Drunken Review: Scion

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Post by Username17 »

This evening's booze is Skřivánkova Medovina, a 13% mead from Březské. It's very wine-like with the honey flavor as more of an aftertaste. It costs about 3 dollars a bottle because booze in the Moravian Highlands is as cheap as life. Personally, I think I prefer the Jan Halada. Anyway...

Chapter 10: Fate

This is a nine page chapter about how fate is something which either dominates things or maybe it doesn't. The jury is still out on that. Apparently there was an Age of Titans, and an Age of Gods, and both of those are over and this is the Age of Man. And that is either eventually going to end or not and either be replaced with something or not. For a chapter called "Fate", it is remarkably wishy washy. The entire intro section could really just be summed up in its own words:
Scion wrote:But this brings us no closer to understanding just what Fate is and how and why it operates as it does.
See, normally when people find themselves writing exposition that admits internally that it doesn't actually convey any information or elucidate any truths would edit that shit out. But Scion is a shovelware product and was badly in need of more wordcount in order to meet quotas. So descriptions of fate as a loom followed by a frank admission that the metaphor is completely useless is simply par for the course.

So the deal with the "chains of fate" is apparently that if you involve normal humans in your godly affairs, then Jungian story archetypes impose themselves on you and your life takes on a satisfying narrative structure whether you like it or not. That's insane. I'm not sure if it's insane in a good way or a bad way, but it's the kind of batshit out-there setting conceit that
I do not think you should have kept hidden until page 220 of this manuscript.

More to the point, I think if you're going to have Fate be this implacable and insane force that turns supernatural creatures into self destructive opera characters if they interact with humans, that no one knows if it is good or bad or even has any point at all - that there shouldn't be any "servants of fate". But apparently there are, and they apparently don't know if there is any point at all to the stuff they do all day. That seems very weak to me.

It also doesn't really jive with the earlier part of the book, which claimed these Chains of Fate were a reason for the gods to fuck mortals and fight proxy wars with each other rather than just having at it in wars across heaven. Boinking mortals would seem to be involving yourself with mortals, in the way that not boinking mortals would not be. And that similarly, fighting each other directly would be about the least "mortal involved" thing they could do. So this Fate tirade does not in fact do the heavy lifting of explaining what the fuck was up with the core setting concepts of gods withdrawing from the World except to slink around and get mortals pregnant and do all their Earthly activities through mortal agents. It just fucking doesn't.

The next part is a rambling tirade about how Fate and Free Will happen at the same time, and it just doesn't make any sense. It reminds me of a line from the opening fiction that at the time I thought was just really clumsy writing:
Scion Opening Fiction wrote:Some would call it happenstance or whim that inspired Eric’s next action, but Fate has a way of manipulating people such as he. It gifts them with curiosity, desire and free will, all of which ultimately serve its unknowable design.
At the time, I thought that was just a really clumsy sentence. But it turns out that is a post hoc addition to make the story fit with a really clumsy and nonsensical set of game metaphysics. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. The long winded explanations in the Fate chapter expound on that nonsensicality to make even less sense.

Now as to Fate Binding itself: it doesn't happen and it doesn't matter. When you spend a Legend point, the MC rolls a number of dice equal to your Legend. Your Legend is 4 if you are using this book, because that is the cap as both a starting character and the cap as to how high it can go without cracking open Demigod. The Threshold to have a Fate Binding is 4, and extra successes past 4 create Fate Bindings of various strengths (not how they describe it, but that's what happens). Also, Strength 1 Fate Bindings wear off in 24 hours and no one gives a fuck unless you get a Fate Binding Strength of at least 2. So you need to roll up 6 successes on 4 dice to get a Fate Binding of Strength 2. You know what the odds of that are? 93/10000. That's almost a 1% chance. Fate Bindings actually don't happen, or matter because of using your Legend. Even as a Demigod they don't happen or matter because of that shit. The only time Fate Binding actually occurs is when:
Scion wrote:The Storyteller might deem that a given scene is already weighted with the gravity of Fate. Perhaps the Scion’s rival has lured him to the scene of his mother’s murder or the place where he first discovered his heritage. In such places, pregnant with classic story motifs, the Storyteller might begin the scene with a lower difficulty for Fatebinding rolls.
Why are we rolling for this again? Just like the skill rolls, none of the dice mechanics actually do anything. People get Fated when the Storyteller wants them to, because it only happens when the Storyteller decides to lower the threshold arbitrarily and the roll is secret and the Storyteller is encouraged to cheat on it. It's a fudged die roll against a fudged difficulty. All the mechanics here are smoke and mirrors. The actual mechanics are that you get new Fate Bound groupies and recurring villains when the MC damn well feels like it and not at other times.

