Let's Play Fighting Fantasy #7: Island of the Lizard King

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Taking a break from Let's Plays after this. Should I do more of these later on?

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Darth Rabbitt
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Let's Play Fighting Fantasy #7: Island of the Lizard King

Post by Darth Rabbitt »

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Kidnapped by a vicious race of Lizard Men from Fire Island, the young men of Oyster Bay face a grim future of slavery, starvation and a lingering death. Their new master is the mad and dangerous Lizard King, who holds sway over his land of mutants by the eerie powers of black magic and voodoo. YOU are the only one who can hope to rescue the suffering prisoners, but do you have the courage to risk this dangerous mission?

Ian Livingstone, co-founder of the highly successful Games Workshop and editor of White Dwarf, has created a thrilling sword and sorcery adventure, complete with an elaborate combat system and an adventure sheet to record your gains and losses. All you need is two dice, a pencil and an eraser.

Six more Fighting Fantasy books are published in Puffin: The Warlock of Firetop Mountain, The Citadel of Chaos, The Forest of Doom, Starship Traveler, City of Thieves and Deathtrap Dungeon.

HOW TO FIGHT THE CREATURES OF FIRE ISLAND

Before embarking on your adventure, you must first determine your own strengths and weaknesses. You have in your possession a sword and a backpack containing provisions (food and drink) for the trip. You have been preparing for your quest by training yourself in swordplay and exercising vigorously to build up your stamina.

To see how effective your preparations have been you must first use the dice to determine your initial SKILL and STAMINA scores. [references to the book's character sheet cut]
Skill, Stamina, and Luck

Roll one die. Add 6 to the result. This is your SKILL score.

Roll two dice. Add 12 points to the result. This is your STAMINA score.

Roll one die. Add 6 to the result. This is your LUCK score.

(I rolled up a SKILL 12 STAMINA 22 LUCK 11 character. Not quite as good as Dirk von Facestabber, but who is? I'm amazed I'm repeatedly rolling up good to great characters for these.)

For reasons that will be explained below, SKILL, STAMINA, and LUCK scores change constantly during an adventure. You must keep an accurate record of these scores. [advice on writing them down in provided space cut] Although you may be awarded additional SKILL, STAMINA, and LUCK points, these totals may never exceed your Initial values, except on very rare occasions, when you will be instructed on a particular page.

Your SKILL score reflects your swordsmanship and general fighting expertise; the higher the better.
Your STAMINA score reflects your general constitution, your will to survive, your determination and overall fitness; the higher your STAMINA score the longer you will be able to survive.
Your LUCK score indicates how naturally lucky you are. Luck - and magic - are facts of life in the fantasy kingdom you are about to explore.
(For Battles, I'm writing down my own synopsis of how they're supposed to work because in the early titles the explanation is awkwardly worded.)

Battles
1. Roll two dice. Add your opponent's SKILL score to the roll. The total is your opponent's Attack Strength.
2. Roll two dice again. Add your SKILL score to the toll. The total is your Attack Strength.
3. If your opponent's Attack Strength is higher than yours, the opponent has inflicted damage on you - deduct 2 points from your STAMINA.
4. If your attack strength is higher than your opponent's, you have inflicted damage upon your opponent. Deduct 2 points from your opponent's STAMINA.
5. If both Attack Strengths are equal, both attacks have missed. Start the next Attack Round from step 2, above.
6. Continue this combat until either your opponent's or your STAMINA is reduced to zero.

(I will roll battles whenever we enter one, and show turn-by-turn rolls if that is desirable.)
Escaping
On some pages you may be given the option of running away from a battle should things be going badly for you. However, if you do run away, the creature automatically gets in one wound on you (subtract 2 STAMINA points) as you flee. Such is the price of cowardice. Note that you may use LUCK on this wound in the normal way (see below.) You may only Escape if that option is specifically given to you on the page.
Fighting More Than One Creature
If you come across more than one creature in a particular encounter, the instructions on that page will tell you how to handle the battle. Sometimes you will treat them as a single monster, sometimes you will fight each one in turn.
Luck
On occasion, you will be called upon to Test Your Luck. When this occurs, roll two dice. If the result is equal to or less than your current LUCK score, then you have been Lucky. If the result exceeds your current LUCK score, then you have been Unlucky and you will be penalized. Each time you Test your Luck, you must subtract one point from your current LUCK score. Thus, you will soon realize that the more you rely on your LUCK, the more risky this will become.
Using Luck in Battles
You can use your LUCK in combat to inflict a particularly serious wound, or to minimize a wound that has been inflicted on you.

