D&D - Book of Vile Darkness

[shadzar]

Saturday 11/24 9pm SyFy.

Well I surely wasnt expecting this anytime soon, nor for thanksgiving release.

So far I would rate the previous movies thusly:

1. Dragons of Autumn Twilight
   Of course the animation for Dragonlance was horrid, but the story, what was there was the best.
2. Dungeons and Dragons
   Yeah terrible story, but shows really how the game works and people getting thrown into some epic course. Reminiscent of LotR, even though the ending and acting was quite bad.
3. Scourge of Worlds
   If you have the cheat sheet or care about 3rd edition iconics, then the story isnt that bad, but it is way too rushed and has worse animation than Dragonlance. I blame OotS for my like of this one because i always thing of Roy Greenhilt when i see Regdar. Could have been much better if it didnt have its virus, i mean remove the normal DVD functionality, in order to make it a CYOA movie.
4. Wrath of the Dragon God
   Ooooh we mention we are in Greyhawk with a leftover from the first movie, Damidar. One of the least interesting characters and actors. Hey the first dwarf went on to be a damn good pirate, he new his part well. The story lacked hardly any depth. It was like Dragonlance in that the story seemed to be written around an adventure played by people. The only good part was iconic D&D names, and how the thief showed how useless the entire class is for the game when he did the thing anyone could do if given a chance.

Being a magic item like the "dragon control" objects of the live action movies and Scourge of Worlds; and of course Dragonlance having dragons.. I hope this movie finally has NO dragons. Yeah its in the games name but ever 90 minute showing of the game doesnt have to have both dungeons and dragons in it. Come on, dungeons are present where there are castles or medieval societies, but adding the dragons for the sake of game connection is overly cliched.

If this is out on DVD/Blu already and people have seen it, wait to discuss it until AFTER it airs please, because i at least never saw it for home viewing. so please keep the thread to predictions until Sunday at least.

Idea, opinions, what we expect from the movie?

[Shrapnel]

Dragons of Autumn Twilight
Of course the animation for Dragonlance was horrid, but the story, what was there was the best.

*loud mocking derisive laughter*

[Josh_Kablack]

Well, "best" in this case clearly means "best licensed D&D fiction written prior to 1989" - as that's when shad's interest in D&D ended.

And while Dragonlance falls far short of other, fantasy, works of the period, it is massively better than the other crap TSR was licensing back then.

[shadzar]

No, I mean best story of the movies, as i only mention the existing 4 movies, and the upcoming one.

D&D was too childish, in line with the cartoon that i have fond memories of, but it gets the general idea of what a D&D adventure is, in case nobody ever saw LotR or Hercules TV series, or any other adventure/quest based series.

the CYOA movie was too much like a children's novel level of writing and ann advertisement for 3rd with the iconics. also the writing was just BAD in it compared to the actual CYOA D&D books.

Dragon God, was an accidental on purpose sequel to D&D with the reoccurring BBEG, but the story was just bad.

Dragonlance was the ONLY movie with a solid story, and written by a real author, not some amateur wannabe screenwriter.

[Shrapnel]

I can't believe you're serious. I watched that movie, it was utter shit.

First, here's what the reception to the movie was, according to good ole Wikipedia.

Second, the plot is so thin that if you sneezed it would blow apart. It's never explained what those tablets that the main characters search for are, nor do they explain why there's just some Retarded Old Dude(TM) who can all of the sudden read said tablets, or who he is.

Third, Tanis' elven girlfriend is poorly slapped on to the plot. She wasn't even in the original book, as far as I can remember. Oh, and at the end of the movie, she falls in love somehow with Retarded Old Dude(TM) with absolutely no explanation.

Fourthly, in that scene where the party encounters a bunch of monks, we are led to believe that for some reason bad guys. (this is nothing to say of how horribly awful their CGI robes are...)

And finally, "Healing magic is the most important kind of magic!"

Even the creators of the movie have said that they're disappointed in how the movie came out.

[Darth Rabbitt]

Having seen the movie as well, I agree, but advise to not take movie critics or the Hickmans' advice on anything in entertainment, or else you get this:

Leonard Maltin gave [Laserblast] 3 1/2 stars!

[Shrapnel]

Even Laserblast was better than the Dragonlance movie.

I have to leave this thread now; reading other peoples opinions make me depressed.

[Avoraciopoctules]

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/06/dun ... kweeds.php

[Shrapnel]

I think we should all agree that D&D just doesn't translate well onto the golden "silver" screen. Each attempt to do so has ended in miserable failure.

[shadzar]

no, but i will say every WotC movie, and possibly HASBRO movie is shit in terms of production quality, story, direction, continuity, etc.