So what happens when people actually do get Fate Bound and it lasts for more than a day? Well, first of all it only happens to mortals and only to NPCs, which right away means that it doesn't make any sense in conjunction with either the tirade that this is why gods don't dare slap each other in the face or the tirade from two pages ago about how gods were afraid of being forced into narratives by mortal expectations. Fucking multiple author word salad. But what happens to these people is that their actions become definable in terms of Campbellian archetype characters. Note that a lot of these things are actually fire and forget characters like the "Canary" archetype who is the Black guy in your slasher film and has a very short career of providing the context that there is danger at hand. I'm not sure how you'd even notice that people were "fate bound" rather than just NPCs who either recurred or didn't (what with Fate Bindings being generally temporary and many characters getting killed all the time because this system is as ludicrously lethal to mortals as it is grindy as fuck for named characters).

Your fanclub gives you small dicepool bonuses when you try to do awesome things in their presence. This is presented as the chains of fate weighing you down. I am not making that up. Apparently the real reason the gods left the world is that it was too much of a hassle to keep track of all these +1 die bonuses for this and that while there were mortal worshipers around. It was like playing 4th edition D&D, and they'd just fucking had enough of it.

In addition to having fate bindings, and fate chainings, and fateed, and fate bound, which are all different in various subtle ways, we have fate auras. This goes on for a while of incoherent ramblings, but I'll let the book explain these things, because it actually does a better job than I could:
Scion wrote:The Fateful Aura is the Storyteller’s excuse for introducing what might otherwise seem like an entirely too-convenient plot device.
Yeah, there is an actual "lazy writing" excuse built right in to the game.
"Why did that happen?"
"Lazy writing Fateful Aura. Suck It."

The chapter ends with a tirade about how the best fiction is written in a trance where the author doesn't know where it's gonna go, and that's why the Storyteller should be just as confused by Fate as the players. And that's totally different from the Storyteller being confused by Fate because the description in the Fate chapter in the Storyteller section of the book doesn't make any fucking sense.

Next up: The Heroic Saga, where rather than just tell you what the fuck is going on, they give you some context-free adventure outlines and try to make you guess the backstory.
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Post by nockermensch »

All this talk about mythological characters, absurd unbalanced powers and the constant mentions of fate made me think this game maybe could be used for stating up Fate: Stay Night and other stuff from the Nasuverse.

But after actually reading Frank's review, I don't want to touch this book with a 10' pole. :(
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Post by hyzmarca »

nockermensch wrote:All this talk about mythological characters, absurd unbalanced powers and the constant mentions of fate made me think this game maybe could be used for stating up Fate: Stay Night and other stuff from the Nasuverse.

But after actually reading Frank's review, I don't want to touch this book with a 10' pole. :(
Fate/Stay Night is already a game. It's just a simple matter of transporting the Visual Novel rules and stats to a tabletop setting.
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Post by name_here »

So fatebinding is a supernatural power by which Scions can manipulate the very fabric of reality and the minds of their enemies into fitting with standard plots. That, uh, seems like a really awesome power.

Why is this something they don't want to do? I mean, I guess they could potentially get stuck in a shitty story where the main character and all of their friends suffer horribly for no reason, or have their plot manipulation suddenly fail them the exact second after it gets them into a one-sided fight and before getting them out, but still.

I remarked that it seemed like something to make them into an anime protagonist earlier, and apparently that is literally and exactly true. And one from a shiny happy show about the power of friendship and everything, given that they get bonuses from the presence of mortal allies. If your character is willing to go forth and fight monsters, I cannot imagine why they would want to pass up an opportunity to ensure their success and limit collateral damage to people they like.

