the game with an open-ended system (like GURPS or BESM).
However, the books that I have read were mostly about MEGADAMAGE OMG and didnt provide much fluff or new ideas for the setting. Dont take me wrong, I love dishing out ridiculous amounts of damage and blow up tracts of land, but I dont want it to be the end all be all.
Seriously, a setting where every bad thingamajig from the multiverse rushing into earth and man using supertech and magic to hold the line is nothing short of awesome.
Last edited by Gnyahaha on Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
BOARDGAMES ON MOTROCYCLEEES!
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JigokuBosatsu
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The whole Rifts ouevre is just too "cool" to be "good". Every rifts game I ever played I tried to bring in a Ninjas & Superspies character. Who was a Viking ninja.
I feel like that whole paragraph should have tap delay and a Jamaican screaming over it, that's how crazy it sounds.
I feel like that whole paragraph should have tap delay and a Jamaican screaming over it, that's how crazy it sounds.
Omegonthesane wrote:a glass armonica which causes a target city to have horrific nightmares that prevent sleep
JigokuBosatsu wrote:so a regular glass armonica?
Hiro Protagonitsson, son of Protagonist Wilbursson, who razed the gleming city of NeeOrk.JigokuBosatsu wrote:The whole Rifts ouevre is just too "cool" to be "good". Every rifts game I ever played I tried to bring in a Ninjas & Superspies character. Who was a Viking ninja.
Why does everybody try to insert Ninjas in Rifts? Seems like from reviewers to gamers, everybody thinks this is archetypal enough, while nobody introduces supers, which sounds appropriate.
How about a Jamaican man from TMNT in glitterboy armor?JigokuBosatsu wrote:I feel like that whole paragraph should have tap delay and a Jamaican screaming over it, that's how crazy it sounds.
MEGADAMAGE MOOON
BOARDGAMES ON MOTROCYCLEEES!
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JigokuBosatsu
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I think 'ninja' was a figure of speech, in this case. I believe the archetypal character was Ragnar Ragnarson, a Hulk Hogan-lookin' thug with a Viking helmet. I was rewarded for my pains with a fabulous magic item, the "Axe of Many Bleedings". Everyone in that Rifts crowd was a crazy douche, myself notwithstanding.
(insert test tone/siren here)
(insert test tone/siren here)
Omegonthesane wrote:a glass armonica which causes a target city to have horrific nightmares that prevent sleep
JigokuBosatsu wrote:so a regular glass armonica?
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TheFlatline
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Oh I remember a game like this. I had just started dating my then GF and she told me about this great game that had been going on for years that her friends played and how I had to come and play since I was an old hand at AD&D. I was told to bring a pre-generated character and that backstory was great and blah blah blah. So I roll up an elven assassin raised by humans, so he culturally acted like a human but physically was an elf.
So I made the 3 hour drive with her one night.
The DM was instantly hostile to me. Like seriously "Oh I have pre-gaming to do, you need to go sit outside the house for 2 hours while I do this important stuff" hostile. I want to leave, but I'm the ride for 2 other people including my GF, so I spend the time polishing the character, making his backstory more believable, so on and so forth.
Finally the game starts. We meet up, talk a little, and escape this city that's under siege. I realize that I'm in a hostile game when it turns out I'm level 3 and everyone else is in the upper teens. I go to sleep hiding in a bush in camp that night, being very paranoid about being outside of a city (character wasn't a nature boy, he preferred cities). The DM grins at me and tells me I never wake up. I'm dead. Apparently, during my sleep, two dragons that breathed liquid nitrogen attacked the camp and decided the first thing to go was a bush on the edge of camp. Just a bush. I also get no saves because I'm asleep and not "ready for the attack". He then tells me he's no longer in a place in the story where introducing a new character is "convenient" for him, that I lost my chance, and would just have to sit there for the rest of the night.
I stand up and tell my GF and her friend that I'm going home because I'm obviously not welcome, and since I'm the only one with a car who can drive them the 2 hours to their home, they may want to go home with me. The DM tells me I'm an asshole because I'm ruining his game, and I point out that DM fiat deaths 2 minutes into the game is some of the worst piece of shit DMing I've ever seen in my life.
The DM's wife convinces him not to retcon and let me... I don't know, at least go down with a saving throw, but instead to play this McGuffin NPC that is central to the entire multi-year plotline. So at least I won't get DM-fiat killed.
Then I look at the character sheet. This guy was probably *the* most overpowered, bullshit, game-breaking character I've ever seen. He acted 7 times a round in combat. His strength was in the upper 20's. So on and so forth. So combat starts, and not being particularly attached to this character, I decide to play him for all he's worth. I more or less single-handedly destroy an effective 100th level beholder by exploiting the DM's failure to play strategically, and complete the final combat without actually drawing a weapon.
At this point, the DM ends the game and orders me out of his house and forbids me to ever return again. I take my GF and her friend home, as the DM is demanding to my GF that she break up with me "or else".
Turns out the DM and his wife were trying to get my GF into the sack when I met her, and I killed that possibility. I also apparently soured her on ever going back to game there again.
