So I watched the third D&D film tonight: The Book of Vile Darkness.
Surprisingly, it's actually pretty good. Sure, it's trashy, and low-budget, but you feel that whoever wrote it knows something about tabletop D&D. Far better than the first two, but that's not really an achievement...
The movie is about a Paladin of Pelor who, in the search of his father, joins an evil party and goes through some alignment changes. The party consists of aforementioned paladin, a shadar-kai sorceress, a goliath barbarian, a human assassin and some guy who is most likely an undead evil cleric. There aren't a lot of monsters, mainly a young red dragon, an undead child and a helmed horror, and of course people.
The movie contains more than a few in-jokes, about the greed of adventurers, inter-party banter and conflicts between 'good' and 'evil', and even a full-blown adventurer's market with all kinds of magic stuff for sale. Not to forget that a guy is vanished by putting him in a bag of holding, then throwing the bag into a lake....
It's a nice little fantasy movie, and great fun for any D&D fan.
What did you think?
Last edited by malak on Mon Dec 30, 2013 10:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Last edited by Prak on Tue Dec 31, 2013 12:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
Koumei wrote:I'm just glad that Jill Stein stayed true to her homeopathic principles by trying to win with .2% of the vote. She just hasn't diluted it enough!
Koumei wrote:I am disappointed in Santorum: he should carry his dead election campaign to term!
Just a heads up... Your post is pregnant... When you miss that many periods it's just a given.
I want him to tongue-punch my box.
]
The divine in me says the divine in you should go fuck itself.
Yeah, aside from the paedonecrophilia thing, the vermin lord was probably one of the more interesting characters, even just from an aesthetic stance.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
it is a film made from an old-school player making fun (in teh tradition of 4th edition advertising) at 3.x edition players, complete with the party arguing over who is better at X for no reason, a paladin character that doesn't know what the fuck he is doing, a bunch of pointless sex, and even has Magic Mart for WotC edition D&D.
remember the first two were made in the style of TSR-era D&D.
1. just a global slog to find an artifact. LotR emulation with LOTS O DRAGONS! (resembles B/X, BECMI Glantri Kingdom of Magic)
2. return to the dungeon! mentions many high profile classic adventure bits like GToI and Jubilex. it is kind of Merlin-esque. (the one with John Hurt as the voice of the dragon) pretty much just a "hamlet" where its own people must save it by going on a dungeon crawl and return with the artifact. (LotR anyone? White Plume Mountain?)
3. this one also had the evil party. which fits if you are a filmmaker and old-school palyer trying to say 3.x is evil that ruined D&D
the animated CYOA book and Dragonlance they both have to give some kind of credit to this guy in them and make him a part of them somehow.
it is as if BoVD was a response to Scourge of Worlds using the 3.x iconic PCs because he used 3.x material specifically to call out how stupid the ideas behind it was. the timing of the movie with the announcement of 4th edition might also paly a factor in that WotC was in part in favor of mocking 3rd at the time just like their "ze game will remain ze same" video.
it, like the others he made, were not good movies. he is like the transformers guy that makes bad stories and puts some hot chick in it to get people to watch them along with a bunch of flashy shit. Jeremy Irons bad acting i can see because i am used to it over 30 years, but Jimmy Olsen from Lois and Clark coupled with the Wayans brother just made the first one shit except for it being the first and had a half decent adventure set up.
Dragon God had a better story concept but still shitty delivery or the acting and story.
Snails death scene however was better than the whole of BoVD. maybe if they had cast Vin as the goliath and gave him some actual point of being there other than being killed by drowning in a BoH...
for anyone not familiar with 3.x and not familiar with BoVD the movie fails. it requires BOTH of those to understand it as the premise as shown at the beginning doesnt give me enough reason to care because, oh another quest for an artifact. at least Dragonlance had NOTHING set up to begin with and you got to learn what was going on without heavy foreshadowing.
hell even Scourge had little to no foreshadowing until after the orcs come!
it is like Courney sets him movies up as if he were Dungeon Master in the cartoon series and gives some cryptic info to the audience that is really jsut BBEG plot all laid out and then you just see what stupid idea he has to be you through the railroad. it worked for the cartoon because they were Earthlings transported to D&D world, but doing it to an audience means you have no movie worth watching.
BoVD is based on greed and collecting treasure for every member of the party. like 3.x edition players, the wants of the PCs outweigh their needs so there is nothing to really make the audience care about any of them.
Play the game, not the rules.
Swordslinger wrote:Or fuck it... I'm just going to get weapon specialization in my cock and whip people to death with it. Given all the enemies are total pussies, it seems like the appropriate thing to do.
Lewis Black wrote:If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer.
good read (Note to self Maxus sucks a barrel of cocks.)
...Shadzar, you just made a perfect metaphor to advance the idea that 3.5 and 4e are better games which better fulfill the desires of players and have more meaningful stories than OD&D or AD&D.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
no. just that 3.x and 4/E are shit concepts for bad stories like would be turned into trailer trash media like Jackass, the Natalie Portman movie where he wears a minotaur cock around his neck, and other immature 30-soemthing garbage from and for neanderthals. it is all flash in the pan from and for attention deficit cretins.
Last edited by shadzar on Wed Jan 01, 2014 8:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
Play the game, not the rules.
Swordslinger wrote:Or fuck it... I'm just going to get weapon specialization in my cock and whip people to death with it. Given all the enemies are total pussies, it seems like the appropriate thing to do.
Lewis Black wrote:If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer.
good read (Note to self Maxus sucks a barrel of cocks.)
OK I watched it. Thoroughly enjoyed it, it has been the most-D&D movie out of all of them, although I miss the campiness of the first one.
It had some jokes such as the shopkeep calling the armor "paragon tier not heroic" and the paladin using a Bag of Holding to store corpses.
The slaymate undead kid creeped me out though. Something about that mouth.
Since they're given plot coupon artifacts blessed by Pelor?
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
The Shadar Kai didn't quite have a chainmail bikini but with thighs exposed like that I suppose you don't need to worry about getting hit when your SCREAMS SHOOT PURPLE SKULLS.
she was completely nude and almost full frontal. why would she need a chainmail bikini?
Play the game, not the rules.
Swordslinger wrote:Or fuck it... I'm just going to get weapon specialization in my cock and whip people to death with it. Given all the enemies are total pussies, it seems like the appropriate thing to do.
Lewis Black wrote:If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer.
good read (Note to self Maxus sucks a barrel of cocks.)
for anyone interested Syfy is showing this tonight. i expect it will be masked in the bedroom scene, and the sex scene will be cut out entirely.
Play the game, not the rules.
Swordslinger wrote:Or fuck it... I'm just going to get weapon specialization in my cock and whip people to death with it. Given all the enemies are total pussies, it seems like the appropriate thing to do.
Lewis Black wrote:If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer.
good read (Note to self Maxus sucks a barrel of cocks.)