I guess needing to dramatically yell "NOOOOO!" and rush in at the villain in a berserk rage when an ally gets hurt or risk jumping genres to NGE might suck, but still.
Last edited by name_here on Mon Apr 01, 2013 8:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Seramus »

Voss wrote:Anyway... I will be mildly surprised if White Wolf still exists in a couple years, so the threat of Scion mark 2 seems pretty low to me.
It's officially on the list to be made.
Koumei wrote:1. No it wasn't (one of the most awesome experiences). It was decidedly average, despite choosing Artemis (obviously) and treating it as the lesbo-raver/S&M orgy that they clearly expect all of their games to be.
Sounds like you had a bad storyteller.
Koumei wrote:2. No they won't (make another Scion), they don't have any money. They were bought up by a company from a country that doesn't have any money, too. Even if they do scrape some pennies together, they'll go to where the money is and make a newer Vampire, or rather, remake the old one.
Scion 2nd Edition is officially on the list for 2015.
Koumei wrote:3. No it won't (have rules that make sense). They have literally never managed anything close to the mark there.
It's being done by Onyx Path Publishing.
Last edited by Seramus on Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:07 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Post by Whipstitch »

Seramus wrote:Sounds like you had a bad storyteller.
How the fuck can you even type that when you already admitted that the rules don't make sense? Having an average experience with Scion is if anything the example of having had a good Storyteller, since it leaves a fuckton of basic shit entirely up to the MC. We're literally talking about a product line managed to take up 900+ pages without ever managing to include non-combat difficulty thresholds or comprehensible motivations or win/loss conditions for the big war the whole damn game is supposedly about. Meanwhile, its big claim to fame is that you get to interact with characters that are the very definition of public domain. For all we know Koumei's storyteller might deserve a fucking medal.
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Post by Silent Wayfarer »

F/SN has arbitrary mechanics which are twisted and loopholed and eventually ignored to make an interesting narrative. So I guess that's a way you could use Scion for Fate.
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Post by Koumei »

name_here wrote:So fatebinding is a supernatural power by which Scions can manipulate the very fabric of reality and the minds of their enemies into fitting with standard plots. That, uh, seems like a really awesome power.
"So, you're the Scion of a Japanese god, right?"
"Yeah?"
"I HAVE GOOD NEWS, YOU'RE NOW THE PROTAGONIST OF A HAREM ANIME!"
"AWESOME!"
"Bad news: you have to adhere to the tropes and be vague and clueless and not actually know half the girls like you. Of the remaining half, you still may never choose one, destined to being beaten up."
"Oh fuck you"

This could totally be a comedy game. I mean, the mechanics are a joke, so that's a good start. Personally, I'd make them all be "theoretically mortal (so, human appearance) reincarnations", not children of the gods. And at that point, you may as well make them reincarnations of, say, the great generals from the Three Kingdoms era, rather than gods*. So you take the R3K crew and reincarnate them as, say, Japanese highschool girls, fighting each other as they try to escape the fate that tries to make them relive history. Oh man, someone should make an anime based on that!

Incidentally, does Scio have an expansion that offers Merits and Flaws? If so, was the point limit on those five or seven? Because if Yes and Seven respectively, you could actually start the game as "winning the game".

Edit: yeah, honestly, Mister Cavern** did a stellar job, getting it to make any fucking sense, giving us a reason to work together from different pantheons and then go and do stuff that we cared about as "people who exist now" as well as for godly reasons, and cutting out a lot of bullshit. It was acceptably fun, but not amazingly so. The MC did his best with the stuff that was there.

*Or in the case of Guan Yu's case, both.

**If you're joining the Den, you need to get in on our nomenclature. We don't have some all-powerful dude who tells all the players a story and they sit and listen if they know what's good for them. We have Mister Cavern.
Last edited by Koumei on Tue Apr 02, 2013 12:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Voss »

Seramus wrote:
Voss wrote:Anyway... I will be mildly surprised if White Wolf still exists in a couple years, so the threat of Scion mark 2 seems pretty low to me.
It's officially on the list to be made.
So the fuck what? I'm sure Lorraine Williams still had a five year plan* on her desk at TSR when people came to pack that shit up.

