Mixed Martial Arts

name_here · Post by **name_here** » Thu Jan 02, 2014 6:59 pm

He stormed off in a huff a while back because he'd made an alternate account that wasn't as virulently misogynist and we didn't hate it for being misogynist. Instead of figuring out that we might like him better if he didn't go off on hate-filled rants about women in general and his exes in particular, he decided we hated him personally.

Meikle641 · Post by **Meikle641** » Thu Jan 02, 2014 8:15 pm

He's alive, as far as I know. Saw his account in a MLP place once.

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Thu Jan 02, 2014 9:33 pm

It's okay, Sigma. You've convinced me. Even Secret Asian man needs a hobby.

erik · Post by **erik** » Thu Jan 02, 2014 11:16 pm

Meikle641 wrote:He's alive, as far as I know. Saw his account in a MLP place once.

And on memebase. Srsly not stalking you Count, the name just stands out in comments section. =-)

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Thu Jan 02, 2014 11:32 pm

Cynic wrote:It's okay, Sigma. You've convinced me. Even Secret Asian man needs a hobby.

I'm Irish, Dutch, and Native American. kthxbai

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Fri Jan 03, 2014 1:39 am

I don't necessarily think you're lying, Sigma. I don't necessarily believe it 100%, but I don't think anything you're saying is particularly unbelievable. I'm willing to believe it in the same manner that I'm willing to believe that it's possible. Most people are being skeptical, I think, because it sounds like generic Internet Tough Guy shit, but people who fight other people under controlled-ish conditions with the consent of all involved for fun exist. The inclusion of costumes isn't particularly outlandish, the fact that such a group in Washington would have government workers isn't outlandish, and the fact that it would attract celebrities for various reasons, or that someone in DC would meet celebrities for any number of reasons are not outlandish, either. People meet people, the relative publicness of people's lives doesn't change that.

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Fri Jan 03, 2014 2:17 am

Look, it doesn't matter if anyone believes me or not. My own goddamn best friends (non-government non-actor) and immediate family consider me psychotic and even with evidence they don't believe me. Its like some kind of deepset emotional rejection of a worldview that doesn't fit their notion of a suburban isolated paradise where you work a middle class job and live in a house with a big yard.

I'm counting down the weeks until I return to the capitol by the way. I'm so excited I can't sleep well.

As far as interacting with this forum specifically, a friend in the NSA took a look here years ago and said something along the lines of "They're all assholes."
I disagreed with him and he made fun of me for debating the merits of wizards versus fighters with strangers online.
I said "Look, you have your hobbies, I have mine."

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Fri Jan 03, 2014 3:12 am

I've shown the forum to friends too. "They're all assholes" is what they've said too. It could be the tagline under the site name:

The Gaming Den
We're all assholes.

OgreBattle · Post by **OgreBattle** » Fri Jan 03, 2014 10:45 am

I actually like TGDMB 'cause everyone seems to not be an asshole. Like on RPG.net people's feelings get hurt and then they really try to hurt each other through the internet, but here it's like "Suck a barrel of clocks!" is just a salty greeting

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Nice to see so many martial arts fans here. I've practiced Brazilian Jiujitsu and competed before. Also done some boxing and "Muay thai where my college classmates teach us the moves so I think it counts"

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Fri Jan 03, 2014 6:20 pm

For the last two days I've been writing down the names of every celebrity I've ever met in my life, and the list is beginning to look both discordant and ridiculous.
There's no pattern other than the fact that I've a fan of some, others are comedians, and others are MMA fighters.

Anyway, I recall 'teaching' a guy named Mark, this up-in-coming athlete and workout fanatic, pretty much every move I know. It took weeks but he practiced, sped it up, and beat me with my own combos.
He needed a name. I said "How about Deathmark"? So that's what he took. His win record is atrociously high, but I'd say it's attributed to his freakish power and speed rather than the fact that he's using some kind of shaolin/wing chun/American boxing/shoot fighting combination hobbled together secondhand.

I took a course with the guy from the "chinaboxer" YouTube videos to learn the soft art of wing chun "lop sau" among others. I was sparring with Kimbo Slice, since they were both staying in DC for a while due to the social aspects.