Whenever you wound an opponent, you may Test your Luck. Roll two dice; if the total score is equal to or less than your LUCK score, you have been Lucky. If the total is higher than your LUCK score, you are Unlucky. Whatever your result, you must deduct 1 point from your current LUCK score. If you are Lucky, you have inflicted a severe wound: deduct an extra 2 points from your opponent's STAMINA. If you are Unlucky, you have merely grazed him, and you deduct 1 less point of STAMINA than normal.

If you have been wounded, you can Test your Luck in exactly the same way. Remember to deduct 1 point from your LUCK whatever the result. If you are Lucky, the wound was only a glancing blow and you can deduct 1 less point of STAMINA than usual. If you are Unlucky, the wound is more serious: deduct 1 extra STAMINA point.

(Won't use this unless instructed to by y'all; LUCK is freakishly important out of combat in this, that much I do remember.)
Restoring Skill, Stamina, and Luck
Skill
Your SKILL score will not change much during your adventure. Occasionally, a page may give instructions to increase or decrease your SKILL score. A Magic Weapon may increase your SKILL, but remember that only one weapon can be used at a time! You cannot claim 2 SKILL bonuses for carrying two Magic Swords. Your SKILL score can never exceed its Initial value unless specifically instructed. Drinking the Potion of Skill (see later) will restore your SKILL to its Initial level at any time.

Stamina and Provisions
Your STAMINA score will change a lot during your adventure as you fight monsters and undertake arduous tasks. As you near your goal, your STAMINA level may be dangerously low and battles may be particularly risky, so be careful!
Your backpack contains enough Provisions for ten meals. You may rest and eat at any time except when engaged in a Battle. Eating a meal restores 4 STAMINA points. [another bit on writing things down cut] Remember that you have a long way to go, so use your Provisions wisely!

Remember also that your STAMINA score may never exceed its Initial value unless specifically instructed on a page. Drinking the Potion of Strength (see later) will restore your STAMINA to its Initial level at any time.

Luck
Additions to your LUCK score are awarded through the adventure when you have been particularly lucky. Details are given on the pages of the book. Remember that, as with SKILL and STAMINA, your LUCK score may never exceed its Initial value unless specifically instructed on a page. Drinking the Potion of Fortune (see later) will restore your LUCK to its Initial level at any time, and increase your Initial LUCK by 1 point.
EQUIPMENT AND POTIONS
You will start your adventure with a bare minimum of equipment, but you may find or buy other items during your travels. You are armed with a sword and are dressed in leather armor. You have a backpack to hold your Provisions and any treasures you may come across.

In addition, you may take one bottle of a magic potion which will aid you on your quest. You may choose to take a bottle of any one of the following:

A Potion of Skill - restores SKILL points
A Potion of Strength - restores STAMINA points
A Potion of Fortune - restores LUCK points and adds 1 to Initial LUCK

These potions may be taken at any time during your adventure (except when engaged in a Battle.) Taking a measure of potion will restore SKILL, STAMINA, and LUCK to their Initial level (and the Potion of Fortune will add 1 point to your Initial LUCK score before LUCK is restored).

Each bottle of potion contains enough for one measure, i.e. the characteristic may be restored once during an adventure. Make a note when you have used up a potion.

Remember also that you may only choose one of the three potions to take on your trip, so choose wisely!

(I'm assuming Luck Potion again? Speak now, or forever hold your peace.)
BACKGROUND
Oyster Bay is a quiet fishing-village some sixty miles down the coast from the notorious Port Blacksand. Because it is at the end of a long peninsula reached only by a steep and winding path, the fishermen and their wives are left to lead a simple but content life, away from the monsters and sorcery of the hinterland.

Journeying south from Fang, you decide that you could do with a few days' rest, and knowing of no more peaceful place than Oyster Bay, you urge your horse towards the coast. Besides, an old adventuring friend of yours called Mungo lives there and it has been years since you last saw him.