They may try to milk fanboys for a few more years, but WW looks like a dried up turd on a bad stretch of road, and has for years.



*but she probably crossed a bunch of shit off and penciled in Buck Rodgers shit. And possibly Rocky and Bullwinkle, 2nd edition.
Whipstitch wrote:
Voss wrote: Where does Scion fall in the scale of WW's creepy sexual fetishism?
Relative to other WW games? Creepier than Demon, but a notch less creepy than Exalted or Werewolf. Any god with with a fertility shtick is described as predictably horny and there's the occasional nipple in the art, so it's definitely a White Wolf game. The creepiest bits that I remember off the top of my head had to do with Amazons being willing to capture male Scions for breeding purposes, because apparently WW had to keep their rape camp streak alive. Also, there was a nymph that apparently blesses villages to keep them free of disease but only on the condition that she be allowed to take the virginity of teen boys. So, there's some definite eyebrow raisers, but it's largely cordoned off to a few bits of NPC behavior rather than a systematic attempt to encourage player characters to rape dogs for great justice.
It actually bothers me immensely that it sounds like Scion was relatively tame and almost reasonable for a White Wolf product.
Last edited by Voss on Tue Apr 02, 2013 4:21 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by Username17 »

Onyx Path Publishing is a shovelware company that uses kickstarter and a license agreement with the Icelanders (who almost completely liquidated their print production staff in October of 2011) to get nostalgic White Wolf fans to pay them money in advance to "keep lines alive". Basically, the business model is that they hold beloved lines hostage and then crap out some shovelware using mostly cheap fan labor. Obviously, the big priorities there are Vampire: the Masquerade and Exalted, but they also have the license for new World of Darkness, Scion, and Trinity.

I have no doubt that Onyx Path Publishing will end up making something that they call "Scion 2nd Edition". It might only get a pdf release and it will almost certainly be written with cheap or free fan labor, but it will almost certainly "exist". For certain values of "exist".

Onyx Path Publishing will keep teetering along using existing licenses to connect fan authors and artists to semi-professional layout and then sell to the market of "nostalgic fans who will apparently buy anything". Since the company really is just the old White Wolf Art Director, I'm sure he has enough free or cheap artwork to keep doing this for a long, long time.

Now on to the broader question of "Will the 2nd edition of Scion fix the game's underlying problems of incoherent rules and setting?"

Image

Fuck. it might not even come out in hard copy at all.

Edit: Sorry about that.

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Post by Koumei »

Although it answers the question just fine, I'm pretty sure that is not the image you wanted. I'd suggest saving it, chucking it on a tinypic account and linking that.
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Post by wotmaniac »

Koumei wrote:Although it answers the question just fine, I'm pretty sure that is not the image you wanted. I'd suggest saving it, chucking it on a tinypic account and linking that.
or at least spoiler that shit.
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Post by Fucks »

FrankTrollman wrote:Onyx Path Publishing is a shovelware company that uses kickstarter and a license agreement with the Icelanders (who almost completely liquidated their print production staff in October of 2011) to get nostalgic White Wolf fans to pay them money in advance to "keep lines alive". Basically, the business model is that they hold beloved lines hostage and then crap out some shovelware using mostly cheap fan labor. Obviously, the big priorities there are Vampire: the Masquerade and Exalted, but they also have the license for new World of Darkness, Scion, and Trinity.
Don't they try to squeeze in some new stuff like Mummy: The Curse?
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Post by Username17 »

Fucks wrote:
FrankTrollman wrote:Onyx Path Publishing is a shovelware company that uses kickstarter and a license agreement with the Icelanders (who almost completely liquidated their print production staff in October of 2011) to get nostalgic White Wolf fans to pay them money in advance to "keep lines alive". Basically, the business model is that they hold beloved lines hostage and then crap out some shovelware using mostly cheap fan labor. Obviously, the big priorities there are Vampire: the Masquerade and Exalted, but they also have the license for new World of Darkness, Scion, and Trinity.
Don't they try to squeeze in some new stuff like Mummy: The Curse?
Sure. Also new "creator owned" stuff like Cavaliers of Mars. They are a vanity press that does print on demand and electronic downloads of pdfs. They don't actually make "things", they are a pdf imprint. You can bring your pdf to them, and pay them money and they will "legitimize" your product by putting it under their imprint on DriveThruRPG. Or rather, "his imprint", because Onyx Path Publishing is really just Richard Thomas.