At one point in time it became so ridiculous that I just had to stop and laugh about it.
On some random weekend Mila Kunis and I were goofing off in the gym when no one was around.
She was doing this kind of leg crunch device where you squeeze your thighs together. I'm guessing it's a workout for the inner thigh.
I started making Russian jokes. "Time to say dasvidaniya to your cock! Crunch! Do it for mother country!". She leaned her head back and cackled.
I was shouting German on the bowflex when a Secret Service agent came in due to the noise. He was stunned at the fact that it was Mila goddamn Kunis working out in a gym for agents, this tall young man in a suit sat down and had a rather shy talk with her while I finished my routine.
On the way out she said "That's what I usually get when I meet a fan."

JigokuBosatsu · Post by **JigokuBosatsu** » Fri Jan 03, 2014 7:51 pm

MMA? That's the thing where guys hug for a long time, right?

I actually considered doing it 10ish years ago when I was a millworker and effectively invulnerable.

Also was hoping to give Seanbaby noogies.

As it is, with all my neuro problems I doubt I could punch myself in the dick without falling down. I do need to do some training, though. My littlest bro just went into the Marines, and my daughter (age 5) has decided she wants to join the stupid Corps as well. We made a deal. I told her that when she was older, if she wanted to do something I felt was dangerous or wrong like joining the Marines/finding Jesus/whatever, that I would give her my blessing if she defeated me in actual combat.

She's taking tae kwan do. Guess I need to pick up iaido again, since I can at least start from a sitting position.

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Fri Jan 03, 2014 8:01 pm

I've fought a few Marines. They tend to be big dumb muscle with a lot of anger behind it, which is worthless when you can't hit your fucking opponent or when you drop down low for a tackle you just get pummeled in the jaw, but there is a skinny intelligent Marine in my D&D Next group that doesn't fit the stereotype.
He hasn't been deployed but he has the skills.

An interesting evening back in 2011 was when I invited Jason Miller over to a friend's apartment for a D&D session. He was interested in trying it so it was his first time.
He wanted to try the spells out so he picked Wizard. He grabbed Magic Missile and Color Spray.
I told him about how weak a mage is in direct combat, as well as the spell slots issue, but he was persistent.
So, combat ensues and he casts Color Spray. Save was made, he didn't get mad about it, but tried again with Magic Missile in the next round. It didn't drop his target.
He hit it with his staff. Monster hits back, dropping the 6 HP down to, well, nothing.
I told him about how warrior classes might be better suited to what he was trying to do, but ultimately apologized for how stupid low level combat was in D&D and the poor design of 3e in general.
"At least I got to try it" he said.

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Fri Jan 03, 2014 8:39 pm

I was ecstatic when I got the chance to fight a young Chinese shaolin monk once.

We started the first round rather cautiously. It was pretty much like one of those east meets west martial arts fights you see online, like boxer vs monk.
He was too cautious and I backhanded him quickly.

Round two, he gets more aggressive, but monks are cautious. I throw a few spinning kicks and at one point we actually collide legs midair with the same move like a goddamn superhero movie. He backs off.

Round three, he goes all out. I had an adrenaline surge just to keep up and got into the trance, which made it easier to parry. I could see him breathing hard.
I swapped between wing chun, boxing, jeet kun do "Bruce Lee" low punches, and a trip, and he finally gives.

We hug and he says to me "Where. The hell. Did you. Learn shaolin fighting?"
I simply said "Internet"

Granted, he wasn't some 80 year old grand master from Tibet, but he was damned good. He beat the MMA fighters fairly regularly.

See, when I want to learn something like a martial arts move or guitar chord or dance step, I'm like Napolean Dynamite. I rewatch it about a dozen times, copy it, practice, and refine it.
Pays off.
A friend simply said "Autism."

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sat Jan 04, 2014 1:32 am

I fought Jesus the other day. He, Stephen Fry, Anita Queen and I were casually having dinner, as we so often do, playing a game of scrabble. I had just won the game with oxyphenylbutezone, and Jesus got angry - as he is known to do.