(I imagine he got his name after visiting Little Lamplight. I fucking hate those brats, I hope Mungo taught them a lesson or two.)

Two days later you arrive at the edge of the cliffs overlooking Oyster Bay. It is a beautiful sunny morning and everything looks tranquil below. Nothing seems to have changed. The cluster of stone cottages nestles between the foot of the cliffs and the jetty, where a dozen fishing boats lie at anchor. You jump off your horse and walk it down the winding path to the village. The first people you see are a group of crying women. As you approach them, several men step out of a cottage and run towards you. One of the four is your old friend Mungo. His weather-beaten face is full of anger. He looks surprised to see you but wastes no time with words of welcome. He recounts the sad events that have befallen the village.

Having no gold or material wealth, the people of Oyster Bay thought themselves safe from raiders attacking their village. But several weeks ago, while most of the men were out at sea, the Lizard Men of Fire Island landed their boats in Oyster Bay and kidnapped several young men. Mungo believes that they are now enslaved on Fire Island and working in chain gangs in the gold mines. Since the kidnapping, two men were left to guard the village while the rest went out to fish. Despite this, the Lizard Men attacked again this very morning, overpowering the guards and taking away more young men. Mungo tells you that he is about to set sail for Fire Island alone because the other fishermen are too scared to set foot on the island. He stares at you in silence until you smile and say that you will aid him in his quest. He slaps you on the back and shakes your hand in gratitude. For the moment the poor fishing folk forget their grief and crowd round you, eager to thank you. Mungo then invites you to dine with him and rest awhile, as the voyage to Fire Island will take several hours. Over a delicious feast of boiled lobster and salad, you discuss your plans.

(The young men of Oyster Bay and the Lizard Men of Fire Island lived in harmony. But everything changed when the Fire Island attacked.)

Mungo tells you that he does not think humans live on Fire Island any longer, but his knowledge is fairly limited. These are just rumors that pass between fishermen from other coastal villages; however, it is known that Fire Island used to be a prison colony, guarded by a tribe of paid Lizard Men. This was a rather futile attempt by Prince Olaf to rid his land of undesirable characters. The good prince soon learned that it would have been simpler to put his lawful citizens on Fire Island and leave the evil-doers on the mainland; there were just too many of them. He gave up his attempt and abandoned the prison colony. When the Lizard Men received no pay, they took their vengeance out on the prisoners and the island became a place of terror, ruled by a Lizard Man prison-guard who proclaimed himself King. The prisoners were forced to dig mines in the hope of finding gold for the Lizard King. They were underfed and ill-treated and many died; that is presumably why the Lizard King is sending out his men to find new slaves. It is known that in order to assert his authority, the Lizard King began practicing voodoo and black magic. He also started genetic experiments in an attempt to breed an invincible race of Lizard Men. Most of the experiments went wrong. Grotesque mutants were created, and some of the harmful potions found their way into the water drains, with terrible consequences. The local flora and fauna were affected, with the result that man-eating plants and giant beasts evolved. A few of the prisoners managed to escape the island on rafts and were picked up by fishermen, but what has happened in the last few years, nobody knows. Fire Island had almost been forgotten until the recent raids. Success in your quest to assassinate the Lizard King and rescue the kidnapped victims is doubtful, but you must try.

(So Fire Island is basically Australia. Got it.)

You stand up and walk down to the jetty with Mungo, stepping aboard his small fishing boat. In the sight of cheering villagers, you untie the boat and push out to sea, wondering if you will ever return.

NOW TURN OVER
Image
Mungo's years with the fishermen of Oyster Bay have made him a skillful boatman. He swiftly hoists the sail of the small boat and sets a course due west across the silvery-blue sea. The land soon recedes to the distance, and you sit back on the deck, relaxing in the afternoon sunshine. From the stern you hear merry whistling, the creak of the rudder, and Mungo occasionally calling out to a seabird passing overhead. You think about the good times you used to have with Mungo, his constant cheerful nature and willingness to help people in need. You find it difficult to believe that so much evil exists in the land when there live the likes of Mungo. As the hours drift by, you talk and laugh, trying to ignore the dangers ahead. Mungo is always one to tell a tale and he is now telling you about his father and how he used to work in a traveling circus. "He was a big man, big as a mountain," laughs Mungo, "and he would do just about anything for a paying crowd. Wrestle Trolls, have elephants stand on him, and even let a Killer Bee sting him! He was a tough old customer, but he finally met his match in the north. The circus was in Fang as one of the attractions during the festivities surrounding the Trial of Champions, and my father decided on a whim to enter. He walked into Deathtrap Dungeon and, alas, was never seen again. He was really too old for such an ordeal, although there was no telling him that. But at least he tried."

