So, to start:
The cover of the book shows some various monsters in various, monstery poses:
.(I've always like the look in the dragon's face, he looks all grumpy and constipated.)
The back cover has the same picture, just smaller and missing the minotaur and constipated dragon. The back text reads, in bright neon yellow on black:
Already, we have hilarity: Not only is the declaritive "more than 300 full-color illustrations show what the monsters really look like!" just inherently funny, but the second paragraph gives the blanket term "horrors" to everything in the book. This means, apparently, that things like cats are a great, big "horror".Back Cover wrote:Need a monster? Look inside, where more than 300 full-color illustrations show what the monsters really look like!
This book contains more than 600 monsters for the AD&D game, including creatures of myth and legend as well as fantastic creations unique to the AD&D game. Inside you'll find more than 20 types of dragons, 9 lycanthropes, 17 giantd, and hundreds of other horrors from aarakocra to zombie.
You'll never run out of foes with the AD&D MONSTEROUS MANUAL(TM) accessory, the most valuable monster reference ever!
Then again, I've been told that they can kill commoners...
Oh, and fun fact: Aarakocra is my Xbox 360 gamertag.
Now, let us delve into the book itself...
(I won't go over the staff credits, but I will point out that Tim Beach and Doug Stewart are listed as the illustrators for the Invisible Stalker entry. Oh, TSR, you so wacky.)
The first section is called
How To Use This Book
Which tells us in the first sentence that "this hardcover Monsterous Manual(TM) was created in response to the many request to gather monsters into a single, durable volume which would be convenient to carry". I will say that that is not quite the truth: For the entire, what 15+ years I've had this thing, the spine has been steadily falling apart, and it's also somewhat heavy. So, no, it is not easy to carry nor is it terribly sturdy. First sentence in and already the book is lying to me.
Anywho, it goes on to say that every monster from the MONSTEROUS COMPENDIUM(R) (MC, for short, because I like abbreviations) Volumes 1 adn 2 have been collected, as well as some creature dudes from later volumes. Apparently, each monster has been "revised, edited, and updated", including tweaks to statistics (which I wouldn't understand anyway), the addition of new info on some of the monsters, and that many of the monsters have been "reclassified", which has always struck me as ominous. I think I spelled that wrong, but I dont care too much, cause I"M HIGH!
It also says that some new beasties have been added, and that in cases of conflicting info, the new material (re: THE MONSTEROUS MANUAL(TM)) supercedes it previous shit.
Now, here's some fun: It says that certain entries have been condensed from their MONSTEROUS COMPENDIUM entries, to "make this book as complete as possible without increasing its size or price." They then give the example of the fact that there was a full-paged description of ravens in the MC appendix for... the... Greyhawk setting. Uh-huh*. It then goes on to say that in this book, the entry for ravens has been condensed to a few lines under the "Bird" entry, which is just fun to say. It gives the reason that it gives enough info for ravens to be used in a short encounter, and "it allows a page to be devoted to another advesary." Such as the Leucrotta, or the Mold. Boy oh boy.
It then has a paragraph on how to find a monster. Their brilliant advice?
Well, gee, thanks, I had no idea how books worked. Thanks, TSR!Flip through the pages or look in the index.
And now, for my first favorite part of the book. I'll just put the whole thing here:
What I took from it: Mix up monster behavior so you can throw your players off guard and kill them easier.What the Monsterous Manual wrote:All of the monsters described here are typical for their type. DMs should note that unusual variations are encouraged, but they are most effective when they depart from the expected.
What I took from it: Mix up monster encounters so you can throw your players off guard and kill them easier.What the Monsterous Manual wrote:Likewise, entries describe typical lairs for creatures, from the dungeon complexs they inhabit to the tree houses they build; changing the look of these make a monster encounter unique.
The rest of the section describes what the contents of the book are (monster entries and three small appendices: The first deals with making monsters, the second deals with summoning and includes tables for randomness, and the third is about creating NPC parties); how to deal with using monsters from different settings, such as whether there should be a Giff smackdab in the middle of Dark Sun (it's up the the DM, the DM is God); and then goes on to explain the layout of the book and what it covers.
These are the different parts of a Monster entry:
CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Where the beasty lives
FREQUENCY:The likelihood of encountering the beasty.
ORGANIZATION: The social stuctures that the beasty adopts.
ACTIVITY CYCLE: The time of day the beasty is active.
DIET: What the beasty eats.
INTELLIGENCE: How smart the beastie is
TREASURE: What, if any, goodies and loot the monster carries. The treasure tables, by the way, are not in the Monster Manual. They're buried somewhere in the DM guide.
ALIGNMENT: Is the beasty good, ebil, neutral, chaotic, lawful, and/or any confusing combination of such.
NO. APPEARING: How many of the beasties that will normally appear in an encounter.
ARMOR CLASS: The beasties defence
MOVEMENT: How fast the beasty is
HIT DIE: The beasties health
THAC0: OH GOD NO my head hurts from just looking at the entry. I'm not even gonna try.
NUMBER OF ATTACKS: How many times the beasty can attack. I think.
DAMAGE/ATTACK: How hard the beastie hits.
SPECIAL ATTACK: Indicates the power of a special attack move. The higher this stat, the more powerful a special attack move. It is applied to the following move types: FIRE, WATER, ELECTRIC, GRASS, ICE, PSYCHIC, DRAGON, and DARK.
SPECIAL DEFENSE: Indicates the resistance a Pokemon beasty has against special attacks. The higher this stat, the less damage sustained from a foes special attack.
MAGIC RESISTANCE: The chance that any magic cast at the beasty will fail to affect it.
SIZE: How big the beasty is.
MORALE: The likelyhood of the beasty being a complete pussy or total badass.
XP VALUE: So they're worth XP now?
And then the main body of text is broken up into:
Combat: How the beasty fights.
Habitat/Society: What, if any, culture the beasty has and what it's like.
Ecology: How the beasty fits into, well, the ecology of a given setting, what products or byproducts they produce, and other miscellania.
Then it says that some entries have variations, such as the fact that the xorn entry also includes the xaren, a similar creature.
And then it lists Psionics, and the sub-listings involved with that clusterfuck. However, my head is already pounding from lord knows how much sugar, and Psionics has always made my mind-brain hurt.
What I will say about it, though, is that it says if the DM choses not to use psionics in his campaign, then the powers can be changed to magical equivalents or simply ignored, the latter of which is shit advice.
And that's all for the intro, and already I've got a pounding headache and a sick stomach. I'll start on the monster entries tomorrow, unless I'm catatonic. Not a bad start.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go puke.
*Wait, what the fuck?! Why do ravens get a full page write up for fucking Greyhawk?! Admittedly, I'm no expert on all the various settings, but I was always under the impression that Greyhawk was the most vanilla D&D setting. I mean, I could understand if it were for the Ravenloft setting, because Ravenloft is "LOL so GOTH" and shit, but fucking GREYHAWK?! I mean, just why?