Note that Onyx Path Publishing doesn't actually run the printers or the pdf store. "They" are literally just a dude who has the rights to publish things that use CCP-owned intellectual property who has a contract with DriveThruRPG to use their pdf store and print on demand services. But he's an "official license holder", so I gather he makes OK money off the desperate fan and vanity press market.

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Post by Koumei »

So a quick Google says "Seven points in flaws is the standard". I need to see if they released a Player's Handbook or whatever it is that usually adds those options. Because being able to start at Legend five six (hahaha you get ten bonus points for hitting five, KACHING) would be beyond hilarious. Sure, that leaves basically no points to actually spend on the things that become available to you from the higher Legend, but you get a bunch of extra free crap anyway.

Given this is the company that made "the power level" a fucking Background in Vampire (the cheapest thing to boost in character creation), I wouldn't be surprised if you actually could do that.
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Post by Username17 »

Unusual for a White Wolf game, there aren't any rules for flaws in Scion. Also, the list of backgrounds is really short and doesn't include things like resources. The Companion does include rules for starting with a higher than normal Legend. Basically it's like the Elysium rules for Vampire: you pick a higher power level and then you have more power.

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Post by Fucks »

FrankTrollman wrote:
Fucks wrote:
FrankTrollman wrote:Onyx Path Publishing is a shovelware company that uses kickstarter and a license agreement with the Icelanders (who almost completely liquidated their print production staff in October of 2011) to get nostalgic White Wolf fans to pay them money in advance to "keep lines alive". Basically, the business model is that they hold beloved lines hostage and then crap out some shovelware using mostly cheap fan labor. Obviously, the big priorities there are Vampire: the Masquerade and Exalted, but they also have the license for new World of Darkness, Scion, and Trinity.
Don't they try to squeeze in some new stuff like Mummy: The Curse?
Sure. Also new "creator owned" stuff like Cavaliers of Mars. They are a vanity press that does print on demand and electronic downloads of pdfs. They don't actually make "things", they are a pdf imprint. You can bring your pdf to them, and pay them money and they will "legitimize" your product by putting it under their imprint on DriveThruRPG. Or rather, "his imprint", because Onyx Path Publishing is really just Richard Thomas.

Note that Onyx Path Publishing doesn't actually run the printers or the pdf store. "They" are literally just a dude who has the rights to publish things that use CCP-owned intellectual property who has a contract with DriveThruRPG to use their pdf store and print on demand services. But he's an "official license holder", so I gather he makes OK money off the desperate fan and vanity press market.
Not trying to defend OPP here, but using print on demand via DTRPG is not the worst idea in game publishing these days.

Any chance you might review Mummy: The Curse, btw?
Last edited by Fucks on Tue Apr 02, 2013 9:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Koumei »

FrankTrollman wrote:Unusual for a White Wolf game, there aren't any rules for flaws in Scion. Also, the list of backgrounds is really short and doesn't include things like resources. The Companion does include rules for starting with a higher than normal Legend. Basically it's like the Elysium rules for Vampire: you pick a higher power level and then you have more power.
So it's just "Mister Cavern can give everyone a power boost, like you didn't know that" and nothing more? While that's sad, it's probably good that they didn't provide a way to straight up shoot to the next book in character creation.

And yeah, only four BackgroundsBirthrights. No contacts, no money, no secret hiding place. And I'm going to shout out to the fucking awful Orpheus here and note that it also, unlike Orpheus, doesn't give the Health Insurance and Has Guns backgrounds. No really. In America, having fucking health insurance is something that requires a payment of character points.
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Post by Username17 »

Fucks wrote:Any chance you might review Mummy: The Curse, btw?
There's a chance. But I would put that chance at "very small". It's basically assembled Mad Libs style out of forum posts and then edited together by a couple of old White Wolf hacks after a kickstarter to shake down the stakeholders. Reviewing it would be like tearing into something like Genius or Princess, or any other Forum cobbled project.