But yeah, that was probably some of the worst gaming I've ever done.
So I made the 3 hour drive with her one night.
The DM was instantly hostile to me. Like seriously "Oh I have pre-gaming to do, you need to go sit outside the house for 2 hours while I do this important stuff" hostile. I want to leave, but I'm the ride for 2 other people including my GF, so I spend the time polishing the character, making his backstory more believable, so on and so forth.
Finally the game starts. We meet up, talk a little, and escape this city that's under siege. I realize that I'm in a hostile game when it turns out I'm level 3 and everyone else is in the upper teens. I go to sleep hiding in a bush in camp that night, being very paranoid about being outside of a city (character wasn't a nature boy, he preferred cities). The DM grins at me and tells me I never wake up. I'm dead. Apparently, during my sleep, two dragons that breathed liquid nitrogen attacked the camp and decided the first thing to go was a bush on the edge of camp. Just a bush. I also get no saves because I'm asleep and not "ready for the attack". He then tells me he's no longer in a place in the story where introducing a new character is "convenient" for him, that I lost my chance, and would just have to sit there for the rest of the night.
I stand up and tell my GF and her friend that I'm going home because I'm obviously not welcome, and since I'm the only one with a car who can drive them the 2 hours to their home, they may want to go home with me. The DM tells me I'm an asshole because I'm ruining his game, and I point out that DM fiat deaths 2 minutes into the game is some of the worst piece of shit DMing I've ever seen in my life.
The DM's wife convinces him not to retcon and let me... I don't know, at least go down with a saving throw, but instead to play this McGuffin NPC that is central to the entire multi-year plotline. So at least I won't get DM-fiat killed.
Then I look at the character sheet. This guy was probably *the* most overpowered, bullshit, game-breaking character I've ever seen. He acted 7 times a round in combat. His strength was in the upper 20's. So on and so forth. So combat starts, and not being particularly attached to this character, I decide to play him for all he's worth. I more or less single-handedly destroy an effective 100th level beholder by exploiting the DM's failure to play strategically, and complete the final combat without actually drawing a weapon.
At this point, the DM ends the game and orders me out of his house and forbids me to ever return again. I take my GF and her friend home, as the DM is demanding to my GF that she break up with me "or else".
Turns out the DM and his wife were trying to get my GF into the sack when I met her, and I killed that possibility. I also apparently soured her on ever going back to game there again.
But yeah, that was probably some of the worst gaming I've ever done.
Last edited by TheFlatline on Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
Flatline, I am truly sorry for you.
I thought I'd had a few shitty DMs (I still curse your name, Mark) but that is truly, mind-bogglingly, incredibly...
Like, Even PL's idiot DM can't beat that. That is a result of outright, intentional evil.
I thought I'd had a few shitty DMs (I still curse your name, Mark) but that is truly, mind-bogglingly, incredibly...
Like, Even PL's idiot DM can't beat that. That is a result of outright, intentional evil.
Last edited by Maxus on Tue Dec 28, 2010 5:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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TheFlatline
- Prince
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I'm not a griefer. I will go to extreme lengths to do whatever I can to enhance the story for everyone, whether they are players or the MC.Maxus wrote:Flatline, I am truly sorry for you.
I thought I'd had a few shitty DMs (I still curse your name, Mark) but that is truly, mind-bogglingly, incredibly...
Like, Even PL's idiot DM can't beat that. That is a result of outright, intentional evil.
However, this dude was the *one* time I took utter glee in fucking with someone's game.
So the BBEG fight is between the party, my NPC I'm guest PC'ing, and a greater beholder with 50 caster levels of cleric, and 50 caster levels of wizard. I'm not shitting you on this.
The beholder surrounds himself with like seven spherical blade barriers and then summons in these demon succubi things that did, in AD&D, 1d10x10 damage whenever they took even a hitpoint of damage due to their boiling pure magma blood (I have a feeling he made this shit up on the spot). So not being able to whack-bonk the chicks, not being able to actually do anything to the beholder, and being literally stronger than a hill giant due to NPC wankery, I did what any frustrated player would do.
I stopped playing by his rules.
I sprinted from demon bitch to demon bitch, grappled, and flung them as hard as I was capable into the blade barrier. He asked me why I wanted to do that and I said "Ever seen a tomato thrown into a blender? Guess who's inside a big spherical blender and can't even fucking try to reflex out of the way since the blade barriers are so close to him?".
Daggers. Fucking daggers in his eyes when he realized I just hit the auto-win button on the encounter he didn't realize he had put in there. It was beautiful. I did something insane like 700 points of damage in 4 rounds (Remember this NPC acted no less than 6 times a round) and the DM had to fiat that the beholder was actually invulnerable to physical damage (he first said the beholder cast heal, and I pointed out that's a hell of a good concentration trick when the beholder had taken 300 points of damage that turn). At which point another player asked what the point of the combat was, and things went downhill from there.
It was a bad game, but it ended well. I fucked the dude's game, and then I went home and fucked my then-gf until dawn. And she never hung around that house again, so I'd say all in all I scored a hat trick in one evening.