He flipped the table over and challenged anyone to a fight. I immediately punched him in the back of the head, from in front of him, then took him down into the crippler crossface. He tapped out in three seconds.

Sadly, it wasn't a sanctioned match, otherwise I could have won his title of Lord And Messiah.

The Vigilante · Post by **The Vigilante** » Sat Jan 04, 2014 1:54 am

Koumei wrote:I fought Jesus the other day. He, Stephen Fry, Anita Queen and I were casually having dinner, as we so often do, playing a game of scrabble. I had just won the game with oxyphenylbutezone, and Jesus got angry - as he is known to do.

He flipped the table over and challenged anyone to a fight. I immediately punched him in the back of the head, from in front of him, then took him down into the crippler crossface. He tapped out in three seconds.

Sadly, it wasn't a sanctioned match, otherwise I could have won his title of Lord And Messiah.

But I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

erik · Post by **erik** » Sat Jan 04, 2014 2:02 am

I shot Reno into a man, just to watch him die.

RadiantPhoenix · Post by **RadiantPhoenix** » Sat Jan 04, 2014 3:12 am

erik wrote:I shot Reno into a man, just to watch him die.

Reno or the guy you shot Reno into?

The Vigilante · Post by **The Vigilante** » Sat Jan 04, 2014 3:14 am

RadiantPhoenix wrote:
erik wrote:I shot Reno into a man, just to watch him die.
Reno or the guy you shot Reno into?

I'd say there is a high probability that Reno escaped the situation unscathed.

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Sat Jan 04, 2014 4:19 am

He shot Reno into Reno so that you could Reno while you Reno.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Sat Jan 04, 2014 4:23 am

I was going to link to a video of Dr. Boskonovitch from Tekken fighting in response to Jigoku talking about at least being able to start from a seating position with iaido, but apparently Boskonovitch doesn't flop around ineffectually nearly as much for a player who knows what the fuck they're doing...

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Sat Jan 04, 2014 4:34 am

Koumei wrote:I fought Jesus the other day. He, Stephen Fry, Anita Queen and I were casually having dinner, as we so often do, playing a game of scrabble. I had just won the game with oxyphenylbutezone, and Jesus got angry - as he is known to do.

He flipped the table over and challenged anyone to a fight. I immediately punched him in the back of the head, from in front of him, then took him down into the crippler crossface. He tapped out in three seconds.

Sadly, it wasn't a sanctioned match, otherwise I could have won his title of Lord And Messiah.

That wasn't even entertaining. I was hoping for something like ninja schoolgirls.

OgreBattle · Post by **OgreBattle** » Sat Jan 04, 2014 4:39 am

Sigma, do you have any photos of your adventures?

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Sat Jan 04, 2014 4:55 am

I was allowed to keep the photos I took of the model that wants to have my kid.
Everything else was stored on a friend's flash drive and deleted from my phone and laptop. My belongings were searched for any other storage devices and laptop was thoroughly looked at by a friend in the NSA.
It was part of the agreement for my probation, to decide if the things I've seen and done were real or not during my time away.
I had this problem with PTSD induced amnesia for a while due to the violent incidents I've encountered. I coped with humor and nymphomania, but it was dysfunctionally bad. I've recovered since but it's still a matter of waiting.

It wouldn't make a difference if I posted a photo of myself alone though since it could be some random schmuck found on imgur.
But I will upload both photos and videos when I return to the capitol, I promise. You can decide if it's real or not then. Just wait like I am.

EDIT: Oh and another thing, I made an FB page a while ago during my depressed period. It's linked to my FB account but not quite; you can Like it without being a friend. It has my real name and I'll be posting photos to it sometime so there's that.

JigokuBosatsu · Post by **JigokuBosatsu** » Sat Jan 04, 2014 10:42 pm

sigma999 wrote:I coped with humor and nymphomania

You're a lady?

Josh_Kablack · Post by **Josh_Kablack** » Sat Jan 04, 2014 10:56 pm

sigma999 wrote: As far as interacting with this forum specifically, a friend in the NSA took a look here years ago and said something along the lines of "They're all assholes."

That's surprising.

In that I do not generally expect that degree of competence from US intelligence services.