The big difference is that the addition of deadlines and paid hacks means that instead of the eternal mission creep of people wanting to add more stuff and people wanting to fix the objectively terrible nWoD rules while maintaining "compatibility" that forum projects usually have, it simply cobbled together whatever was there at go time and hacked it into the existing nWoD rules framework.

NWoD games are so easy to write that you can poop one out in a month if that's what you really want to do. It's literally Mad Libs. You have a monster type, and then you have 5 character divisions and 5 factional divisions and you just fill them in with words out of a thesaurus or fiddling with the last couple letters in the name of a historical group. For fuck's sake, the Mage and Werewolf groups appear to have been literally rolled up on a table of adjectives and nouns. So the Mummies have a "Decree" (one of five) and a "Guild" (one of five). What fucking ever. It's still nWoD and nWoD still sucks.

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Post by Fucks »

Thanks for the review :rofl: (Even though I would like to read your ramblings when tearing apart the books content).
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Post by Username17 »

Chapter 11: The Heroic Saga

We are not, in fact, going to do a paragraph by paragraph or entry by entry review of this section. It is fifty two pages long. It is also the campaign notes for the playtest campaign. Apparently, the playtest campaign spent a lot of time getting into the backstory of the relationship between the sample characters (who were therefore presumably the six characters in the playtest party) and their divine parents.

There are basically three adventures. The first and the third are somewhat standard adventure quest affairs, while the middle one is where you do six unordered side quests to get each of the characters a better relationship with their father. It's like the Final Fantasy IV school of campaign design.

There are, for the first time in this fucking book, some actual Titanspawn. There's Tecuhtli, who is named after the rank held by Aztecs who had been promoted from commoners for great deeds in war. And in the game, this is represented as basically a gibbering mouther. If you're an actual combat character, this creature cannot hit you, but it does so much damage that if it actually did, you'd just explode. But that's it. Titanspawn are mentioned numerous times in here as an "extra" enemy you might want to add to an encounter, but there is, as of page 279 of the book only one sample Titanspawn, and it's a blob of eyes and mouths that hide under the sands of the Mojave Desert. So... not exactly the sort of thing that would be plausible to slot in to any of the other places in this story where they suggest you might want to use the settings actual fucking villains as the villains.

Not really a lot to say here. It's not the worst sample adventure I've seen, but it's incredibly specific to the sample characters who are almost certainly not who you'll be playing. Also, the amount of the actual world described is pretty small and almost all of it involves fiddling around with the gods and almost none of it involves facing off against the villains at all.

Next Up: Final Chapter: Antagonists!

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Chapter 12: Antagonists

These 53 pages at the end contain all the benchmarks you're going to get. Also the vast majority of the descriptions of the people you're supposed to be fighting. Also the writeups for the things you can get with your Creature, Follower, and Guide Birthrights (except for the ones so powerful that they come in the expansion books instead). And Relics are really only explained or limited based on the Creatures, which are again in this chapter.

Really, to the extent that the game has a system at all, it's "compare your numbers to a character in the antagonists' chapter who you'd think would be able to do a task and then compare your roll to what they would pull off on average". Which really makes you wonder why this is the last chapter and not the first.

Bottom line:
  • Bystanders roll 3 dice on actions.
    Mooks roll 4-6 dice on actions.
    "Elite" Mooks roll 8 dice.
There are a bunch of pages given over to things like Berserkers (who are the blood thralls of Giants), Amazons, and Maenads, but they don't actually have stat lines. They just tell you to grab appropriate mortal stats and then give them a slight magical makeover. The amazon takes up an entire page to tell you that they count as elite soldiers with modest stat boosts who are therefore in no way worth their high cost to be Followers. A bunch of the variants are just mortals who happen to get Virtues (and thus you'd think, Willpower - but the non-special mortals who don't have divine virtues and therefore don't have a defined Willpower score are given Willpower anyway, thereby making magical mind control completely useless).