WotC surely doesnt know how to tell a story or find people that do, just look at their published adventures.

GI Joe, Battelship, all crap. Only reason Transformers did good was because Megan "Tits", and well it was Transformers. has HASBRO done any other movies?

HASBRO and WotC just dont have the sense god gave a billy goat in regards to making video products.

[erik]

I think we should all agree that D&D just doesn't translate well onto the golden "silver" screen. Each attempt to do so has ended in miserable failure.

Why can't we just agree that the scripts/direction/acting have been horrible instead?

There is no intrinsic reason why a D&D universe movie could not be entertaining, let alone anything other than a miserable failure.

You could totally have a cool movie based upon the D&D setting. Unfortunately the budget and brand of D&D as it relates to movies, is shite.

[Foxwarrior]

Well, D&D as its (current) creators (seem to) imagine it is some form of exceptionally generic fantasy setting with no real sense of purpose, but a few spells and creatures that they are proud of having invented. So nothing they like about the games makes for a particularly compelling movie.

[Username17]

The Book of Vile Darkness movie only makes sense from the same point of view as the Roger Corman Fantastic Four "movie". Or the Sony Spiderman reboot. Turns out that people lose the rights to make movies if they don't make movies with the rights they have. So if you're Sony, and you don't make a Spiderman movie, you have to give the rights back to the owner of Spiderman - who is now Disney.

So back in the 90s, TSR sold the rights to make D&D movies off for ass wipe money, and if a movie isn't made it will presumably go back to the current owners of D&D - Hasbro. Hasbro, like Disney, wouldn't be interested in licensing the movie rights away again unless a large pile of money was on the table.

So basically, The Book of Vile Darkness was probably cheaper to make than it would be to renegotiate the rights with Hasbro. I mean shit, they basically just seem to have filmed some LARPers, right? The movie probably doesn't need to get distributed, just made. Like the Roger Corman Fantastic Four it can probably just sit on a shelf in potentia and satisfy contractual requirements to keep the movie rights from reverting.

-Username17

[Doom]

The only thing that makes it a possible watch is it's on sci-fi (or whatever spelling it is nowadays)...by sci-fi standards, a movie that shows the back of Nicolas Cage's head of 90 minutes, no dialogue, would be "above average".

So, at least they have some material and a low bar. Alas, playing Pathfinder tonight and it's not likely to end until 9 CT, so not much chance...haven't bothered to see if they're chain-showing, though I reckon they are.

[Lago PARANOIA]

There is no intrinsic reason why a D&D universe movie could not be entertaining, let alone anything other than a miserable failure.

See, the problem with a D&D universe movie is that the canned settings generally suck and/or aren't appropriate introductions for an audience to get into. Dark Sun and Ravenloft would make great settings for a TV miniseries for example, but as a movie experience that's supposed to last less than two and a half hours you're either going to have to dumb down the setting or dumb down the D&D wank.

You could of course just make your own D&D setting. The problem with that is that you could just jolly well make your own generic potboiler fantasy setting and not have to purchase the license or worry about appeasing fanboys. The further problem is that the D&D license is a double-edged sword in terms of being an audience hook. While the suggestion of a fantasy movie with elves and wizards and fireballs won't these days get you laughed out of the room like in the pre-LotR movie days (or the pre-WoW days more accurately), it's still a property that will automatically produce some skepticism on the average layman's party. This isn't a deal breaker since Twilight and Justin Beiber still make money, but the thing is... those properties actually have rabid fans. When was the last time nerds, even hardcore TTRPG nerds, squeed and geeked out over the mere mention of D&D? I mean, the Megaman and Firefly and Sailor Moon fans can and will decloak and swarm over any news related to their series. Mentions of D&D right now are an invitation to flame-bait or even a license to meh. And this is among actual fans!


Those factors considered, I don't see a good D&D movie being made unless it's:

A.) Part of an indie fanboy labor of love that bucks all probability and becomes the next Clerks. Smart money is on it becoming the next Kickassia at best.

B.) Some other company pulls a Disney/Marvel and buys the license from Hasbro. A movie gets made as a loss leader hoping to hype a new line of D&D merchandise. It bucks all probability and becomes the next Iron Man. Smart money is on it becoming the next Batman Forever at best.

C.) Someone makes a TV miniseries or animation product of an existing setting or their own work and it's successful enough to get its own movie. It bucks all probability and becomes the next Serenity. Smart money is on it becoming the next Family Guy: The Star Wars Parody at best.

[Juton]

Those factors considered, I don't see a good D&D movie being made unless it's:

A.) Part of an indie fanboy labor of love that bucks all probability and becomes the next Clerks. Smart money is on it becoming the next Kickassia at best.