Just as Mungo is about to tell you his next tale, he jumps up and shouts, "Land ahoy!" at the top of his voice, as though he were yelling the news to the crew of a galleon. You look to where he is pointing and see Fire Island in the distance. The island sits on the sea like a green cushion, with a jagged mountain protruding from it. Smoke gently curls up from its top: a volcano's fuming anger waiting to explode.

Mungo steers the boat towards a small inlet at the eastern tip of the island, hoping that it will remain concealed between the high rocks. You both put on your backpacks and clamber out of the boat to begin your quest to find the Lizard King.

Do you wish to scramble round the rocks to the beach in the cove on your left or clamber over the rocks on the other side of the inlet to the beach in the cove to your right?

Adventure Sheet:
Dirk O'Killitwithfire (since that was second most popular by a lot in the last Let's Play, I'm using it for our character here, unless there are objections. Fun fact: Dirk O'Killitwithfire has no special ability to kill things with fire.)
SKILL: 12/12
STAMINA: 22/22
LUCK: 11/11
Equipment: Sword, Leather Armor
Potions: [to be determined, either Skill, Strength or Fortune... I'm assuming Fortune again.]
Provisions: 10 meals

EDIT: added poll
Last edited by Darth Rabbitt on Mon Mar 11, 2013 1:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Korgan0 »

Righty tighty, lefty loosey. Right it is.
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Post by OgreBattle »

I Clamber
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

You soon reach the beach but duck back down behind the rocks when you see what is happening. A rowing-boat has been dragged on to the beach, obviously by the six PIRATES who are standing around a large chest. You look at Mungo and discuss what to do.

Do you wish to attack the Pirates or rather climb back to the inlet and over the beach in the other cove?
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Post by Korgan0 »

There probably wouldn't be an ostensibly difficult encounter this early on if there wasn't something to it, so let's attack the pirates.
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Post by OgreBattle »

KILL
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Post by CapnTthePirateG »

Murdermurdermurdermurdermurdermurder
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Post by Dr_Noface »

Darth, you might consider doing drunken style reviews in the future, as I'm sure we're missing golden moments in our playthroughs.
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

(Drunken style reviews of the FF books? Or something else?)

You draw your swords and run down on to the beach hoping to catch the Pirates off guard. You manage to cut two down before they are able to draw their cutlasses and then you each fight two of the remaining four at the same time.

First PIRATE SKILL 7 STAMINA 7
Second PIRATE SKILL 8 STAMINA 6

Both Pirates will make a separate attack on you in each Attack Round, but you must choose which of the two you will fight. Attack your chosen Pirate as in a normal battle. Against the other you will throw for your Attack Strength in the normal way, but you will not wound him if your Attack Strength is greater; you must just count this as though you have defended yourself against his blow. Of course, if his Attack Strength is greater he will wound you.

Combat Log:
Pirates 15, 14; Dirk 22, 20. Pirate B is at 4.
Pirates 15, 13; Dirk 20, 18. Pirate B is at 2.
Pirates 12, 15; Dirk 21, 19. Pirate B is dead.
Pirate 11, Dirk 21. Pirate A is at 5.
Pirate 16, Dirk 16. Tie.
Pirate 17, Dirk 18. Pirate A is at 3.
Pirate 11, Dirk 18. Pirate A is at 1.
Pirate 15, Dirk 22. Pirate A is dead.
You look round to see Mungo fighting the last remaining pirate- the captain! Before you can help him, the captain lunges forward, piercing poor Mungo through the chest. He lets out an anguished cry and drops on to the golden sand in a crumpled heap. The captain turns to face you, a grotesque sneer on his face, distorted by a long black scar running down the left side. You charge at the captain, seeking to avenge Mungo.

