2nd edition DMG
So, this is a book which meant well, Zeb seems like a good guy, it's just a product of it's time and place in the evolution of RPGs as we know them today. In that it's terrible and full of bad advice that will make you a bad GM.This newly revised and updated version of the AD&D(tm) game provides everything Dungeon Masters need to create thrilling role-playing challenges. For intermediate through advanced players. Ages 10 and up.
It's likely a good preview for the 5th edition DMG too, given how Mearls likes him some DM-authority figures who arbitrarily change all the rules several times per combat.
Special credit for the credits page, where they thank everyone who's written more than 1000 words for D&D over the years, and mention some of their "hundreds" of playtesters. I'm reading the 3rd printing from 1992, and they used stealth errata so it'll be subtly different than any other printing in many ways, but the bad bits are there anyway.
Forward
Exhorts the DM to not use the rules, not learn the rules, and to answer any questions about the rules by MAKING SHIT UP! OK, in part that's because the rules are incomplete (moreso than modern RPGs), but they're clear that ...
So before you play the game, or try anything, just assume the rules are shit and you should change every single one of them at a whim. BUT!By now, you should be familiar with the rules in the Player‘s Handbook. You’ve probably already noticed things you like or things you would have done differently. If you have, congratulations. You‘ve got the spirit every Dungeon Master needs. Curiosity and the desire to make changes, to do things differently because your idea is better than the other guy’s - these are the most important things a Dungeon Master needs. As you go through this rule book, I encourage you to continue to make these choices.
So change everything, but any mistakes that pop up are YOUR FAULT. The power tripping and ego inflation: it is not subtle here. The DM of 2nd edition is your GOD. Did your sword attack hit when you rolled a 20? Maybe, be sure to ask the DM.Don’t be afraid of experimentation, but do be careful. As a Dungeon Master, you have great power, and “with great power comes great responsibility.” Use it wisely.
Introduction
This is awesome. Players must not be allowed to know the rules in here, stuff like how combat works and what things exist in the world, because CONFUSION and SUSPICION are your allies. Also, they might notice you changed everything and are cheating all the time.
That may have even been true in 1989, ignoring the work of one Frank Mentzer. But this is amongst a screed telling you to change everything at a whim, all the time.The rules to the AD&D 2nd Edition game are balanced and easy to use. No role-playing game we know of has ever been playtested more heavily than this one. But
that doesn't mean it's perfect.
There are hundreds of triicks, shortcuts, and simple principles that can make you a better, more dramatic, and more creative game master.
But you won't find them in the DUNGEON MASTER[\i](tm) Guide.[/b]
Yes, that's an actual quote. This 200 page book on guiding the DM does not tell you how to be a better DM. At all. Doesn't even try. Deliberately avoids the notion. WHUT?!?
Player Character Ability Scores
Gives some sample rolls for the six different ability generation methods, that seem to be someone literally rolling dice and writing down five characters with each method rather than a fair statistical summary, but whatever. Anyway ...
Many players see their characters as nothing more than a collection of numbers that affects game systems. They don't think of their characters as personalities to be developed. Players like this want to "win" the game, somehow. These players are missing out on a lot of the fun.
If you're wondering how the Stormwind fallacy ever got traction, here it is on page 10 of the 2nd edition DMG. Anyhow, the next few pages are a discussion on punishing people for the dice rolling you made them do, and how people who make backgrounds are real roleplayers and won't mind having crap stats. They actually dissuade you from picking any sort of benchmark for acceptable bonuses, and tell you over and over again not to let anyone play Paladins or Druids, to make them more special when someone gets lucky with their dice (and is stupid enough to play a Paladin in 2nd edition).
Player Character Races
Discusses the class limits and gives level limits for the races (which are a secret for players to find out later ) and then tells you not to get rid of them because Humans would suck if you did, and then tells you five different ways of getting rid of them to make players of demi-humans happy. So good luck with that.
Oh, and provides advice on making custom races from monsters. Which is a screed on how a Giant would have +2 Str with a rolled minimum of 15 (and some random penalties pulled out your ass to match), not get gaint-like attacks or natural armour or anything, and then you should punish them for playing one by having all their equipment break all the time and townfolk try to randomly assassinate them.
Player Character Classes
Oh gods, it keeps getting worse. This is the screed where the King should be a zero-level soldier with 1d8+1 hit points because adventurers are special and nobles are hereditary fools, and also it's not common to find more than one thousand 2nd level Fighters in a group.
I'm a have to stop for a while. That is objectively terrible world-building. The Fighter actually has a class feature about becoming a Baron at 9th level with a castle and troops, but they forgot that right before explaining how you might like to not give them that if you feel like it.