Then we get to the agents of Fate. Fate still doesn't make any sense, so these writeups don't make any sense. It can't decide whether the Fate is changeable or not, and whether prophecies impose the Fate or merely report it. And the text veers wildly from these different interpretations as it goes along. Because either every Fate entry was a multiple author word salad to begin with, or someone thought they had solved the Free Will/Fate puzzle by talking themselves around in circles while on mushrooms and just wrote it all down. For some reason, these are specific named characters, but the ones we actually want stats for (Urd, Verdandi, and Skuld) don't have stats. So we get to find out how hard it is to stab Paul Krugman, but not how hard it is to chat up Norns. I am disappoint.

There is more information about the Titans in this chapter than in all the others combined. This isn't terribly difficult, but it is what it is. In fact, there is more on the Titans and their backstory in the ghosts writeup than in the entire player section. What we actually learn about the Titans is... well it's kind of silly actually.

Team Titan has dark virtues. These are just like normal virtuals except they have names with negative connotations. So they have "virtues" like "Malice" and "Rapacity". Aside from the unintentionally hilarious names, I'm not really sure what these bad boys are for. Zealotry seems to be pretty much the same thing as Piety, except that "fight the gods" has been written in where they crossed out "obey the gods".

We also learn that despite the fact that Centaurs were listed as a non-titan, non-scion, non-mortal curiosity earlier in the book, they are actually on Team Titan. Also they make Sailor Moon style Youma out of bikers and motorcycle parts. For no reason. These are the first Titanspawn of the chapter, and on page 311 of this fucking book we finally see the true face of our enemy.

Image
You have got to be fucking kidding me.
Scion wrote:This Knack is unique to the Horsemen and totally negates any Brawl, Melee or Marksmanship penalties any Horseman might face for being grafted to a Harley-Davidson chopper),
:borg:

Now to be completely fair, not all of these guys are as retarded as that (although it's not the only one, there's also "Hogzilla", which is a Kaiju pig). They have standard issue giant animals (of evil) that are called "Nemeans" in honor of the Nemean Lion. They have Lindworms, which are basically D&D Purple Worms. Note that those were also in the lineup of things that weren't Titanspawn in the very small amount of setting description that the players actually get. Just to remind you:
Scion wrote:Centaurs, kitsune, lindwurms…” A low caw from Hugin broke Munin’s train of thought. “Ahem, yes. Such creatures were created similarly to the Gods long ago, but they are neither divine nor titanspawn, nor entirely mortal like human beings. They are simply what they are.”
Two out of three of the assholes these assholes said weren't Titanspawn actually are. So the setting info isn't just thin gruel - it's actively wrong even on its own terms.

Other than that, there's a couple of standard Greek monsters - Medusae, Harpies; and some Norse monsters - Fire Giants, Fenrir. And that's pretty much it. If you make a Combat character (which is to say that you have an Epic Dex of 3 and "Untouchable Opponent" as one of your three knacks), then there is nothing in this entire book that can hit you even one time in a thousand.

The last portion of the section is given over to mortal animals, and the results are as comical as you'd expect. House cats do in fact turn into a whirlwind of death and tear mortal bystanders to pieces. Wolves are probably stronger than you unless you have Epic Strength powers. And so on.

And yeah, most of the creatures that you can get to be your allies, followers, or guides are not actually in the book. Some of them aren't in the next book. I really have no idea where the stats for a Stymphalian Bird is, but you can have one at Creature 3 and it's Skarmory, so you'd think that would be good.

-Username17
hyzmarca
Prince
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Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 10:07 pm

Post by hyzmarca »

Chatting up Verdandi is pretty easy. You just have to dial the wrong number when trying to order a pizza and then wish for a girlfriend like her.
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Maxus
Overlord
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Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 7:54 pm

Post by Maxus »

*ba-dum TISH*
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
echoVanguard
Knight-Baron
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 6:35 pm

Post by echoVanguard »

FrankTrollman wrote:there's also "Hogzilla", which is a Kaiju pig
:awesome:

echo
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