It's funny I was thinking the exact same thing. Fantasy movies work if you can play up their epicness or if you go 180 and roll with some of the goofier things and make it kind of a comedy. Less Lord of the Rings and more Hercules the Legendary Journeys. So instead of 4 heroes saving the world from an army of evil dragons. have 4 funny idiots trying to loot a dungeon.

[hyzmarca]

They could just make a Drizzt movie. Those books are popular, and can be adapted decently enough. Don't even use the D&D trademark. Just call it Icewind Dale or something. People who know D&D will recognize it. People who don't know D&D won't recognize it, and thus there won't be the same negative connotations.

[Lago PARANOIA]

But that just goes back to the problem of 'why does this need to be specifically a D&D movie'? There is plenty of stuff to parody or poke fun of in the fantasy genre without even needing to touch D&D specifically. See: 8-Bit Theater, DM of the Rings, the Shadows Over Riva Let's Play, etc..

[codeGlaze]

[...] So instead of 4 heroes saving the world from an army of evil dragons. have 4 funny idiots trying to loot a dungeon.

As long as it doesn't end up with one of the characters wearing a minotaur's penis around their neck, I'd watch it.

[Darth Rabbitt]

[...] So instead of 4 heroes saving the world from an army of evil dragons. have 4 funny idiots trying to loot a dungeon.

As long as it doesn't end up with one of the characters wearing a minotaur's penis around their neck, I'd watch it.

That reminds me of a game where dried ogre penis was a rare and valuable commodity, which we found out after our party's half-ogre fighter tried doing certain things to certain people in town, and he was castrated...

[Josh_Kablack]

Last night I watched Battleship.

As expected, it was not a good movie, and that had a lot to do with the script.
However the script was phenomenal for satisfying a truly absurd list of constraints

• Since the property now involves both the classic naval game and an outer space spinoff, there had to be a war featuring both spaceships and naval ships.
• To reflect the gameplay, there had to be a scene wherein the enemies couldn't see each other and had to shoot blindly at grind points.
• Since the name of the game is Battleship, there had to be a reason to use an actual battleship - even though the last battleships were decommissioned almost 20 years ago.
• Since the film required use of actual military assets, the script had to espouse recruitment-drive levels of "support our troops"ishness and massively downplay the actual hardships of real military service.

Speaking as a D&D fan, it would be nice to see a film with the D&D name stamped on it pay half as much attention to the D&D property as that film did to the Battleship property. And well, if I'm not a D&D fan, then stamping the D&D name on a fantasy film is not going to in any way interest me in seeing that film.

[Leress]

Hahah, I am right watching a scene were the main character is buying items from a magic shop. It is definitely 4th Ed Dungeons and Dragons.

[hyzmarca]

Last night I watched Battleship.

The funny thing about the Battleship movie is that if you look at it critically it's very anti-military. If you notice, the aliens don't shoot first and they often go out of their way to avoid inflicting unnecessary causalities until they're pushed. And from that perspective it's the story of some gung-ho navy officers totally screwing up first contact.

Indeed, there's one scene with an alien POW is completely ignoring a guy who is wailing on him until the human picks up a weapon. At up until his life is actually in danger he's like "dude, leave me alone, I really don't want to hurt you."


And the Evil Magic Chick seems to know Bigby's slapping hand. Someone was paying attention to the obscure but iconic utility spells.

[Shrapnel]

Someone makes a TV miniseries or animation product of an existing setting or their own work and it's successful enough to get its own movie. It bucks all probability and becomes the next Serenity. Smart money is on it becoming the next Family Guy: The Star Wars Parody at best.

The old Sunbow D&D cartoon was actually pretty cool. I believe the setting was Greyhawk.

Fun fact: Several of the characters from the cartoon make a cameo in the Transformers episode "A Deceptacon Raider in King Arthur's Court".[sic]

I was gonna go somewhere with this, but my computer crashed and I lost most of the stuff I wrote, and I cannot remember what it was.

[Koumei]

As long as it doesn't end up with one of the characters wearing a minotaur's penis around their neck, I'd watch it.

I'm sorry but that there is a dealbreaker.

Anyway, it might be cheaper to make a really shit movie than to renegotiate rights with Hasbro, but... would it not be cheaper still to just let them have the rights? I mean, you don't lose anything worthwhile by Hasbro taking the rights back - if you weren't going to make a big-seller anyway, then it doesn't matter. Or is the idea seriously that they're putting spare change down to hold onto it in case D&D becomes massively popular and they're holding a winner? (Which would first require Hasbro selling the rights to D&D as a game to someone else)