PIRATE CAPTAIN SKILL 10 STAMINA 6

Combat Log:
Captain 20, Dirk 21. Captain is at 4.
Captain 17, Dirk 16. Dirk is at 20.
Captain 19, Dirk 23. Captain is at 2.
Captain 14, Dirk 18. Captain is dead.
(Mungo, I hath avenged thee!)

The sand all around Mungo is red with blood. You kneel down beside him and gently lift his head in your arms. His eyes open a little and he manages a smile despite his agony. In a whisper he says, "Well, we got them, but a lot of good it did me. Make sure you get the Lizard King for me, won't you?" Then his eyes close and he slumps down dead. You bury him on the beach near the cliff, marking the grave with his sword skewered into the sand. You see a narrow goat-track leading up the side of the cliff and then look back at the chest lying on the beach.

Do you wish to walk up the goat-track or open the chest?

Adventure Sheet:
Dirk O'Killitwithfire
SKILL: 12/12
STAMINA: 20/22
LUCK: 11/11
Equipment: Sword, Leather Armor
Potions: Potion of Fortune
Provisions: 10 meals
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Post by Dr_Noface »

Oh, I meant the Fighting Fantasy books.

Also, chest. Hopefully the pirates weren't burying their potion of misfortune.
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Post by Korgan0 »

Chest.
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Post by Ikeren »

Chest

Also, I have this hunch the other path would have also swiftly lead to your friends death.
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Post by angelfromanotherpin »

Ikeren wrote:I have this hunch the other path would have also swiftly lead to your friends death.
And not just any death...

But a very TGD death...

En garde, bitches!
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

You prise open the chest and are surprised at its contents - iron bars! The captain must have tricked his crew into believing they were burying treasure and the real treasure is probably still on board his ship, not that it will do him much good now. You decide to put one of the iron bars in your backpack and walk over to the goat-track to climb the cliff.

You wend your way up the goat-track and are quite exhausted by the time you reach the top. You take a swig of water from your flask and realize that water shortage could be a problem on this island. Heading west, you see the daunting sight of the sleeping volcano standing above the trees, but no sign of life - although you can certainly hear it: a cacophony of bird and insect noise. With the light quickly fading you decide to camp down for the night behind some rocks. You do not sleep very well and are awake at first light, eager to set off. You decide to head directly west into the trees.

The undergrowth between the trees is dense; plants with long or broad leaves, some with spiny tips, vines, creepers, fungi, roots and flowers of all sizes, shapes and colors fighting for light and space in the humid jungle thicket. You have to use your sword to cut your way through it, and it is a long and slow business.

Do you wish to sit down and rest at the base of a great tree or rather continue hacking your way west?

Adventure Sheet:
Dirk O'Killitwithfire
SKILL: 12/12
STAMINA: 20/22
LUCK: 11/11
Equipment: Sword, Leather Armor
Potions: Potion of Fortune
Provisions: 10 meals
Items: Iron Bar
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Post by Korgan0 »

Keep on going. We'll probably get ambushed if we rest.
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Post by Ikeren »

Rest. We'll probably get ambushed if we rest.
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Post by ishy »

Hug the tree, maybe magical faeries will come out and ambush us.
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

A sweet smell floats down from the upper foliage of the tree which makes you feel relaxed and drowsy. As your eyelids droop, you do not see a thick vine lower itself down from the branches above. It silently wraps itself around your neck and starts to squeeze. You awaken, choking, and try to grasp your sword which is lying by your feet. Test your Luck. (9, Lucky.)

You stretch out and your fingertips reach your sword. By now you cannot breathe and your face is crimson with the veins bulging in your neck. You desperately hack at the vine until you cut through it and roll away out of its lethal range. You cough and rub your neck and watch the hideous vine drop purple sap. Although you are lucky to have escaped the clutches of the carnivorous tree, you have not escaped injury. Lose 1 SKILL point and 2 STAMINA points. Although still weary, you decide that it is better to keep on the move.

(One of the few potential insta-killls in this book. Fortunately we survived it.)

As you push your way slowly through the undergrowth, the hairs on the back of your neck start to prickle and you feel that you are being watched. You stand back, sword ready, watching the leaves for any sign of movement. Then three dark-skinned men step into view, each wearing only a crude loin-cloth. They are armed with stone clubs and long spears, but you are more alarmed to see that each wears a belt of shrunken heads. The HEADHUNTERS start to argue about who should kill you and earn the right to wear your head on his belt. Finally one steps forward. Fight them one at a time.

