[NSFW]Terrible Things You Never Wanted To Know

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Thu Dec 20, 2012 5:54 pm

Every day I work on this essay, I learn things I never wanted to know. But now that I do know them, I wish to share.

Case in point: it should surprise no-one that there are things Amazon.com refuses to sell through their online store. Whether out of ethical and moral qualms, or just legal implications, you're not going to be able to buy a human skull cup or child porn directly through Amazon. That's probably for the best. However, this does lead to some occasional weirdness. For example, Amazon will not sell any Kindle ebook erotica that deals with incest.

"Bullshit!" You say, madly typing 'Kindle incest' into your search engine. "There's 1,917 titles with incest in their online store!" - and this is absolutely correct. But click on them. Go ahead, you're on safe browsing. Every single one of those e-fuckbooks ensures that it's "pseudo-"incest pretty clearling the description - stepmothers & stepsons, stepsisters & stepbrothers, stepfathers & stepdaughters - no sexual contact between actual blood relations. Because the people writing this shit have learned their lesson, and they want to sell on the lucrative Amazon.com market.

Now, I had found this out because I was researching Brian McNaughton (we've talked about this, The Skinzine Letter) and tracking down some of the adult novels he'd written under a pseudonym. Those are mostly extremely tawdry porn from the 70s, when incest was much more acceptable wanking material than it is today. I don't know why, but it's just the fact of the matter. Anyway, trying to track this stuff down led me to specialty dealers. Yes, dubious websites selling old paperback fuckbooks, and in what is a very bizarre turn of events for this field, ebooks (typically .txt or equivalent .pdf) of these old books. I'm not clear on the copyright implications, but maybe they're legit; a lot of the old publishers didn't register their copyrights and the law changed in '78, so they may be public domain now. Anyway, there are a bunch on there that are "banned from Amazon!" because - you guessed it - they deal with incest.

Now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Thu Dec 20, 2012 6:16 pm

Speaking of terrible things, I shouldn't be the only one traumatized by this video.

Make it to the end. C'mon.

nockermensch · Post by **nockermensch** » Thu Dec 20, 2012 6:35 pm

shadzar

ishy · Post by **ishy** » Thu Dec 20, 2012 8:59 pm

There is a 50 shades of grey party game.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Thu Dec 20, 2012 9:06 pm

ishy wrote:There is a 50 shades of grey party game.

Does it come with rope, a ball gag, a whip and a bottle each of chloroform and 200 proof vodka?
Edit: wait, I think I found it:

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Thu Dec 20, 2012 10:31 pm

Maxus wrote:Speaking of terrible things, I shouldn't be the only one traumatized by this video.

Make it to the end. C'mon.

That was pretty cool actually.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Thu Dec 20, 2012 11:23 pm

Gay Anal Sex with a Horse can be lethal.
I did not need to know about Mr.Hands and this fact, but there it is, i have no way of forgetting about it x.x

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Thu Dec 20, 2012 11:45 pm

If anyone ever thought being pounded by an aroused animal that could exert 14.9 hp was not lethal then...I have no words.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:03 am

wait a minute... horsepower is named such because it's equivalent to one horse's worth of work. How can a horse exert more than one horsepower? That's like Hitler being called "worse than Hitler"...

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:06 am

The answer lies in the link you have failed to click, but basically that 14.9 figure is peak power, while 1 hp is average sustained power over a given period. Approximately.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:07 am

Ah, ok. Still weird.

virgil · Post by **virgil** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:09 am

Prak_Anima wrote:wait a minute... horsepower is named such because it's equivalent to one horse's worth of work. How can a horse exert more than one horsepower? That's like Hitler being called "worse than Hitler"...

There have been men described as having the strength of five men.

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:14 am

an aroused horse is probably at peak power.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:17 am

virgil wrote:
Prak_Anima wrote:wait a minute... horsepower is named such because it's equivalent to one horse's worth of work. How can a horse exert more than one horsepower? That's like Hitler being called "worse than Hitler"...
There have been men described as having the strength of five men.

...fair enough. So you saying the man in question was making love to Comet, the Superhorse?

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:19 am

Comet was actually a centaur were-horse, which is all the more fucked up because he was in love with Supergirl. Let us not speak more of Comet.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:20 am

i was just about to mention that little factoid . .
let's go with the alternative then:
why
http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html
can never ever have sex with an earthen woman and probably needs to take another look at his sister/cousin or whatever she is nowadays in terms of keeping the species alive . .[/url]

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:25 am

A superman/wonder woman relationship has also been posited.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:30 am

Seeing how she is made from clay, or is an earthen woman, she is more closely related to a cauliflower than to superman in terms of genetics. no such luck. sex would probably work, though.

Libertad · Post by **Libertad** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:30 am

White supremacists talk about D&D.

Then one of them makes a homebrew setting for Rifts or something.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:33 am

Maxus wrote:Speaking of terrible things, I shouldn't be the only one traumatized by this video.

Make it to the end. C'mon.

What the fuck did I just watch?

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:35 am

OK. yeah, that is actually kinda scary.

I mean I've always assumed there was some write up of this sort of stuff online. But reading it scared me.

Being an Indian who has been messed around by White power dickdouches, this sort of shit always freaks the fuck out of me.

Libertad · Post by **Libertad** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:45 am

Cynic wrote:OK. yeah, that is actually kinda scary.

I mean I've always assumed there was some write up of this sort of stuff online. But reading it scared me.

Being an Indian who has been messed around by White power dickdouches, this sort of shit always freaks the fuck out of me.

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope that someone's stopped them from harassing you.

Apparently the discussion of fictional fantasy races in games causes these dicks to self-project their bigotry into the game. Unfortunately D&D (and some other fantasy fiction) has some old-timey prejudices scattered about, which don't help matters. When you've got stuff like Drow's skin turning black by an Elf Goddess to "mark their evilness," it's inevitable that some skinhead punk will get way too interested and poison the hobby.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 1:44 am

Maxus wrote:Speaking of terrible things, I shouldn't be the only one traumatized by this video.

Make it to the end. C'mon.

I want to, but I'm scared. I need to know more before I take the plunge.

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 2:15 am

@Libertad: It happened several years ago and it's in the past and I know how to handle myself better.

DSMatticus · Post by **DSMatticus** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 2:22 am

Shrapnel wrote:
Maxus wrote:Speaking of terrible things, I shouldn't be the only one traumatized by this video.

Make it to the end. C'mon.
I want to, but I'm scared. I need to know more before I take the plunge.

It is a surreal horror animated music video, featuring teen hijinks at a closed pool and a magical land of wonder and mystery. It is pretty WTF-y. But I can't spoil it. Then it wouldn't be fun.