(Yes, really, they're described like that.)

First HEADHUNTER SKILL 6 STAMINA 6
Second HEADHUNTER SKILL 7 STAMINA 6
Third HEADHUNTER SKILL 6 STAMINA 7

Combat Log:
Headhunter A 13, Dirk 17. Headhunter A is at 4.
Headhunter A 14, Dirk 17. Headhunter A is at 2.
Headhunter A 11, Dirk 14. Headhunter A is dead.
Headhunter B 13, Dirk 17. Headhunter B is at 4.
Headhunter B 12, Dirk 16. Headhunter B is at 2.
Headhunter B 10, Dirk 18. Headhunter B is dead.
Headhunter C 9, Dirk 15. Headhunter C is at 5.
Headhunter C 13, Dirk 20. Headhunter C is at 3.
Headhunter C 11, Dirk 19. Headhunter C is at 1.
Headhunter C 9, Dirk 20. Headhunter C is dead.
(White power, assuming Dirk O'Killitwithfire is white.)

The Headhunters have no items of equipment on them, but have a hide bag containing bananas and coconuts. You save your own Provisions and eat the Headhunters' food. Add 1 STAMINA point. You wonder if their village is nearby, and decide to climb a tree to get a better view. From the top you see smoke rising not far away in the south-west; perhaps from a village. Directly west, you see the trees gradually thin out, and away in the far north-west, you see the daunting shape of the volcano. You climb down from the tree and plan which way to head.

Do you wish to keep going west or go north-west to circumvent the smoke?

Adventure Sheet:
Dirk O'Killitwithfire
SKILL: 11/12
STAMINA: 19/22
LUCK: 10/11
Equipment: Sword, Leather Armor
Potions: Potion of Fortune
Provisions: 10 meals
Items: Iron Bar
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Post by Blade »

I'm sad we don't get the possibility to sit down and rest in places where it's not dangerous to do so. :(

And I'll say head west, because there can't be smoke without fire, and there can't be fire without Dirk killing people with it.
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Post by Username17 »

How are sufficient bananas and coconuts for 3 people worth less than one of our provisions?

Goto Smoke.

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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

(Resting, like legs and context are, is for the weak. Also, Gauntlet has taught me that Meat restores more health than Fruit, and Dirk O'Killitwithfire's rations are probably filled with meaty goodness.)

As you hack your way through the quick undergrowth you hear the distant sound of drums coming from where you saw the smoke rising.

Do you wish to head southwest towards it or prefer to keep heading west?
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Post by Dr_Noface »

I feel confident in Dirk's ability to genocide.
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Post by Username17 »

How come going west was the thing we were doing instead of circumventing the smoke if we have to stop going west to avoid circumventing the smoke? There is a flaw in this description set.

Fine, we go SouthWest. There is Fire, and no O'Killitwithfire can resist combining fire and people into the delicious family recipe.

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Post by Blade »

No, we wanted to go west, the description was saying that the smoke was south-west and the game assumed that Dirk didn't want to go where the smoke came from. So the game gave us the choice of going northwest to be sure to avoid the smoke or west to keep on our way even if it meant going closer to the smoke.

Then we heard the drums, and the game assumed that this would make us reconsider the decision we hadn't taken not to go in the village.

But since we actually had taken that decision even when the game assumed we wouldn't, I'll say with stick with it.
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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

Image
The beating of the drums grows louder as you scramble through the undergrowth towards them. You also head chanting voices and deep humming. You crawl forward as quietly as you can until you reach the edge of a small clearing. There are several bamboo huts in a circle around the edge of the clearing. In the center of the clearing you see twelve Headhunters standing around a half-naked man tied to a post. One of the Headhunters, who is wearing a face-mask and head-dress, steps forward, his hands raised in the air. The drums instantly stop beating. Then a woman hands him a bone knife - the Headhunters are about to gain a new trophy. There are too many of them for you to fight at once, and you feel helpless. There is only one plan you can think of to distract the Headhunters, but it is dangerous.

Do you wish to take a burning branch from the fire in front of you and set some of the huts on fire or rather slip back into the jungle and continue west?

(This seems too awesome to not try but the choice is yours.)
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
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